Promiscuity Survey

[theplayerking]

Which best describes your level of promiscuity when NOT in a relationship and NON-Covid times? Has your promiscuity level changed? If so, what do you think caused the change? Are you in a relationship with someone that has a different promiscuity level? If so, how do you manage the differences in outlook?

Abstinent: No sexual activity for whatever reason including medical, emotional, etc.

Serial monogamist: Sex with someone only after several dates and with the potential for a relationship; never done a three-way and would not consider going to a bathhouse; will only bareback in a long-term, committed relationship, if at all

Reluctant player: Prefers sex with known partners (even if a fuck buddy) but will engage in one-time hookups on occasion (once or twice a year at most) if the opportunity presents itself and the guy is really hot; may have done a three-way a long time ago, but wasn’t really into it and unlikely to do it again; wishes he were a serial monogamist (and definitely wants his friends to think he is), but accepts that a guy has needs

Occasional cruiser: Pursues casual sex only when horny, maybe a couple of times a month; will go to a bathhouse (preferably when traveling) but will only play in a private room and usually leaves immediately after cumming; might do an occasional super-discreet three-way, but uncomfortable in a group; possibly on PrEP, but doesn’t always bareback with casual hookups

Active cruiser: Pursues sex for recreation (or as a hobby); highly active on apps or known hookup locations (like bookstores); enjoys curated groups, sex parties and bathhouses; has been (or would like to go) on sex vacations (to an event, resort or city) where casual sex is the primary attraction; willing to play casually with almost any reasonably attractive guy; prefers to play bareback and is likely on (or would like to be on PrEP) or undetectable

Sex pig: Engages in as much sex as possible; near permanent ads online; prefers quantity over quality and not especially selective in the attractiveness of partners; definitely on PrEP or undetectable

 

[deleted1149118]

SM. Done hookups in the past, instant wave of regret. Both genders.

 

[deleted1074483]

SM. Like @S65 done hookups in the past (and once a threesome but wasn't planned) didn't 'regret' it as such but hookups whilst nice at the time just don't really do anything for me - prefer the sex with someone i know and am 'into' as a person rather than just as a 'hot' body

 

[LPSG Simon]

I guess NOT in a relationship is important to remember. People often have different types of sex in / out of their relationships - that's an important aspect.

But also the type of sex could also be divided. Ie someone could be a reluctant player when it comes to known contacts, but they might haunt various cruising spots once a day for anonymous sex.

 

[theplayerking]

But also the type of sex could also be divided. Ie someone could be a reluctant player when it comes to known contacts, but they might haunt various cruising spots once a day for anonymous sex.

To me, it’s the frequency and quantity that count. This hypothetical person that looks for anonymous sex every day sounds like a discrete Active Cruiser. Reluctant Players often disapprove of casual hookups, but will indulge if horny enough and under the right circumstances.

Indeed, I think most Active Cruisers are discrete and their friends don’t know what they get up to in the bushes or the bathhouse.

 

[bellybama]

Two drinks in, I'm still a monogomist.

Two bottles in, and I'm open for business.

Covid changed a lot of that. (The sex, not the drinking. I just yell at the tv instead.)

 

[LICNYCgay]

I find these categories overly simplistic. I don’t really fit in any category. I don’t use hookup apps and I don’t bareback, at least not frequently. But I do attend sex parties regularly and while there I try to get as many cocks up my ass as I can. Of course, with COVID, I’m currently in the “Abstinent” category. When this is over, I think I’ll be downright piggy about it.

 

[MancmanMatt]

I don't really understand the explanations that accompany the descriptions. At least once we get to the point where people like having casual sex. Frequency and intention is what's important, not the activities.

Pre Covid I would actively search for people to have sex with every single day. But they have to be reasonably attractive. I also take safe sex and STD prevention very seriously. I don't do sex parties, sex vacations/cruises, or really enjoy three ways. Nor do I do any outdoor cruising. Technically I don't quality for the active cruiser option but that's what I am.

 

[elklindoxxx]

My partner and I do foursomes with select couples and practice safe sex at all times. We DO NOT bareback with any other couples. If you are barebacking with other people then you're asking for trouble....

 

[HorseHung40's]

Although I would fall into the "occasional cruiser" category, I do have a stable of men in different cities whom I can call for sex, when I am in town.

 

[North Nudist]

Sex pig. Around 2000 guys and counting (pre-covid!)

 

[deleted3155011]

Although I would fall into the "occasional cruiser" category, I do have a stable of men in different cities whom I can call for sex, when I am in town.

And you are only '20%' gay???

 

[indyfrat79]

Sex pig. Around 2000 guys and counting (pre-covid!)

Nice man! SO many sexy men. Why limit yourself?

 

[malakos]

Which best describes your level of promiscuity when NOT in a relationship and NON-Covid times?

I had already been celibate for over a year before the year of quarantine began.

Has your promiscuity level changed?

I figure you probably mean over the course of my life, independent of the circumstances of quarantine.

I was never especially promiscuous, but there have been minor shades of change in several year phases. The first several of my adult years were strictly monogamous (i.e. just one person throughout). After that relationship ended, I spent several years slightly active, roughly under the "reluctant player" model. But eventually my old disgust at casual sex caught up with me. I came to terms with the fact that some of my "friendships" were really more about sex than anything else, and allowed those connections to whither. I haven't concerned myself with hooking up or dating for the past few years.

If so, what do you think caused the change?

The strict monogamy arose because I found someone I wanted to be with, and monogamy matched both of our values. The shift towards being marginally promiscuous afterward flowed from being "free" and having some fantasies I was interested in exploring. But I found the whole thing ultimately unfulfilling, which is why I just gave up on it and transitioned to celibacy. I feel better about myself and my life as a consequence of refocusing my mental energies. The things I spend more time on now are far more satisfying and edifying than the awkwardness of screwing around with the people I fooled myself into thinking were friends (to be clear, I'm not suggesting here that I was mistreated; I had been fooling myself both about their intentions but also my own; I was naive to the fact that the "fwb" dynamic is almost always just a semi-stable ongoing hookup, not a real friendship). I might make efforts to move away from celibacy at some point, but if so, it will probably only be for going back to serious dating. Hooking up is just kinda depressing to me.

 

[LICNYCgay]

And you are only '20%' gay???

Uh, actually, he's 80% gay.