Problems at the work place

[2xdog]

I'm not enormous: erect I'm just over 7".
The biggest problem I have is when I'm not erect.
I have to be careful of what I wear and how I stand or it shows like a horse. I also a have good looks, so I feel people think I'm a braggart.

I got a new job, and had been working there a month or so (it's a casual musician's job where you can wear blues jeans, shorts, etc). One morning I came in to work and a girl was talking to my boss which I had to pass by. She turned around and looked at my crotch as I passed by (it looked as if the boss had said "Here her comes--look!"). Believe me, I'm not saying this is a horrible defect—in fact, it is something to be proud of—but I just don't want people thinking I'm flaunting myself.

A fews days later I walked in to work, and the same boss said to me (and this guy's a "reborn Christian"), "So" insert my name here, "did you ever think of going into ballet?" He smirked an inside joke smirk, and I asked what he meant. He shrugged it off. Later I realized it was because I was wearing blue jeans that showed my size---not painted on, though.

Again, I'm certainly not ashamed of the size, but it does seem to cause male to male relationship problems because they assume I'm either a womanizer or gay.

Sigh.

 

[biguy2738]

Don't take it personally, jealousy makes you nasty!

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I guess you just can't quit... I would just try and shrug it off... because it is dealing with your cock.. it really isn't something I think you would want to have a talk with, with your boss. Hope things get better....

Welcome to the group.

 

[TripodMillenium]

You could confront him subtly next time in a way that lets him know he's verging on sexual harassment.... or you could just ask him why he's looking so intently. :wink:

 

[smoothrnb]

I would take these comments as recognition of your size. I got some of these same comments. I shrugged them off or made a joke about my size to difuse any tension of the moment. I do not receive any more.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

A fews days later I walked in to work, and the same boss said to me (and this guy's a "reborn Christian"), "So" insert my name here, "did you ever think of going into ballet?" He smirked an inside joke smirk, and I asked what he meant. He shrugged it off.

That is unprofessional behavior from your boss. You are completely within your rights (in fact, you are actually obligated) to make it clear that such comments are unwelcome. Do it soon and keep a log of everything that happens.

If the comments and stares don't stop, you can file a harrassment complaint against the boss. You may prevail in your complaint but there will likely still be repercussions. You'll have to consider how much you really value being in that job.

Good luck.

 

[Caelestis]

I used to get the bus into work, and it always had the same people on it. It was an hour long drive and I *always* fell asleep...

I get an erection every time I sleep, or doze.

I can't count the number of times I walked off that bus with an embaressing erection that I just couldn't hide. God knows what people were thinking.

As for you, find a subtle way of returning the "joke". That'll make him so uncomfortable he'll probably never look you in the eyes again.

 

[open501s]

If this was a situation with a women showing her chest; not showing it off ... just showing it she would have a case of sexual harassment against the boss.

What he said was out of line. Keep a record of it and discuss it with your HR rep if it continues to be a problem.

 

[2xdog]

Thanks for all the advice!

It's one of those things that take you off guard, and you don't know how to react.

Now, I hope I'll be ready next time he thinks he's so funny.

 

[mattyacht]

I had a situation where my vindictive ex's mother called my employer back in 97 and told him I was gay. The homophobic boss, my ex and his mother collaborated for months to get me online and in the chat rooms. The boss went in there and solicited nude pics of me. We'll I fell for it hook line and sinker. They got a good one with a full boner. I would have to say that it was a hot pic in all humility. I've never seen so many supposedly straight men so terrified and intrigued at the same time. I was blackblalled. I had to make a career change.

 

[mattyacht]

All you posters take heed. The internet is a small world. Your coworkers just might find you too. Don't show your face and your junk at the same time.

 

[Osiris]

That is unprofessional behavior from your boss. You are completely within your rights (in fact, you are actually obligated) to make it clear that such comments are unwelcome. Do it soon and keep a log of everything that happens.

If the comments and stares don't stop, you can file a harrassment complaint against the boss. You may prevail in your complaint but there will likely still be repercussions. You'll have to consider how much you really value being in that job.

Good luck.

I have to concur with SpeedoGuy. Now something else you may want to try is maybe wearing cargo pants or pleated front khakis. This might help hide the obvious bulge. Jeans tend to be cut for a tighter fit, maybe something looser will help with that.

 

[Eva]

I have to concur with SpeedoGuy. Now something else you may want to try is maybe wearing cargo pants or pleated front khakis. This might help hide the obvious bulge. Jeans tend to be cut for a tighter fit, maybe something looser will help with that.

The former HR gal in me concurs with the harassment thing.

The absolute-girl in me pleads with you to skip the pleated pants. JUST SAY NO TO PLEATS!!

 

[cgttown]

First, it does sound a bit like harrassment, but that doesn't help you all that much. Honestly, he's probably just jealous. Ignore his comments and him. He probably feels intimidated and doesn't want to admit it.

If he thought you were wearing pants that interfered with your performance of the job or were unnecessarily distracting others, he would be right in discussing your dress with you. However, that's not the issue. He's either jealous, or interested, or both.

Best choice is to ignore it, show reasonable restraint in your pants choices without totally changing your dress, and keep moving forward.

BTW, I know that just over 7" isn't huge here, but ANYWHERE else in the world, it's called well hung.

 

[Osiris]

The former HR gal in me concurs with the harassment thing.

The absolute-girl in me pleads with you to skip the pleated pants. JUST SAY NO TO PLEATS!!

Hey, I make them look good though. :wink:

 

[deepdick]

I have to concur with SpeedoGuy. Now something else you may want to try is maybe wearing cargo pants or pleated front khakis. This might help hide the obvious bulge. Jeans tend to be cut for a tighter fit, maybe something looser will help with that.

So hide who you are? I don't think so. IMHO that's like calling us freaks who should stay out of public view.

And talk about double standards, what women get away with regarding bust, clevage and ass these days is WAY beyond what we are talking about here.

Don't give into the crap but don't take any either.

 

[Eva]

...

And talk about double standards, what women get away with regarding bust, clevage and ass these days is WAY beyond what we are talking about here.

...

Blame the HR department. Where I work, cleavage is simply not acceptable and we've sent home several women who wear inappropriately low shirts, blouses, etc. See through? Home. Skirt too short? Home. Hooker heels? Home. Clothes too tight? Home.

I've got a rack on me. Most shirts that are designed with a V or scoop neck will show cleavage on me because I'm sporting cleav 24-7. When I got this job, I invested in a ridiculous assortment of camisoles with adjustable straps so that I could cover my salaciousness. I pretty much have to wear one everyday because even in some regular tees, the neckline hits the border of what is tolerated by our HR policy.

This is a matter for the HR department to solve.

 

[Aitch]

I'd be very tempted to go into work one day with a button badge attached to my flies saying 'Yes, it really is ALL ME!' and watch the blighters blush with embarrassment but I guess that wouldn't be very tactful...

 

[Osiris]

So hide who you are? I don't think so. IMHO that's like calling us freaks who should stay out of public view.

And talk about double standards, what women get away with regarding bust, clevage and ass these days is WAY beyond what we are talking about here.

Don't give into the crap but don't take any either.

I guess in a way, you are right. I know at my work place, I cannot let people, male or female be that revealing. So where I work, it's equal playing field, but you guys are all casual so it is a HUGE gray area on what does and doesn't cross the line... And I would never say some of the cuff remark like your boss did. He is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

I guess since I am a bit hung up on my size issues, I do tend to go the path of hiding it.

Thanks for posing the other side of the argument.:smile:

 

[Bariton]

"did you ever think of going into ballet?"

— "You'll be in the front row then."