Problem with ex

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Aug 11, 2005.

  1. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    Jason01: Ok...I am new here, and to the whole idea of me being "endowed". I don't think that I am, but according to my ex, I am. I am 7.25" x 6". I don't think it is big, but by all of the studies that I find, I am in the top 80%(or so).

    Anyways, I have a question, and I have nobody really that can relate. Me and my ex had been dating for 3 years, and we never had sex very much(maybe once every month or 2), and we would screw around(oral/foreplay)once every few weeks. The problems started when I figured out how to give her orgasms(she was my first). While I would spend all the time she needed to get her off, she would do virtually nothing for me. If we had sex, we spent ~1 hour in foreplay, before she would let me in, and then that would only last 2-4 min., before she told me that I was hurting her.

    After reading some on here allready, I think that the term that would be used for us would be "sexually incompatible". She could not provide for me, and it slowly ate away at me, until I became down right mean. We are still friends, and we talk, and she agrees that the sex was probably part of the downfall of the relationship.

    Now, at work, I have a very close friend, who is a woman(same age as me), and we have been discussing my relationship with my ex for many months now. It took me a while to get the nerve to ask her(person at work) if there is a too big, or if my ex was full of it. She had no idea.

    I have tried chat rooms, but only got crap. Is this really possible?

    Any advice for future relationships that this may arise in?
     
  2. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio
    Well, without knowing any more about the situation that what you've told us here, I can tell you right off she was a selfish lover! Judging from the infrequency of your sex it sounds like she may have just been frigid in general.

    I don't think there's really such a thing as too big or too small, but there certainly is sexual incompatibility. Since you are well above average, if she happened to be smaller, there could have been some discomfort for her. My first inclination is that she just was not a very sexual person, but it is quite possible that the two of you were not a good fit.
    You are not so outlandishly large that this should be a frequent problem, I wouldn't think. I'd imagine most women will be pleased with what you have to offer, I wouldn't really suggest taking any extra precautions for your next relationship. Sex is only one aspect of a quality relationship, but you may want to think about whether you would choose to stay in a relationship for so long where your own needs are not being met. Best of luck to you, and welcome to the forum!
     
  3. hungcuriousnc

    hungcuriousnc Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2004
    Messages:
    535
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    85
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sanford, NC, USA
    Now honey.. you wouldn't park a limo in the lawn mower shed... Instead of fretting, just find a bigger garage. *In plain terms* Kick that bitch to curb! You're gifted with a big dick, find you someone who'll squat all the way down on that thing!

    For me, if the sex isn't adequate and good... I know I'll wander. Sexuall incompatability means hump and dump in my book. Take it for a test drive, don't like, don't buy it.
     
  4. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    kill her and shove her corpse down a drain
     
  5. txquis

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,831
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    heee.
    sorry, giggling at what dr rock said, thinking of my own evil ex.
    anyhow...uh..where was i? oh yes...

    I think people place too *little* importance on sexual compatibility.

    It is a very important issue, and can really ruin things.
    I"m a very sexual person...and when i'm paired with someone who
    is never horny, and has a very low sex drive, there is a built in frustration,
    and lack of fulfilment...

    Yes, there are other things in a relationship, but if there is no or little or incompatible sex, that is called friendship, eh?
     
  6. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    Jason01: Well, I guess she probably was too small. However, in the past 2 months since we broke up, she has been with 3 or 4 different guys. However, I am proud to report that none of them are bigger than 5"(so she says). I actually feel sorry for them. That and none of them can get her off! :evilgrin:

    It kind of makes me feel empowered. I know that it's not that big, but I am a big guy(6', 250Lbs), and it makes me feel better about myself. However, now, I think I may have an admirer. The girl I work with.....well, she knows about my "problems" with my ex(like I said, we talk about everything, from what movies are good to masturbation techniques, hers and mine!). I had never brought up size before, and now that I have, I notice her looking at me differently. She is in a relationship right now, but it seems to be a bad one. However, I am not sure if I would want to ruin a friendship for that. If she made the first move, maybe....

    Dr. Rock -
    Is that your solution for everything?
     
  7. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    do you got a better one??
     
  8. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    Jason01: Yep..
    I decided to let all of the little boys who don't know enough about female anatomy to know where a clitoris is, or even if they did, don't know what to do with it have her. It makes me feel better, and it's not illegal....
     
  9. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    well, on reflection and taking that into consideration, I still prefer my solution
     
  10. KinkGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southwest US
    Oh jason, my boy. You will learn. If they don't like the size of the amusement park and are too self centered and self absorbed to appreciate the thrill, tell 'em to get the fuck off the ride. Yes, you should put every possible effort forth to become an exceptional lover, one who knows what to do with his gifts and how to make those gifts a joy, for both partners. But, if it's "all about her".....she ain't worth the waste of a good hard on.
     
  11. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    Agree with what the people said about your ex probably not being a very sexual person as well as selfish when it comes to your needs...At least you have moved on...
     
Draft saved Draft deleted