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Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Ezdras Dingledonger, Sep 7, 2010.
You're welcome to it, as it's one of my favorites, just remember where it came from :wink:
And not an attractive one at that.
I have this friend who is a professional woman. She is absolutely gorgeous and I've had a crush on her for years now. But she is, in some people's minds, a slut. She broadcasts her sexuality and always did when we worked together in a place where many people thought it was inappropriate. Many people used to make comments behind her back about her behavior. But I was her friend, and I knew her pretty well. And there was more to her than her huge boobs, sassiness and drop dead gorgeous looks. She was incredibly self confident. And she not only flaunted her sexuality, but she owned it.
And maybe it was too much sometimes. But I tell you, she just broke up with a boyfriend she had for about a year, and I would say that if we lived near each other any more and if she said even jokingly to me that she would want to have a fling, I would jump in with two feet without hesitation.
Because the reality is, slut or not, a sexually confident woman is an incredibly powerful thing.
Book a plane flight
Have some fun
I was a teenage whore. The usual years of about 15 to 21 were fairly promiscuous for me. I'd like to say it was all about my love for sex (and that was certainly a big part of it) but in reality it was also a way to feel loved, even if only for 15 minutes by a teenage boy.
I had another promiscuous phase heading into 40 and that was solely for the pleasure of sex. I was not looking for a relationship, just a LOT of FUN sex. I was so not looking for a relationship, one sneaked up and bit me on the ass! And in fact, never before had I met so many "keeper" type of guys until I really didn't want one.
My earlier phase was not so empowering and being in High School, my reputation was awful. It was part of the reason I started fucking whoever I wanted- I lost my rep before my virginity. If I was going to enjoy the title of slut, I might as well be enjoying the activity! During my recent "hedonism", I was old enough to avoid the term "slut" and instead was viewed as a "cougar".
Wow, this is a complicated question.
My entire life I've tried my hardest not to feel guilty because of how much I hate the double standard, but I haven't succeeded 100%. Regardless, I've tried to behave as if I don't feel any guilt.
I was very promiscuous when I was 21-23 years old, but I was mostly looking for Mr. Right. I was doing both, seeking Mr. Right but in the meantime, I was fine with seeking sexual gratification. I had a few fuckbuddies during that time and some one night stands, but I've always preferred to stay with one partner. Not only do I have much more frequent sex when I have a regular partner, the sex just keeps getting better and better. My 21st year I had more sex partners than I've ever had, and I consider it the sexual low point in my life. I think I had less sex and less satisfying sex that year than any other year! So, I'm not one who thinks that promiscuity offers much sexual gratification. I've always preferred serial monogamy over promiscuity. It's more fulfilling to me in every single way.
When I was promiscuous, I did not feel like I should feel guilty, but at the same time, I've always cared about discretion because I didn't want to gain a bad reputation. I also hate it when people gossip about me. Some of the worst problems I had when I was younger had to do with juicy rumors involving "sexual escapades" about me with various men, most of them either totally untrue or a much racier and colorful version of the truth. Just the suspicion of sexual promiscuity has turned my life upside down a few times, teaching me a valuable lesson about how much I ought to care about discretion and avoid drama.
I think feeling desired has always had a positive effect on my self-esteem. Any guilt I've felt has left my self-esteem unaffected, I think.
I was hugely promiscuous from about 16 til my mid-20s. And I loved it. I have always been a very sexual person with an insatiable appetite. I love men of all types - fat, thin, tall, short with all their varying equipment. I enjoy porn and enjoy erotica. I have never had enough. To paraphrase Mae West, 'sex with someone you love is incredible. Sex with anyone else is pretty damn good too.'
However, I am now in a long period of celibacy. I want something a little more meaningful. Not necessarily love, but some affection. But I am much older now and while my desires haven't changed, my focus has. So I satisfy my drives through masturbation, posting pics, writing erotic fiction etc. A FB would probably do it for me, but finding one I actually like and who likes me, has proven a challenge.
With all that being said... I will never tell anyone what my "numbers" are. I have been rejected by men who felt I was too experienced. Small towns & cities are the worst. I have had many men who would eagerly fuck me, but never consider being seen with me in public. Hypocrites.
But do I regret it? Nope. Not one experience. Don't regret being rejected based on my hypersexuality. I like who I am, and I know that I'm more than a collection of body parts & sexual skill. I will always love sex and I am a proud (if slightly furtive) hedonist.
We women are a complicated bunch. We may have relatively guilt-free sex, but still shy away from the label of slut. A double standard still exists - at least in my part of the world.
I saw this and had to at least post a little something in reply. I was "secretly" blogging about this, but recently deleted it all because I was getting too many creeps messaging me.
First of all, liking/wanting sex in no way means that you are slutty. Even larger numbers of partners doesn't imply it. I was a late bloomer and didn't become sexually active until 18y/o. I am now 23 was in two 2year relationships that I did not cheat on my partner and my "number" is 16.
Doesn't seem too bad until you do the math. I am a considerably permiscuous person. I have an insatiable sex drive and enjoy having it very much. Luckily I can easily seperate love and sex.. I don't get attached to the people I sleep with and more often than not can walk away with a big smile and a sense of accomplishment.
It's not like I share my number with everyone. Most of my BF's never ask it so I never really tell.
Can it really be slutty if no one knows.. That's the question I suppose.
I'm also able to easily separate love and sex. I mentioned that I kind of look for Mr. Right, but I do that in my more standard social life/social situations, rather than my FBs and such. And really, I'm not so sure there really is a Mr. Right out there for me. I actually did meet a guy once who might've been if I'd met him several years before I did. We were never more than platonic friends though, because he was married and I don't knowingly go after married men. Still, I think of what if I'd met him before he met his wife... but who knows?
Another thing I will clarify about my previous post a couple of posts back, about my having partners of different races. I don't consider that all that weird, but I come from a type of background and community, and family, where That Just Isn't Done. I never understood the big deal. I don't specifically go after guys of different races, and I don't specifically "stick to my own kind", so to speak, either. For me it's more about the guy than the race (well, ok it's also about the size, but well-endowed guys come in all races!)
No, was not redcell.
What happened to Slant? Why did he disappear?
There is so much putrefaction and slime underneath panties that never come off unless Society says they are allowed to be off...
I was promiscuous I guess, as I was in a long term relationship with 2 partners at the same time. Then I decided to settle down and choose one. My left hand and I are very happy to this day.
When you see a ridiculous name like that, it is generally a sign that the account has been "closed" at the request of the member.
I miss Slant....