Problem Nephew living with me.

curiouslady

1st Like
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Posts
91
Media
0
Likes
1
Points
41
Location
Denver (Colorado, United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Ahhhh - 3rd idea:

3: Toss his junk out the door - have locks changed - he has NO right to be on your property (doorstep!) and you can call cops - they will escort him to curb and 2nd time they will toss him into jail....

Please let us know how things work out - I'm more "hands on" so I'd just show him my shotgun and "invite" him to break down my door. Amazing what a cocked shotgun sound can do - even to drunks!
 

aninnymouse

Cherished Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Dec 13, 2006
Posts
2,812
Media
0
Likes
349
Points
553
Location
In My Own World
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
I'd go with the eviction notice, if his parents don't come. He's caused too much grief; he's stealing from you, he's jeapordizing your health.

If the law is a gray area, where because he gets his mail there, then he's a legal resident, you have to go with legal options.

If that doesn't help, go see legal aid. See what they can do Pro Bono.

Best of luck in getting this matter resolved.
 

rayray

Superior Member
Joined
May 26, 2006
Posts
1,704
Media
0
Likes
3,526
Points
268
Location
Daytona Beach (Florida, United States)
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Thank you to everyone with the overwhelming responses i have received..I am waiting for a call from his mom..They should be over sometime after 5..I have made appointments for doctors and clinics to seek help..He skipped them all. He spent the whole day and night in his room yesterday. There plan is to put him in the car and send him to the Salvation Army. That wont work. He has no street smarts. I know i have enabled him and feel like such a fool.I am 53 but on disability so i think i would be covered by the senior protection act. I will let you know what happens this evening..I am really not a wuss but my stomach is in knots right now.He is family and that's why it's gone on for this long..:confused:
 

spoon

Expert Member
Joined
May 20, 2011
Posts
3,206
Media
11
Likes
115
Points
208
Location
On a dark desert highway.
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Female
Thank you to everyone with the overwhelming responses i have received..I am waiting for a call from his mom..They should be over sometime after 5..I have made appointments for doctors and clinics to seek help..He skipped them all. He spent the whole day and night in his room yesterday. There plan is to put him in the car and send him to the Salvation Army. That wont work. He has no street smarts. I know i have enabled him and feel like such a fool.I am 53 but on disability so i think i would be covered by the senior protection act. I will let you know what happens this evening..I am really not a wuss but my stomach is in knots right now.He is family and that's why it's gone on for this long..:confused:

you're correct---you are not a wuss. you are someone who has tried helping someone out. unfortunatly, it didn't work. and, when you have problems with your health, there is only a certain amount of energy that you have.
 

helgaleena

Sexy Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2006
Posts
5,475
Media
7
Likes
43
Points
193
Location
Wisconsin USA
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Female
You and his folks are treating him like a child. That is a sort of 'enabling,' it's true.

One step you can take which has not yet been suggested is to get him a Post office box and have all his mail sent there instead. 'Street smarts' can only be acquired by life experience, which you cannot give him any more than you can keep him from legally getting alcohol. He will only get those things once he is out and the locks are changed.

Give him a warning that you want him out by a certain date. Or when his folks arrive, all of you sit together and compassionately come to an understanding of some kind whereby he contributes a set amount for food, rent and utilities. If he lies and goes against anything which he has signed, you will then have grounds for action.

I'm glad you unburdened yourself to us here, but you also need to speak to a social services person. Call United Way and they will steer you to the correct nonprofit organization. Or talk to your church. You deserve face-to-face support.
 

rbkwp

Mythical Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2007
Posts
79,262
Media
1
Likes
44,944
Points
608
Location
Auckland (New Zealand)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
being family is no excuse, in my book
age dictates a lot, i think
when i crap out, made provisions not to be a liability to my family..
and thats a lil more serious than a living 40yr old huh?
well fr me it is.?
understand he has a drinking problem, well..... a little compassion, not much tho, he has the resources available to him that we all have to us, am sure you folk have directed him on this.
 

rayray

Superior Member
Joined
May 26, 2006
Posts
1,704
Media
0
Likes
3,526
Points
268
Location
Daytona Beach (Florida, United States)
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Hi, I had to take a little time after the parents visited. About 2 hours after they left i started heaving.I dont know if it came from nerves or an actual stomach virus.His parents took if out to eat to have a talk. I sure he worked on his mom's emotions and the step dad listened. They came back and i brought everything out in the open. He sure as hell did not like it. You see if they took him to the Salvation Army he'd be right back over.I suggested he enroll in a great program at the SA i had went through 12 years ago. He immediatly said no way..He had the glare in his eye from the start of the talk. I said to him, Denny nothing changes if nothing changes..He did'nt have an answer for that but i reluctantly agreed to keep him for 30 days. Meanwhile i will get a PO Box for him, going to the bank Monday to have a Notary witness my 30 day notice for him to leave the premises and give him a copy. If there is anything else anyone can think of want else i should do, let me know. Thank You everyone. I dont feel so alone with you guys and gals around..
 

Hoss

Loved Member
Joined
Aug 22, 2010
Posts
11,801
Media
2
Likes
586
Points
148
Age
73
Location
Eastern town
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Hi, I had to take a little time after the parents visited. About 2 hours after they left i started heaving.I dont know if it came from nerves or an actual stomach virus.His parents took if out to eat to have a talk. I sure he worked on his mom's emotions and the step dad listened. They came back and i brought everything out in the open. He sure as hell did not like it. You see if they took him to the Salvation Army he'd be right back over.I suggested he enroll in a great program at the SA i had went through 12 years ago. He immediatly said no way..He had the glare in his eye from the start of the talk. I said to him, Denny nothing changes if nothing changes..He did'nt have an answer for that but i reluctantly agreed to keep him for 30 days. Meanwhile i will get a PO Box for him, going to the bank Monday to have a Notary witness my 30 day notice for him to leave the premises and give him a copy. If there is anything else anyone can think of want else i should do, let me know. Thank You everyone. I dont feel so alone with you guys and gals around..
I like that you are giving him an extension but setting down a time line. As you are aware from being with it, the Sally does work if a person has a willingness to make the changes needed. You just have to be ready to get his mom and stepfather and even the police there if in 30 days he hasn't gotten it together. Best of luck and let us know how it goes.