prospective boyfriend help?

[Hockeytiger]

A few things. One is he didn't lie to you. He was honest. Now it is totally up to you to figure out what it is he is doing, and whether or not you have ANY tolerance for it.

In my own case, I'd let him go. I have no tolerance for any drug whatsoever.

Some may say pot is OK with them, if it's OK with you that is your choice.

I'd definitely talk to him more about it, but one thing I will say is at the very least he didn't try to cover up and lie.

Stephen really hits the nail on the head here. Pro-he didn't lie to you. Con-He does drugs and you don't care for that.

All of our partners do things that irritate or bother us. We all have character flaws. But I'd like you to think about the following points.

1) Does he need drugs to have a good time?

2) Do drugs come into play in regards to sex? (You may not know that yet.)

3) You said that he goes with the crowd. If you are going to date him, are you comfortable with that crowd?

 

[Beanie]

hey guys just to keep you updated with this; i havent been about to get online for a few weeks so i havent been on here, but over the past few weeks the two of us have grown closer and the drugs thing does not seem like an issue really.

but like i said we have grow closer and started having sex etc. and i decided it was time so i asked him out, properly to be my boyfriend and he declined me. he told me that because of bad experiences in the past that he hasnt gone into detail really with me about, he just wants to take things slow, but i dont understand if he wants to take things slow why are we "friends with benefits"??

i really dont know what to do here; should i wait for the trust to build in the hope of us getting together some times soon rather than me getting emotionally involved but he just cant reciprocate?
or do i tell him straight that im here for him, im interested, if he wants me then he ust has to take a leap of faith and trust me, after all how else is he expecting to move on from this?

any help is appreciated guys, thanks.

 

[Beanie]

bump

 

[Beanie]

anyone?

 

[B_bflr]

anyone?

Beanie, the guy used you. Seems he's just, for whatever reason, looking to please himself, and isn't up for a committed relationship like what you want.

He's into drugs, he's not into commitment. You have problems with both. No point putting conditions on him based on what you've already observed.

Respect yourself. Move on. Better than to talk yourself into settling for less and then have many many more regrets to come. You're 20 (says your profile), you've got a long life ahead of you. Consider this a good lesson learned and move on.

It's a new year. How about a resolution not to settle or compromise your standards? You'll be alright.

Best wishes to you.

 

[Beanie]

thats what i was afraid of...

i did talk to my friends about this before coming on here, and funnily enough they said pretty much the same thing as you are. i think im going to have to tel him that if hes not ready to have a relationship with me then i need to move on...