Prostate Cancer

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by Lowhangersau, Dec 19, 2007.

  1. Lowhangersau

    Lowhangersau Member

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    A year ago I was diagnosed with PC - had the operation (nerve sparring and all that !). My issue is that almost no-one understands the difference with a person who is basically the "passive sexual" identity. One (amongst many anal joys) was being able to put my balls up my arse and "auto fuck" myself. Absolutley loved being fucked etc. Now there is NO feeling at all. My sex life is now non - existent - it so depressing. (I'm in a relationship but, have lost all my libido which is so hard on my partner).

    Has anyone been through this??
     
  2. Krusader

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    my god, im so sad to hear that :(
     
  3. B_theOtherJJ

    B_theOtherJJ New Member

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    Dear Low,

    I recently had a prostate cancer "scare" but thank God evrything is OK. I can understand your feelings, and also your concern for your partner. I was in a 22 yr relationship.

    All I can add here is that you should be thankful you have survived and can continue to share time with your partner. I know it is a strain, but if you truly have LOVE, you can work thru things and have a very happy life..

    Just enjoy your time, dont dwell on the sex thing. you might have to make some sexual adjustments, but you still can experience a very fulfilling love-life with your partner. Be creative.

    God Bless, and continued Good health to you.

    Alyn - NYC
     
  4. Mzhammer

    Mzhammer <img border="0" src="http://www.lpsg.org/images36/

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    You could take testosterone pills to increase your libido, that is most likely what you are lacking now as the testicles make a ton of it.
     
  5. midlifebear

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    Lowhangersau:

    Boy, howdy, this is a rough subject most men don't even want to think about, but we're stupid if we don't educate ourselves about it early and start getting checked regularly when we turn 40. To Hell with the idea that no one needs to be concerned with PSA tests and having a digital exam until they are 50! Dan Fogleberg (sp?) just died of advanced PC this last December and he was 53? Frank Zappa died of it at 50? At this very moment my squeeze's favorite uncle is wasting away on a morphine drip in a provincial hospital in Neuquen, Argentina, because his physician insisted that at 46 my squeeze's uncle wasn&#8217;t considered &#8220;at risk?&#8221; By the time his GP thought to check, the PC had invaded his lymph glands, liver, and kidneys. It's too late for him. So, first, despite the depression (which I personally have wrestled with) realize that you're damn lucky to be alive.

    I not only "feel" your pain. I know from personal experience what you&#8217;re going through. I was diagnosed almost exactly a year ago with Stage One PC and underwent treatment last April. But trust me, your libido will most likely return. Other parts of the endocrine system, not just your prostate gland, also produce testosterone. It will, however, take time.

    If you had your prostate gland surgically removed with one of the newly refined "nerve sparing" procedures, there's no question you'll never enjoy that general hot sensation you liked so much when on the receiving end of anal intercourse. Your prostate is gone. And you'll most likely need at least a year, post surgery, to recover enough to once again enjoy the general sensation of comfortable anal sex. Believe me when I say there is more than just hope in your future. After all, women don't have prostate glands and I've known/I know a good number of them who really get off on deep anal penetration.

    As for your libido, no doubt your urologist/surgeon-type person/team gave you at least one, if not two, injections of a testosterone suppressing drug. An interesting thing about Stage One and most Stage Two prostate cancer is that as long as the body doesn't produce any testosterone the cancer doesn't grow. Those hormone suppressing drugs (chemicals) can continue to work much longer than the predicted &#8220;average&#8221; of three-to-six months. If you&#8217;re still having the occasional hot flash (yes, ladies, men get them too) you can pretty much bank on the fact that your liver has not completely washed the drug(s) from your system. It takes time.
     
  6. midlifebear

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    (continued from previous post)

    The suggestion that you can take testosterone replacement therapy isn&#8217;t exactly great advice. If there is the slightest chance there are any cancer cells left &#8211; from possible extrusions from your prostate that came in contact with other tissues (including nerve tissue), beginning testosterone replacement therapy can act like throwing gasoline on smoldering ashes. The cancer can flair up (it&#8217;s a slight risk, but a real one) and now that you haven&#8217;t a prostate it will be even more difficult to detect. You&#8217;re over the worst part. Your body&#8217;s autoimmune system should now be tough enough to fight off any small cancer cells, if there are any. After two years of being cancer-free, then you might want to talk with your urologist about hormone replacement therapy. Even then, you have better options available to boost your libido (which is at least 90&#37; imagination and probably 5% or less hormonal).

