problem staying/getting hard, advice please?

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by lotsofquestions, May 9, 2011.

  1. lotsofquestions

    lotsofquestions New Member

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    Hey guys. I am a 21 year old guy. I lost my virginity about a month ago. needless to say I have been jerking off my whole life. 2-3 times a day, 1000 times a year, for like 6 or 7 years now. thats about 6000+ jerk offs!!!!

    when fooling around with my girl, sometimes I have a hard time getting hard and staying hard. I dont know if its because im nervous as im (was) a virgin and she doesnt know it. (I did very good for my first few times... she believed im experienced so...) sometimes even while fucking I will go from rock hard, to just firm/half soft!!! :frown1:

    heres another problem, I have a foot fetish!!! for years I have jerked off to foot porn lol!!! I also read something about jerking off in the fetal position can make guys get problems jerking off/cumming when theyre on their backs or standing or whatever. tits, ass, pussy, dirty talk, all that stuff turns me on a little bit, but sometimes its not enough and I find myself thinking of cute feet in order to try to get hard so we can fuck, but sometimes that doesnt work and it wont get hard, or it wont stay hard.

    so whats wrong with me?! I am 21. I should be able to get rock hard and stay rock hard for an hour should I?

    is it because im subconsciously nervous and inexperienced?
    is it because my foot fetish it way too strong?
    is it all the fetal position jerking off I have done?

    thanks guys. hope you can help clear up some confusion!!!!
     
  2. wild_boy

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    Couple of possible reasons.

    First - maybe you need the thrill of someone new, so after you get to "know" a woman you get "bored" with her.

    Second - maybe women are not your "destiny".. when you see cock or just naked guys, you feel turned on?
     
  3. Joll

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    I wouldnt worry about the feet thing, dude - if that's what does it for you, fine. :)

    About the loss of hardness - could be any number of things. Not taking any meds are you? They can have a big effect (especially anti-depressants) and cause problems in getting erect. Also, stress or depression could have an impact.

    If you're too worried I'd see a doctor - always nice to put your mind at rest and find out what you can do to solve the prob. :)

    Good luck, bro.
     
  4. Gecko4lif

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    Stop watching porn.
    And use foreplay.
     
  5. paigexox

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    I've noticed a lot of guys go through cycles during sex from hardness, to semi, back to hard, and so on. You really shouldn't worry about it unless it's causing penetration problems or your girlfriend dislikes it.

    Really really extreme solution would be a penis pump. I've fooled around with a couple guys in the past who were larger, but on the soft side, just a slight bit of fun with a penis pump would leave them rock hard n' ready for milking. :saroll:


    Congrats on trading in the V-card
     
  6. Robert53

    Robert53 Member

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    as joll said, could be meds. probably just shyness. stay focused on your target....and enjoy the moment. you are probably rating yourself and coming up "short." if she is enjoying it, then get in the groove. it is probably not a physical thing, but a mental thing.....thats what my doc told me!

    r
     
  7. Joll

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    Stop being a twat.
    And use manners.
     
  8. Gecko4lif

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    No to both.
     
  9. D_William Fuckner

    D_William Fuckner New Member

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    how was he being a twat?
     
  10. lotsofquestions

    lotsofquestions New Member

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    1st: no, she is still pretty new but I know what youre saying. I might get bored.. but not this fast! ive even had this problem when I was getting with girls for the first time too.

