Produce?

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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With what vegetable(s) or fruit(s) have you...ahem...had experiences? Please list the item and the experience. We'll get into household sodomy later.
lebanese%20cucumber%2063D.jpg
 

D_alex8

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The obvious (sodomising) ones... zucchinis, cucumbers, and carrots. Although the first two looked more phallic, it was actually the carrots that were most pleasing, partly because they taper, which lets you insert them much more easily, and also because they are that bit firmer, giving a more intense feeling of their presence within. But this was years ago, when I was still busy improvising with whatever vaguely-insertable objects I found around the house. :smile:
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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alex8 said:
The obvious (sodomising) ones... zucchinis, cucumbers, and carrots. Although the first two looked more phallic, it was actually the carrots that were most pleasing, partly because they taper, which lets you insert them much more easily, and also because they are that bit firmer, giving a more intense feeling of their presence within. But this was years ago, when I was still busy improvising with whatever vaguely-insertable objects I found around the house. :smile:

Oh Alex. You're cute, smart, you have a hot bod, a big cock AND a hungry ass! I think you're my dream man.

The reason I asked this question is that two weeks ago I decided to see exactly how much I could take up the ass. With all this ass talk, my ass really doesn't see a lot of action. It's usually the other way around. My BF is really big too. I eyeballed two cucumbers in the supermarket. When I got home and measured them, one was 8x6 (my length, a little thinner) and the other was 9x7 (longer and thicker). I had to relax a lot and got the 8x6 up my ass. My BF is about 9x5.5. OK, now came the really huge one. To make a long story short, an inch went in where it was thinner. I couldn't get it in my ass. I'm apparently not loose enough. Try as I might, there was just no way. Unless I resort to some stretching exercises, I have my answer.

Oh yeah, carrots were fun too back in the day...
 

RideRocket

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Sorcerer said:
Oh yeah, carrots were fun too back in the day...

Ok, I had to laugh because even though I consider my rear end exit only, if you want to put things in there, then to each his own. But your comment (and Alex's) about the carrots made me crack up.

It was like, "Oh you use carrots? Hmmmph - amateur! When you 'graduate' to real produce, call me!"

Anyway, thought I would share my mental conversation...

______________
eggplant anyone?
 

D_alex8

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Actually, whenever I came back from grocery shopping, my ex used to assess how phallic the vegetables I'd bought were... I think he believed I had a fixation. Tsk, the very suggestion :rolleyes:
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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RideRocket said:
Ok, I had to laugh because even though I consider my rear end exit only, if you want to put things in there, then to each his own. But your comment (and Alex's) about the carrots made me crack up.

It was like, "Oh you use carrots? Hmmmph - amateur! When you 'graduate' to real produce, call me!"

Anyway, thought I would share my mental conversation...

______________
eggplant anyone?

But you don't have to be gay to answer this: have you ever sodomized a woman with a piece of produce?
 

RideRocket

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Sorcerer said:
But you don't have to be gay to answer this: have you ever sodomized a woman with a piece of produce?

Unfortunately I have yet to have that experience. However, I will freely admit to the double standard of liking anal sex with a girl but not for me.
:smile:
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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alex8 said:
Actually, whenever I came back from grocery shopping, my ex used to assess how phallic the vegetables I'd bought were... I think he believed I had a fixation. Tsk, the very suggestion :rolleyes:

I used to grocery shop with a fag hag friend of mine and we'd talk about all the men we'd dated. She had to get Vienna Sausages to describe one...
 

D_alex8

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Sorcerer said:
What's wrong with cheese?

I place it in the same category as onions, garlic or chillies --- overly-aromatic things that are fine in their own right, but have no reason to be let loose near an erection. :rolleyes: ...unless it's someone you really need to take out a little vengeance on, in which case chillies can of course serve a useful purpose.
 

D_Elijah_MorganWood

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alex8 said:
I place it in the same category as onions, garlic or chillies --- overly-aromatic things that are fine in their own right, but have no reason to be let loose near an erection. :rolleyes: ...unless it's someone you really need to take out a little vengeance on, in which case chillies can of course serve a useful purpose.

...you've got to be twisted...by the force...you've gotta be shaken...by the wind...in the games that you play with God...you fall to your knees....