Psycho/Sociopaths

Thirdlegproduction

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Been a while, but I still stand by it. Know too many sociopaths.

I don't think it's uncurable though, as children we learn by mimicing, copying behaviour.
Do it often enough and that part of the brain will develop.
It's a matter of years though and only if the sociopath wants it.
 

TrueShot

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Yeah...
there's a creepy vibe I get from so many people feeling the need to attribute a clinical term to the behavior of a person (or people) that have hurt them in the past, or even someone that they just dislike. Yes, psychopaths exist. But someone that isn't trained to make such diagnoses going by a laundry list of traits isn't going to yield the most accurate assessments. Look how many people are convinced they have something like Aspergers from reading the article on wikipedia without ever visiting a professional to confirm it. It's akin to the "WebMD" effect on people but instead of internet surfers being convinced of some horrible disease they have, there's tons of websites and books (that are filled with misinformation) popping up catering to the "my ex is evil" feeling we all go through and attributing immaturity, insecurity, or just plain incompatibility of other people to: my ex murders puppies.

There's this sense of "all these people must be crazy, but I'm perfectly normal" despite attracting these toxic people over and over again. If you seriously keep getting involved with these "socio/psychopaths" it has to be kept in mind that you're a common element. I used to be convinced that some guys I've dated HAD to have some sort of personality disorder, but sometimes a selfish asshole is just simply a selfish asshole.
 

helgaleena

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Learn for my story: I have just shared accommodation with what I believe was a psycopath/sociopath...knew this person before but after I moved in was forced to sign a contract which was not even fair...but had already moved in and thought things would be ok...he went around the unit repeating saying/words to himself over and over, often vile words, he would not let me watch T.V in peace but kept interrupting and asking stupid questions over and over, a roster of chores suddenly appeared which had many minsicule tasks I had to do for him and he monitired it, he made weird comments about things, called me teasing names which were not flattering, it got to the point where I had to ask him not to speak to me or use these words but he kept doing it more once he realsied it annoyed me, he talked about me on the phone so that I could hear etc....to leave was a nightmare....he was showing people through my room without permission & called me a boarder which I clearly was not....ended up I did not speak for 6 weeks before I left and I had to get the Police to move out...he took numerous pics of me moving out and threatened to take damages out of my bond, stood at the door and watched everything/glaring, even initmidated the removalists - control freak...and to make it worse after me leaving a week early and all was very tidy he did not return the bond which he promised he would do....I also think looking back it was possible I may have been poisoned as well, my health suffered so badly and I was very sick out of the blue one night - almost collapsed. My comment to others is get out asap, u cant change these type of people, they will wear u down, they never say sorry, and they seem to enjoy the fact that they r hurting you or making life miserable for you, or dont care - its like a game & they are very intelligent to manipulate you etc....even turn mutual friends aginst u with lies....took me weeks to recover form this & I had to try to find other accommodation which was very difficult. Realise it aint u when u live with a true control freak or sociopath....and watch out for these type of people!!!!!:confused:

What a horrible experience. That person sounds barely human. I am very glad you got away.
 

helgaleena

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@TrueShot: When we are attracting large numbers of a certain type of person, the best remedy is self-awareness of the signals we may be inadvertently sending, including mental attitudes we hold. Selfish assholes, as you characterize them, gravitate toward those who will tolerate their behavior. Those who respect their own boundaries sufficiently will repel them like water rolling off the duck's plumage. Not getting their expected 'reward' of irritation or flattery, they will seek other more impressionable company.

I have been in situations where a person habitually belittled me and there was no longer any safe response except for complete silence and avoidance. At last I had to write a letter, that said, Keep your criticism. I reject it. But even that could not be said face to face. It's very sad.
 

TrueShot

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So when is an asshole an asshole and when is he a sociopath.

Whatever anyone wants to call it here, the result remains the same, their behaviour is very destructive to anyone who stays in the vicinity.

When he's actually diagnosed by a professional.
Everything else is just speculation. How many people go around claiming a relative has cancer based on a list of symptoms they read on the internet?
These diagnoses have a clinical significance and people let their bias get in the way. Amazing how nobody feels so confident in being an armchair oncologist, but everyone and their mom feels so qualified to be an armchair psychologist/psychiatrist.
 