    2nd. thats what scares me. I am pretty sure im not gay, doing stuff with another guy kinda grosses me out. I jokingly act gay towards one or two guys at work because they are homophobes, so I hope thats not subconsciously hiding something.... I am comfortable with my sexuality and am 99% sure I like girls lol!!!

    actually guys, I didnt find this post rude at all. I found it to probably be very true. short and to the point. not much foreplay goes on with my girlfriend. some kissing, ear kissing, and shes ready to go!!! as am I, but sometimes it just doesnt stay hard while were fucking. I think I am just so nervous/worried about my size. I am 6.25 inches in length and feel that its not long enough. feels like my thrusts arent long enough. it feels like im only thrusting 2 measly inches because I kinda think my dick is small (6.25 x 4.5) and it kinda screws with my mind while im fucking her and causes me to soften up a bit from rock hard :( weve pretty much only done missionary. she tried on top once, wasnt that great. I wasnt fully hard so it was only like 4 inches long and half soft. it was embarrassing.

    maybe I try to compare my dick and fucking styles to what ive seen in pornos too much. also my girlfriend made it sound like shes a pornstar in the sack and it doesnt really seem like it so that intimidated me a lot. I am very comfortable with her and asked her 3 or 4 days ago is she prefers length or girth. she said girth. I said I wish mine was "girthier" and she said mine was perfect... now I dont know if she was just saying that or what? it sure was a confidence booster thats for sure. ive always been shy of my dick size and that has a lot to do with who I am today. it made me anti social, I dont drink and go out and party, ever. was lacking confidence in high school. not so much now. instead I worked hard, and lots. I have no social life. I work for 60% of my days, months, years. I worked 321 days last year, 12 hour shifts. dick size (or how I think mines small) has always been something that was in the back of my mind and now I dont know what to think. I am totally comfortable showing it to the girlfriend, soft or hard, she always plays with it. soft its anywhere from 2-3 inches. she says its cute... that kinda sucks. its not tiny though. maybe I just need to start using it more!!!

    its definitely a mental thing. I overthink things all day long every day. im not on meds. smoke a little weed after a 12+ hour work day but thats about it.

    thanks for the help guys, so far you have helped me a lot and put up with a lot of my wall of text rants!!! its helping though. I appreciate it! :D
     
  11. Gecko4lif

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    I dont know your opinion on eating pussy but it gets me rock hard. Not the act in it's self but her reaction to it. Afterwards I could fuck a hole in a concrete block.

    Also dont be afraid to experiment with positions. It is the only way you find out what works.

    If you concerned about being too small there are 3 good potions you can try

    Sex Position Advice | Sex positions and sex tips for Men and Women - Rabbit Ears -Sex Position Advice | Sex positions and sex tips for Men and Women
    Sex Position Advice | Sex positions and sex tips for Men and Women - Doggy Style-Sex Position Advice | Sex positions and sex tips for Men and Women
    Sex Position Advice | Sex positions and sex tips for Men and Women - The V-formation -Sex Position Advice | Sex positions and sex tips for Men and Women
     
  12. lotsofquestions

    lotsofquestions New Member

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    thats the thing I was going to mention too. she doesnt let me eat her out!!!! she does kinda smell down there, but I do too. my smell is disgusting IMO and she doesnt seem to mind.. or at least doesnt mention it. hers too isnt like flowers but I dont care, thats life. no ones is perfect.... right guys? I would love to eat her out and pleasure her all night long if she wanted, I dont care how sore my jaw was. I just wish she would let me... I can promise she would like it!!! any advice on how to get her to let me eat her out?

    those are 3 position that I will definitely be trying next time I see her. wanted to try doggy style but was scared that was too close to anal for her.

    thanks a lot for all the help, I really appreciate it. I think I can speak for both me and my girlfriend when I say thank you!!!
     
  13. Gecko4lif

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    That sounds like bad hygiene. Or at the very least a bacterail imbalance on her part. Also trimming your pubes reduces your crotch smell by a great deal.

    Im not sure what to say there because all the girls I have been with have wanted it. Does she not want you too because of the smell or does she legitimately not want you to? There is a finger technique I could teach you that would blow her mind but it requires time and practice.

    No problemo. I remember the first time I had sex. God that was a fiasco lol. But the more you two have sex the better it wil get becuase you will know what each other likes.

    Also If your strong enough/She is light enough you should try this one

    Sex Position Advice | Sex positions and sex tips for Men and Women - Stand and Deliver -Sex Position Advice | Sex positions and sex tips for Men and Women

    It is a personal favorite. You are plowing her with her own body weight which is great for chicks who like it rough.
     
