Problems with Gay guys

[GoneA]

This reminds me of another thread: "I have this problem with gay guys: they just won't stop sucking my dick."

lmao ... funniest reply yet.

 

[9775]

Jiminy Christmas, you need to get out more, GoneA.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

Christ this thread looks like what I expected to happen when Peter Tachil(British Gay activist) handcuffed himself to Robert Mugabe(Psycho dictator of Zimbabwae, has a fear of Gay people, gets them beaten to death I think).

 

[B_caneadea]

Jiminy Christmas, you need to get out more, GoneA.

_____________________________________
IGNORE EightySix.
He just joined the LPSG board today and he's trying to get attention by harrassing everyone here.

 

[KinkGuy]

Except that we find him amusing and pathetic. He isn't getting the response he really wants. Cuz' no one will fuck him.

 

[SL65///AMG]

DinkGuy, I think your underwear has holes in it

 

[SL65///AMG]

invisibleman- So the way to try and throw heat, is to accuse someone of being gay... and then they reitterate that they arent... so you force the issue.. and then the straight guy laughs at the numerous attempts at the homosexuals at self-vindication from their past on a penis website... you end up with nothign but a loose ass and some hurt feelings Ironically futile.

 

[Matthew]

DinkGuy, I think your underwear has holes in it

Yup, he definitely wants the cock.

 

[Lex]

What ChimeraTX is referencing is an article by the Onion that I have posted here many times:

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

By Bruce Heffernan

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything--I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too--big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.

Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."

I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, then I've got a real problem.

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!

What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?

Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?

It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife--even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.

Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.

I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, neck, chest and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?

I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures--like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct that that.​

 

[invisibleman]

invisibleman- So the way to try and throw heat, is to accuse someone of being gay... and then they reitterate that they arent... so you force the issue.. and then the straight guy laughs at the numerous attempts at the homosexuals at self-vindication from their past on a penis website... you end up with nothign but a loose ass and some hurt feelings Ironically futile.

SL, You wish. You know you're gay. I smell it all over you, kiddo. You know the delicious pleasures of prostate pleasure. You're not fooling anyone. The only thing that is ironic is that you're gay and it is futile that you would get even a proposition by a LPSG member. That's the appeal of it for you. You create this facade of hete-role play. Talking about how you're straight and how you don't wanna get plugged. In some strange way, you end up with some Canuck Moose stud's noodle up in you. What it means for you, Scooby is a clear (or queer) case of: your mind says" NO", your body( or in your case--booty) says, "HELL YES!" scenario. And you say that my ass loose?
Your old lady knows your secret. Now, you gonna take it out on gay people because you can't deal with your gay feelings. It is all right, Scooby. You can be gay. One day, you'll have a steady boyfriend. He'll be giving you the Scooby Snacks (Noodle and Meatball Streudel). It'll be "RAWFULLY GOOD" for you. Free your mind, Scooby. You've entered THE GAYTRIX. The Agents of Ass Destruction are after you. It is inevitable. Hehehehehe.

 

[Lex]

Arguing about someone's sexual orientation on a mesage board is futile. People accept or reject labels as they choose and can't be forced to call themselves something against their own will. Can we chill out (or take the argument to PMs)? Thanks.

 

[B_Spladle]

SL, You wish. You know you're gay. I smell it all over you, kiddo. You know the delicious pleasures of prostate pleasure. You're not fooling anyone. The only thing that is ironic is that you're gay and it is futile that you would get even a proposition by a LPSG member. That's the appeal of it for you. You create this facade of hete-role play. Talking about how you're straight and how you don't wanna get plugged. In some strange way, you end up with some Canuck Moose stud's noodle up in you. What it means for you, Scooby is a clear (or queer) case of: your mind says" NO", your body( or in your case--booty) says, "HELL YES!" scenario. And you say that my ass loose?
Your old lady knows your secret. Now, you gonna take it out on gay people because you can't deal with your gay feelings. It is all right, Scooby. You can be gay. One day, you'll have a steady boyfriend. He'll be giving you the Scooby Snacks (Noodle and Meatball Streudel). It'll be "RAWFULLY GOOD" for you. Free your mind, Scooby. You've entered THE GAYTRIX. The Agents of Ass Destruction are after you. It is inevitable. Hehehehehe.

I must have laughed out loud for ten seconds straight. Good post.

 

[B_Spladle]

Can we chill out (or take the argument to PMs)?

In general I would take your advice, but we're really doing this guy a favor, you see. I think he gets off on humiliation. Probably that's one of the reasons he joined this website. He wants some big, burly man with a foot-long dick to fuck him up the ass and tell him what a little bitch he is.

 

[GoneA]

Arguing about someone's sexual orientation on a mesage board is futile. People accept or reject labels as they choose and can't be forced to call themselves something against their own will. Can we chill out (or take the argument to PMs)? Thanks.

...just to reiterate this point...

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

SL, You wish. You know you're gay. I smell it all over you, kiddo. You know the delicious pleasures of prostate pleasure. You're not fooling anyone. The only thing that is ironic is that you're gay and it is futile that you would get even a proposition by a LPSG member. That's the appeal of it for you. You create this facade of hete-role play. Talking about how you're straight and how you don't wanna get plugged. In some strange way, you end up with some Canuck Moose stud's noodle up in you. What it means for you, Scooby is a clear (or queer) case of: your mind says" NO", your body( or in your case--booty) says, "HELL YES!" scenario. And you say that my ass loose?
Your old lady knows your secret. Now, you gonna take it out on gay people because you can't deal with your gay feelings. It is all right, Scooby. You can be gay. One day, you'll have a steady boyfriend. He'll be giving you the Scooby Snacks (Noodle and Meatball Streudel). It'll be "RAWFULLY GOOD" for you. Free your mind, Scooby. You've entered THE GAYTRIX. The Agents of Ass Destruction are after you. It is inevitable. Hehehehehe.

Visi, you still got it, baby!

 

[B_Hickboy]

Problems with gay guys? Never.

 

[Matthew]

...just to reiterate this point...

Step aside. I'd hate to see you caught in the crossfire.

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Arguing about someone's sexual orientation on a mesage board is futile.

Invisibleman's post was amusing, but I agree with Lex. One of my favourite quotes, courtesy of our missing Indian jonb: Arguing on the Internet is like running in the Special Olympics: even if you win, you're still retarded.

 

[invisibleman]

Yeah, I understand. This IS so much fun though.

 

[invisibleman]

Step aside. I'd hate to see you caught in the crossfire.

Don't worry GoneA--I have my female Sniper Unit guarding your place.