Thirdlegproduction

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I'll describe one situation where a sociopath I was friends with had an apointment with his gf at 1 pm.
She's in front of his door at 1 pm having done groceries for him and he's not there.
She calls him asking where he is, and he replies that he just went out to do an errand and he'll be there in 15 min.
15 min have passed she calls again, this time he says it'll be another 30 min.
This went on and on and the gf was locked out in the cold with groceries for a total of 4 hours.
Offcourse she was pissed as hell and wanted to know why he would do such a thing.
He actually got angry with her for becoming angry at him and was like what's the deal you waited a bit but you're inside now so stop whining.
Then he takes the groceries and sends her away as he doesn't apreciate her attitude because she was asking for an apology.

This is but one event on a long list of similar stuff over the years.
You can give me all the lectures you want but this is no asshole, that is a straight out sociopath.

A total lack of empathy and refusal to take any form of responsibility. I might have given the consideration of him being just a narcissist but his actions revolve mostly around using people for his own gain and then discard them like trash over and over again without any sign of remorse.

I disagree with the notion that only 1 to 4% of the population are sociopaths, ony 1 to 4% are identified.

The example of cancer that was given also lacks, because by that example I only have the flu when my doctor says so and untill he doesn't I don't have the flu even though I show all the symptoms.
I might not know what strand of virus it is, but I'll know I have the flu.

I do recognise the danger of everyday people making a wrong diagnosis but that doesn't mean they are wrong in advance. I learned during my psychology time that you shouldn't officially diagnose your family or friends and talk to them about the diagnosis you made about them but you can analyse as long as you keep it to yourself.
 

TrueShot

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The example of cancer that was given also lacks, because by that example I only have the flu when my doctor says so and untill he doesn't I don't have the flu even though I show all the symptoms.
I might not know what strand of virus it is, but I'll know I have the flu.

Actually, that's not the point I was making. I'm not saying that these people aren't sociopaths, but until an official diagnosis it's just speculation. A speculative guess can still be accurate at times, but even if your personal anecdotal experience gives you more insight when it comes to a "gut feeling" with these type of people it's still not an actual diagnosis.

And while this has potential to descend into a battle of misguided analogies, there's so many conditions that mimic the flu (how often do you hear flu-like symptoms for describing something) and there's plenty of other disorders that get mistaken for personality disorders. In the very beginning of your post your basically saying your biased experience is as valid and accurate as a clinical diagnoses. You've already made your mind up that this is the explanation for the boogeymen in your life.

I'm done with this thread.
 

MoociMan

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After I stumbled upon the term psychopath I did quite some research on it.

The term psychopath and sociopath are used in the same manner with the exception of nature vs nurture.

The therm psychopath is used as a term for people who are born this way.
The therm sociopath is used as a term for people who became this way by exterior influences like upbringing, environment, socio economic status etc.

At least these are the descriptions given nowadays.

I tend to believe people are born this way with no way of altering their behaviour, thus I use the term psychopath.

You, sir, are full of shit. The above is BS. The term "sociopath" isn't used anymore, since it is a morally bloated term that contains reference to society and productivity. I bet you are referring to Hare's shit comment that is paraphrased on wikipedia. (I like the word shit, because my day sucks shit today). Sociologists are not interested in individual behaviour, but in social structures and how to explain them. So sociologists wouldn't go into details about individual persons illnesses - not good sociologists at least. There is no tension between psychological research and sociological research, contrary to Hare's views, since they are engaged with very different questions.

Also, please advice us on your developed views on "nurture vs. nature". It is a kindergarden bs debate that finds no place in scientific psychology or sociology. My advice is: stop pretending to analyze people and give them labels as psychopath etc. If they are assholes: dump them, stop talking to them. I am not saying you never met one, I am just saying that your knowledge is lacking and it makes no sense that you dwell in this.

Sorry for sounding rude, I am an asshole and I like talking rough today. Perhaps I am just cool. Perhaps I am a psychopath. Oh, and my girlfriend just broke up. Excuse me. :biggrin1:

(I like you all, 4 reals)
 

CUBE

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When I was a kid the only time you heard of this condition was like Charles Manson. Now, you have a world that chapions having no care for others. Like Survivor type shows where sociopatheic behavior is rewarded. I work with several people that I consider in some form to have this condition. Hmmm