(psychologically) relaxing during sex

[Femme]

Hey y'all,

I have been experiencing something on and off for a while, and I wonder if anybody can give me some insight.

Whenever I have sex, for the first little while, but sometimes entirely, I feel sort of guilty. I am not religious, but I grew up with pretty strict parents who never talked about sex, and switch the channel should there be a love scene in a movie. At first I thought they did this because I was young, but then later as a 19 year old I found even more strange. I guess they are just "repressed".
Anyway, despite me recognizing this, it affected me. Sometimes I picture my parents walking in and disaproving, and sometimes I just have trouble being my animal self.
I have made conscious effort to talk to myself and kind of think about how I am in my early 20s, and I deserve pleasure and I love experimenting, but I am not always successful.

Did anybody go through something similar?

 

[GogMegog]

Yes, I was feeling the similar guilt when masturbate or making sex.

As you grown up in a family with strict principles related to relationships and sex etc. You can't get rid of this guilt unless you find an 'acceptable' way to get the sex pleasurably in your life.

I think our parents teachings and behaviors effect the most on the building of our conscious, so to remove a built principle within our mind (personality), you need more hard work, efforts. May be a session with psychiatrist.

An easy solution is to get married and live an happy life. As marriage is accepted in all religions, beliefs and societies, so you will never come across this situation after marriage.

 

[wallyj84]

I have this problem as well. This was a big part of what ended my last relationship, in fact. I just couldn't get relaxed or comfortable with her in an intimate situation.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I was raised in a strict Baptist family and if they did not turn the channel they said turn your head. I can only tell you how I made myself relax more was by realising that this is my body and my life. My parents got to make their own choices, now it's my turn. You have to think that most(not all) of us, our parents included take pleasure in our bodies. As much as you may not want to think about it, your parents have sex and they might have had sex before they were married or even masturbated. Relax, what you are doing is perfectly normal.

 

[lopo2000]

I have the same feeling, except I masturbate. Whenever I masturbate, or watch porn, I have this feeling that I shaved one year away from my life, or my parents' life. It's like the most sinful thing I have ever done to disappoint them, and my parents are very very religious. Might be the reason why I'm still a virgin til now.

But, since I embraced my sexuality, and body need, I just feel a little bit more comfortable.

 

[B_patrickmcc]

I have this problem, but only after having sec with someone that I have absolutely no interest in outside of sex. It's like my animalistic instincts took over, and then once in satiated, my sensical brain part says "WTF di you do?"
Which is why that I have pretty much stopped hopping ion the sack with people unless I genuinely like them, enjoy there company , AND find them sexually attractive.
When that happens I have no guilty feelings.