Psychology of a submissive

Smaccoms

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It is right for me I would never expect anyone to live a life that they did not want to live. It is up to each one of us to decide how we want to live and each couple and family to define their own parameters and roles.

I did not realize you were only referencing yourself. Personally, I can't imagine living under those parameters. I hope you're happy.

I must agree about personal parameters in any and all relationships. Ones which fit personal and social criteria of the parties involved. Of course, I haven't been able to test this out with romantic relationships, but I certainly have experience with other forms of relations.
 

Smaccoms

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Regarding Nia's life...It's really not that hard to understand if one desires to be accepted as a woman in society that she would want to partake in all the TRADITIONAL roles that women have been known to do for thousands of years.

See, this is precisely what I meant regarding my viewpoint as a gay man. The traditional roles meant for men generally deny homosexuality imo. My understanding of masculinity is atypical. Traits I posses which I regard as a part of who I am become a part of my identity and thus my masculinity. I love belly dancing and movements with my hips. They are an expression of myself and thus my masculinity. A lot of straight people most likely will not immediately understand this concept I regard as natural for myself. This is why communing with other homosexuals fulfills the need for me to establish my masculine identity socially as well as individually. It makes perfect sense to me really.

This is also a part of the reason my initial reaction to Nia was as negative as it was...
 

B_prettyswinggirl

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See, this is precisely what I meant regarding my viewpoint as a gay man. The traditional roles meant for men generally deny homosexuality imo. My understanding of masculinity is atypical. Traits I posses which I regard as a part of who I am become a part of my identity and thus my masculinity. I love belly dancing and movements with my hips. They are an expression of myself and thus my masculinity. A lot of straight people most likely will not immediately understand this concept I regard as natural for myself. This is why communing with other homosexuals fulfills the need for me to establish my masculine identity socially as well as individually. It makes perfect sense to me really.

This is also a part of the reason my initial reaction to Nia was as negative as it was...

I too had an initial negative reaction to Nia. I don't believe it's necessary for a woman to be the stay at home / bare foot pregnant type. I have a few transexual girlfriends and many gay friends who either wouldn't or by necessity can't limit themselves to the 1960's roles that were forced on men and women. One of my Trans friends is a well known advocate here in my town and is currently in Afganistan working on a govt contract. She's been opening minds towards gay and transexual rights for years and is very well respected by all. Maybe Nia just needs to feel more comfortable in her skin and that sometimes takes time and a supportive network of friends. I do wish her happiness however she finds it!

Now as for me, I have 2 Doms in my life that I love and that both love me and want me for me, not some June Cleaver wannabe. I'm also a perfect switch and sometimes feel like turning the tables on them. Lol! Trust, love and respect are required for our relationship to work. So far no safe words are needed because unfortunately my guys are both 6'5" and with me being 5'3" and newly cancer free, they see one grimace on my face or hear one wimper and that tends to stop what they are doing to me and I wind up "Arrrrgging!!!" in frustration! Now how to get around that one I have NO idea.:confused:
 

B_subgirrl

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So far no safe words are needed because unfortunately my guys are both 6'5" and with me being 5'3" and newly cancer free, they see one grimace on my face or hear one wimper and that tends to stop what they are doing to me and I wind up "Arrrrgging!!!" in frustration! Now how to get around that one I have NO idea.:confused:

Err . . . might I suggest . . . a safe word :tongue:

Seriously, if you had a safe word (or maybe in your case it should be called an ouch word :tongue:) and they knew you would use it when needed, they might feel more free to ignore your whimpers and grimaces and just keep going.

In this case the safe word would be less for safety and more to give them the freedom from feeling like they need to avoid hurting you.
 

B_prettyswinggirl

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Err . . . might I suggest . . . a safe word :tongue:

Seriously, if you had a safe word (or maybe in your case it should be called an ouch word :tongue:) and they knew you would use it when needed, they might feel more free to ignore your whimpers and grimaces and just keep going.

In this case the safe word would be less for safety and more to give them the freedom from feeling like they need to avoid hurting you.

Oh I'm totally going with that route!! I'm getting a little frustrated with the stoppage of play from J especially. They've got to agree to the word too...

I had blood after sex a few days ago and I though J was going to faint on me! I reassured him I was fine and no pain. That it was from my exam a few days before. (Dr was a little rough) Still he got scared enough that no sex for the rest of the weekend. I do not do well with that at all!!!!:frown1:
 

B_subgirrl

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Oh I'm totally going with that route!! I'm getting a little frustrated with the stoppage of play from J especially. They've got to agree to the word too...

I had blood after sex a few days ago and I though J was going to faint on me! I reassured him I was fine and no pain. That it was from my exam a few days before. (Dr was a little rough) Still he got scared enough that no sex for the rest of the weekend. I do not do well with that at all!!!!:frown1:

J is way too much of a sweetheart :tongue:.

Good luck with the ouch word! You'll have to let me know if it helps at all.