I have a friend who is very near and dear to me, and from time to time we fool around. On more then one occasion we have tried to take it a bit further and have anal sex but it is very painfull to me. He is round about 8" long with a 6" girth which isn't huge, but it feels more like he is shoving a road cone up my ass. I have tried various different ways to "loosen" up but all of them result in very painfull results. I have never been very receptive in that area. Guys much smaller than this guy have been terribly painfull. I am really wanting to find a way to over come this. Anyone here have any advice?
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- Thread starter talliman98
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The most important thing is DESIRE--you have to want it, and want it BAD. You have to work yoruself up to that point. It seems you already have some hangups in this area already--you are NOT relaxing. There is always some intial pain, or "burning", but this should dissapate fairly quickly if you are truly ready for it. You have to get your head around the experience before you do anything else. Then, the best reccomendation I can give you is to buy yourself several sizes of dildos, culminationg in one that is the same size or larger than your friend. I reccomend also making all or most of them the vibrating kind as well. That will help force the sphincter muscle to relax. Work up in size, not going to the next size until the one you are at is comfortable, or at least isn;t painful. Lots and lots and lots of lube--too much isn't enough, if you are just beginning. Also, taking a long hot bath will help, too. Stay warm. If there are things you do in life to relax, do those first. Some people have a beer, some smoke a joint, whatever works for you. But I can't emphasize enough the absolute NEED for you to REALLY WANT IT BAD. If you don't, you won;t enjoy the experience, period. You may be able to do it without that desire, but you won't enjoy it. Good Luck!
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Talliman,
Some men are simply not "made" to be bottoms. If it is something YOU really wanna do though (not because of pressure from your partner) then there are a few things you can try.
Tons and Tons of lube helps. have your partner finger you. One finger first, and when that's feeling comfortable, have him move up to two. Slowly have him work his way up to three. If he can get three in, and it's comfortable for you, he should be OK to try his penis.
If, however, you really don't want to be fucked, it's NEVER going to work. It has to be something that you really want.
Some men are simply not "made" to be bottoms. If it is something YOU really wanna do though (not because of pressure from your partner) then there are a few things you can try.
Tons and Tons of lube helps. have your partner finger you. One finger first, and when that's feeling comfortable, have him move up to two. Slowly have him work his way up to three. If he can get three in, and it's comfortable for you, he should be OK to try his penis.
If, however, you really don't want to be fucked, it's NEVER going to work. It has to be something that you really want.
As other have said, use plenty of lube, and start out with something small and slender. Have him lube you up using just a finger. Have hime work the finger up toward your prostate, like the doctor when he examines it. After a little while, he can start using two fingers, working them around and apart a little. Pretty soon you'll be begging him for the real thing. You can also use an assortment of butt plugs, in various diameters, to loosen yourself up when he isn't around. If you relax, and really want it, it will happen. Just look at those adult videos that really DO have a road cone up someone's butt...
Hope you BOTH enjoy working up to it.
BTW, does he let you fuck him? After all, one "hand" washes the other...
I've got to agree with the boys here. I know a lot of women that tried anal sex once, it hurt, and they have sworn it off forever. I personally love it, and I had to slowly work up to it. Fortunately, my first partner was bi and would bottom from time to time, so he knew what to do so it wasn't unpleasant even the first time.
Also, you have to know in yourself if it's something you want to do because it turns you on or if it's something you're doing for your guy. If it's just for the guy, you may never like it. That's a big thing to figure out.
I don't know if men are told this, but young women are told all the time to get to know their bodies solo so that they know what they like and how they like it so they can show their partners and just generally know what their sexual response is like. I think if you masturbate with some anal toys and whatever else gets you going, you'll feel a lot less pressured when you're with your guy because you know your body's response.
The more you worry about it, the harder it's going to be. I agree that a drink or whatever to relax might be in order. Maybe a few drinks. :smile:
Also, you have to know in yourself if it's something you want to do because it turns you on or if it's something you're doing for your guy. If it's just for the guy, you may never like it. That's a big thing to figure out.
I don't know if men are told this, but young women are told all the time to get to know their bodies solo so that they know what they like and how they like it so they can show their partners and just generally know what their sexual response is like. I think if you masturbate with some anal toys and whatever else gets you going, you'll feel a lot less pressured when you're with your guy because you know your body's response.
The more you worry about it, the harder it's going to be. I agree that a drink or whatever to relax might be in order. Maybe a few drinks. :smile:
Thanks, I will keep trying. It is something that I really want or else I wouldn't be asking 
To answer husky, yes he does let me take it to him on occasion (last night actually!) but I try not to do it often at least not until I can return the favor.
One last question. What type of lube is the best to use? I was thinking about trying the KY warming liquid but I have heard mixed reviews. (Keep in mind that I don;t have much money so I can't buy the really expensive lubes that most sex stores have to offer.) Up until this point it has been baby lotion.
To answer husky, yes he does let me take it to him on occasion (last night actually!) but I try not to do it often at least not until I can return the favor. One last question. What type of lube is the best to use? I was thinking about trying the KY warming liquid but I have heard mixed reviews. (Keep in mind that I don;t have much money so I can't buy the really expensive lubes that most sex stores have to offer.) Up until this point it has been baby lotion.
you absolutely need a good lube---it is your butt--you can afford the good stuff. Both of you chip in--it is worth it. Astroglide, WET, Wet platinum, etc. are some good choices. Ask Lex in a PM--I think he can give you some great pointers on lube and technique, and won't BS you at all. Most water based lubes dry out quicker that the oil or other based lubes, but usually only the water based lubes are compatable with latex condoms-the others can cause the latex to break down, rendering them ineffective. Most adult stores I have seen have small sample sizes of different types of lube--get several different tyes, and experiment to find what works best for you. Often gay bars will have condoms and lube in sample sizes as well, which you can get for free. Everybody is different, and you need to find what works best for YOU---this can be a long term project, so cost shouldn;t be a major factor. Unless you are homeless and living in the gutter, I suspect you can afford $20 for a small to medium bottle of lube now and then. You can get lube from the net, if the adult stores in your area are raping you on the price. There are always alternatives. Good luck!!
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