  14. karldergrosse

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    Lots, sounds as if your basic problem is psychological: your concern about the size of your penis. At 6.25 inches you are on the upper side of average--plenty of length for enjoyable, successful intercourse. How to stop worrying? No magic solution, unfortunately--but try concentrating more on your partner than on your own physical attributes...concentrating on the pleasure you are giving and the pleasure you are receiving. Too, you need to stop worrying that you will fail--that's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
     
    #14 karldergrosse, May 11, 2011
    Last edited: May 11, 2011
  15. Joll

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    Needs to be taken in the context of his other post to the OP, on a different thread.

    The OP doesn't seem to have a prob with it tho, so it's cool. :)
     
  16. D_mvnu75g3

    D_mvnu75g3 New Member

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    hey, why blow things up into something complicated when it's not ?

    you've been used to a firm grip on your cock and now it's suddenly gone. no wonder you're not getting as hard as before.

    you probably are also thinking your gf should be enough to get you rock hard. well she will once you're this TEMPORARY and easily solved issue. you're no doubt missing out on some great turn ons from her at the moment because you're distracted.

    here's my advice for what it's worth...

    buy some stuff off the internet to help you stiffen up and stay hard. you aren't / won't become impotent or dependent on them. they'll just take the stress off for a while.

    tell your gf how much it would / does turn you on if she helps get you hard. you both bring it up and both enjoy it. show her how to handle your cock to best effect (having prepared earlier natch !!). there are some techniques you can work on together.

    you can really enjoy turning each on and fine tuning what you do. it works for me !! i'll bet there's something you can do at the same time that will get her going big time, which gets you going, which gets her going, you get the picture LOL.

    there is also some stretching you can do that will really help. it'll also bring out your definition, pretty cool.

    regards, nick
     
  17. D_Taylor Sniffed

    D_Taylor Sniffed Account Disabled

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    Is one pump better than the others where do I find them?
     
  18. hung

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    "Lots of Questions" has at least two topics on this site which indicate that he is looking for answers.

    It is interesting to me that he appears to not know anything on one topic and attempts to come across as knowledgeable in the other topic.

    As many have pointed out here, he needs to get a great resource and read up on sex and sexual activity.

    He can even go to a public library and research "health related books" and acquire a lot of answers; especially his concerns about "birth control" and "disease prevention."
     
  19. lotsofquestions

    lotsofquestions New Member

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    where have I tried to come across as "knowledgeable" in my other topic? seriously? my other topic is the pregnancy one and I will flat out admit - which I even did in my first post there - that I pretty much know nothing about that stuff. I have been a single virgin my whole life who does nothing but work. and speaking of work. do you really think me, or anyone is going to go to a library and start learning about sex education? get real man, this is 2010 and youre not watching treehouse tv right now, this is real life. I work 12+ hours a day in the construction industry for 26 days a month, 12 months a year. I get 2-3 hours to myself per day and the rest is spent sleeping and working. I get 2 days off per month which seem like 2 hours and if you think im going to go to a public library and learn about sex like you see on Degrassi youre sadly mistaken. not trying to sound like a dick.

    does anyone even go to the library anymore? especially a 21 year old male going there to learn about sex? come on man, thats what the internet is for. most people use google... smarter ones will use a forum.... see where im going here?

    hope that didnt offend you or scare anyone off!! I like all this advice, it is helping a little bit and definitely making me more comfortable with myself which you guys have no idea how much I appreciate!!!!
     
    #19 lotsofquestions, May 12, 2011
    Last edited: May 12, 2011
  20. wild_boy

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    OK, fair enough - see below though.

    Well, it's possible to like girls and boys in the same time - I'm good example, enjoying sex with both genders. Are you "grossed out" because you was taught to believe it's gross, or because when you actually imagine you with another guy it turns you off?
     
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