The issue here is not really an orientation issue placing one orientation over another as much as it is an issue of unwanted advances.
I don't think that there are many men out there straight or gay that have, by the time they have passed their 50th Birthday, not received at least one offer (in some cases more) from a member of an orientation to which they do not belong.
There have been many studies done with regards to the natural curiosity men have for the genitals of other men. It is not at all an orientation issue on that one. They guy checking out another guy is just as often straight as he is gay.
Unless the person makes a repeated pest out of themselves the attention is in fact a complement that the person receiving the advance is found attractive on a sexual level by that indiviual.
The same thing takes place between married/partnered individuals. There are females who only chase after married men. In the gay community the same thing happens in that there are gay men who chase after men who are already in committed relationships. Then there are the heterosexual male and females who chase after gay males and females thinking that they alone are good enough in the sack to "change them back".
I have been through Bakersfield, California more times than I can count and as far as gay life I would imagine that a gay man in Bakersfield would be a rather lonely gay man at least with regards to meet social peers in numerous public settings. As much as this sounds like a joke, it has an element of serious thinking in that any individual feeling lonely, rejected and or vulnerable will on occasion take idiotic chances.
The other thing that may be happening to bring this about is a comedy of errors brought about by living in an area without a large gay population. People in an area like this tend to look for some kind of "marker" and then being ill informed think that any person who has this single or maybe small group of "markers" is somehow automatically gay. It is stereotyping in the reverse, but again this is based on desperation and not common sense.
I am a gay man that has been permanently partnered for a long time. I have had it from straight females and from other gay guys looking to "fool around". In either case it may be a complement, but it is damn annoying. I find it hilarious these days and just start laughting openly on the rare occasion that this happens.
You just have to keep your cool and don't get mad. Look at this with the good sense of humor you've already shown and laugh at the advance. Humor can both put people off totally because it is unexpected and yet does not offend the individual. Yes, if it persisits after multiple tries, you've got a right to be really direct. Being really direct is not being mad. Being direct is telling the person flat out that you are not a member of the gay orientation and that their repeated advances are disrespectful of you as a person and of your space. It is also disrespectful of gay people because they (the person making the advances) as people are "acting out" a stereotype that the gay community has been wrongly accused of.
Good luck and keep the sense of humor becuase it will get you past this time.
I don't think that there are many men out there straight or gay that have, by the time they have passed their 50th Birthday, not received at least one offer (in some cases more) from a member of an orientation to which they do not belong.
There have been many studies done with regards to the natural curiosity men have for the genitals of other men. It is not at all an orientation issue on that one. They guy checking out another guy is just as often straight as he is gay.
Unless the person makes a repeated pest out of themselves the attention is in fact a complement that the person receiving the advance is found attractive on a sexual level by that indiviual.
The same thing takes place between married/partnered individuals. There are females who only chase after married men. In the gay community the same thing happens in that there are gay men who chase after men who are already in committed relationships. Then there are the heterosexual male and females who chase after gay males and females thinking that they alone are good enough in the sack to "change them back".
I have been through Bakersfield, California more times than I can count and as far as gay life I would imagine that a gay man in Bakersfield would be a rather lonely gay man at least with regards to meet social peers in numerous public settings. As much as this sounds like a joke, it has an element of serious thinking in that any individual feeling lonely, rejected and or vulnerable will on occasion take idiotic chances.
The other thing that may be happening to bring this about is a comedy of errors brought about by living in an area without a large gay population. People in an area like this tend to look for some kind of "marker" and then being ill informed think that any person who has this single or maybe small group of "markers" is somehow automatically gay. It is stereotyping in the reverse, but again this is based on desperation and not common sense.
I am a gay man that has been permanently partnered for a long time. I have had it from straight females and from other gay guys looking to "fool around". In either case it may be a complement, but it is damn annoying. I find it hilarious these days and just start laughting openly on the rare occasion that this happens.
You just have to keep your cool and don't get mad. Look at this with the good sense of humor you've already shown and laugh at the advance. Humor can both put people off totally because it is unexpected and yet does not offend the individual. Yes, if it persisits after multiple tries, you've got a right to be really direct. Being really direct is not being mad. Being direct is telling the person flat out that you are not a member of the gay orientation and that their repeated advances are disrespectful of you as a person and of your space. It is also disrespectful of gay people because they (the person making the advances) as people are "acting out" a stereotype that the gay community has been wrongly accused of.
Good luck and keep the sense of humor becuase it will get you past this time.