    If your urologist/surgeon has not offered you a prescription for the famous &#8220;little blue pills&#8221; or similar medication then you should broach the subject and insist for one until he relents. Unless your urologist is gay, no doubt he or she will be very uncomfortable about discussing anal sex. Actually, (personal experience mixed with opinion here) most urologists in countries where English is the primary language tend to treat any discussion about sex &#8211; gay or straight &#8211; as something they would prefer to avoid. As for Australia, I cannot comment, but I&#8217;ve found this to be generally true (note, not always) in the USA, Canada, and the UK. Therefore, if you live in or are near a major metropolitan area, ask around and try to find a gay urologist. They do exist. Once you do, insist your regular urologist give you a written referral to meet the gay one. You might also want to find yourself a gay proctologist while you&#8217;re at it. They exist, too. My cousin is one and he practices in the Intermountain West in one of the most sexually repressive states in the USA. Of course, just because you have lined up a bunch of gay medical professional who are more in-tune with your sexual needs doesn&#8217;t guarantee you&#8217;ll receive 100% perfect advice. It does, however, increase your chances for feeling better about yourself and becoming sexually active again.

    Finally, you didn&#8217;t mention the complete circumstances of your medical treatment. Have you also had external or internal radiation treatment, any problem voiding, have you achieved an orgasm yet, was there any ejaculate, etc.? It&#8217;s all important. What I hope I&#8217;ve done here is just paint broad, positive strokes about the subject. No doubt you&#8217;re depressed. You should be. Just realize that it will eventually pass. I also hope I&#8217;ve caught the attention of as many men as possible &#8211; gay or straight &#8211; about the need to keep on top (no pun intended) of this very serious, very real men&#8217;s medical issue.

    If you want to chat more, send me a note and we can hook up via e-mail.

    I wish you nothing but the best, shooting long-range karmic bullets your way,

    Mr. Midlifebear (getting it up for a proper rodgering almost six months now ;-)
     
  7. McGregor

    McGregor New Member

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    Here is a resource that I found for you ....


    American Self-help Sourcebook
    Search Term = 'prostate cancer'

    Patient Advocates for Advanced Cancer Treatments (PAACT)
    http://www.paactusa.org
    Provides support and advocacy for prostate cancer patients, their families and the general public at risk. Infromation relative to the advancements in the detection, diagnosis, evaluation and treatment of prostate cancer. Information, referrals, phone help, conferences, quarterly newsletter. Group development guidelines.

    US TOO International Prostate Cancer Education and Support Network
    http://www.ustoo.org
    Education and support provided for men and their families with fellowship, peer counseling. Timely, personalized, unbiased, and reliable information about prostate cancer. Monthly newsletter distributed through support groups and also on website.

    MaleCare
    http://malecare.org
    Professionally-run. Prostate Cancer Support Groups, newly diagnosed cancer support groups, advanced prostate cancer, men diagnosed under age 50 & gay cancer survivor support groups throughout the United States.

    Advanced Prostate Cancer
    http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/advancedprostatecancer
    Professionally-run. Support for advanced prostate cancer and recurrent prostate cancer. Treatment information and support for men with prostate cancer that did not respond adequately to primary treatment and PSA is rising after initial prostate cancer treatment.

    Gay Men and Prostate Cancer
    http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/gaymenandprostatecancer
    Professionally run. Support for gay men diagnosed with prostate cancer. Safe-place to talk about ones fears and expectations about the process, diagnosis, treatment and afterwards.

    Prostate Cancer under 50
    http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/prostatecancerunder50
    Professionally-run. Support for men under the age of 50 and diagnosed with prostate. Provides a forum for younger men with prostate cancer to ask their questions and voice their concerns.

    For more resources please consider joining the new social group I created entitled Support Groups. http://www.lpsg.com/groups/1150-support+groups. It is a moderated and private group that anyone can join and post to. It promised to be chocked full of resources and ideally be a participatory group of support groups.

    Also feel free to call or visit The American Self-Help Group Clearinghouse
    Website: www.selfhelpgroups.org or call 973-989-1122
     
  8. eddie7039

    eddie7039 New Member

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    Hi, I have had the same surgery and have had to deal with low testosterone. I told my urologist of my symptoms and he asked if I'd like my testosterone level checked. He checked it and it was lower the the range limit for my age. We discussed testosterone replacement and he said that he would proscribe only enough to bring to a normal level( testosterone is like fertilizer for cancer). I have been using testosterone patches for several years now. When I first started, my symptoms went away within 2 days. They have improved my libido a little and caused excessive hair growth on my abdomen, thighs and pubic area, for which I have had laser hair removal done. It took quite a few treatments; but, now I am a smoothie and I love the look and feel. No comments at the gym, but a few very favorable at nudist activities. Sexual is very close to normal, although I have dry orgasms now.
     
  9. average50

    average50 New Member

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    Yea, I'm going through it now. Had it done 4yrs ago, viagra helps in a limited way. So much for the nerve sparing technique! I don't mind the dry orgasms, get the same feeling when I jerkoff, nipple play ! But my dick did shrink, never was told that, guess I should be grateful I'm cancer free. Midlifebear , I would really like to chat with you about this, please send me a private mesage and I'll give you my private e-mail address. I have had erection problems, viagra doesn't help like I want it. My dick doesn't get as hard or as long as it once was
     
    #9 average50, Nov 25, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2012
  10. mandoman

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    I had two thirds of my prostate removed, due to a benign growth that was making me urinate every 20 minutes. Lost a testicle to a very fast growing cancer at 56 or so.
    My dick doesn't get as hard, and I get no pleasurable sensation from anal penetration.
    Life is refocusing on other things.
     
  11. average50

    average50 New Member

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    I can sympathize with that. I know there are other things in life. I miss fucking though, and haven't tried being fucked yet. Sorry to hear that it's not fun. Had my whole prostate removed and am cancer free. The nerve sparring operation is a joke, took away the ability to get a hard on. Have an older friend about 72yrs old that had a penile implant. It worked when nothing else did, but the pain... don't know if it's worth it. I can still jack off to orgasm, need a lot more stimulation, discovered my nipples! This improves the orgasm, unfortunately my dick doesn't get as hard or as long. At least I'm healthy, but sure miss sex!
     
  12. longuncutone

    longuncutone New Member

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    I had prostate cancer at 50 yo, been 5 yrs now but never knew the shit I would go through. Dr always said would be no prob with robotic surgery....my god I havnt had an erection in 5 yrs and I wet myself if I get sexualy excited , I have to wear pads all the time but I think the worse thing is that my penis has shrunk to the smallest one ever.......my balls shrunk and with the radiation after surgery my hair from beloww my waist is gone, and its smooth as a boy ......my wife says just happy to have me but I think you guys understand something women cant
     
  13. eddie7039

    eddie7039 New Member

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    I've been through this. My urologist put me on a testosterone replacement program which give me the level of T that I would normally have. Although, I have excessive hair growth which I have had removed with IPL (intense pulsed light) treatments. I have grown to love the smooth feel and my with appreciates the dry orgasms which takes patience to achieve. Don't be afraid to talk with other who have been through this. send me a message if you have questions. eddie7039
     
  14. average50

    average50 New Member

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    I just read your post, and yes I have a few questions for you. It's been 5yrs since my prostate was removed with the "nerve sparing" technique. At the time my wife was already into her 16th year of battling breast cancer, and due to her illness we hadn't had sex in over 12yrs. I wasn't interested in sex as I was in supporting her, so didn't feel the need for Viagra. At the present time, I have met a wonderful gal and we plan on getting married. I masturbate about once a week, no erection, even with Viagra now it is semi-hard. The urologist didn't push Viagra at the time of my surgery, and I was too depressed to think about it. I will be seeing him soon, do you think I should get a second opinion my condition? I'm hoping that with more stimulation I can achieve a good enough erection for sex, do you think a penis pump with Viagra might help. I miss having sex and the close contact of it. My new wife to be is the type that will probably want it often, I'm excited about this. I am able to orgasm, it is dry, but hey having this in sex is a good thing, I'll take this over no orgasms. Look forward to your reply.
     
  15. Dave NoCal

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    You need a urologist who is supportive of you having a satisfying sex life. the continuum of intervention is extensive ending in penile implant which, if done by the right surgeon, is almost always VERY successful. I've had one for about nine months and wish I had gotten it ten year earlier. I'm glad to answer questions, either in the thread or by PM.
     
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