Pua............................................. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Is PUA bad?

  • Yes

  • No

  • Some of it is, and some of it isn't

  • PUA?


Results are only viewable after voting.

Doranq

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  1. Do you think it is all bad?
  2. Do you know what it is?
  3. Do you have any better alternatives
  4. Have you ever researched it?
  5. Ever read/watch anything from multiple sources?
  6. Do you think people have a misconception of it (for good or bad?)
  7. Do you think you make broad assumptions about it?



It'll be nice to see how people respond/vote.


Feel free to copy and paste the numbers below, it'll make it easier/less cluttered. For all to read.

Ctrl+c (copy) Ctrl+v (paste) It's faster if in case you didn't know or not.

 
6

693987

Guest
  1. Do you think it is all bad? Yes.
  2. Do you know what it is? Pick up artist, presumably, since that crap has been getting mentioned a few places on LPSG of late.
  3. Do you have any better alternatives? Responding with the assumption that you do mean pick up artist bullshit... Actually be a freaking real person. Your personality isn't ever going to be everyone's cuppa tea. While there are some general societal/cultural niceties to observe, you can be yourself and find people who find you appealing.
  4. Have you ever researched it? No.
  5. Ever read/watch anything from multiple sources? No
  6. Do you think people have a misconception of it (for good or bad?) Yes. Some guys actually think it's a good idea, but then bitch about the kinds of women they pick up with it.
  7. Do you think you make broad assumptions about it? No.
 
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Doranq

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  1. Do you think it is all bad? Yes.
  2. Do you know what it is? Pick up artist, presumably, since that crap has been getting mentioned a few places on LPSG of late.
  3. Do you have any better alternatives? Responding with the assumption that you do mean pick up artist bullshit... Actually be a freaking real person. Your personality isn't ever going to be everyone's cuppa tea. While there are some general societal/cultural niceties to observe, you can be yourself and find people who find you appealing.
  4. Have you ever researched it? No.
  5. Ever read/watch anything from multiple sources? No
  6. Do you think people have a misconception of it (for good or bad?) Yes. Some guys actually think it's a good idea, but then bitch about the kinds of women they pick up with it.
  7. Do you think you make broad assumptions about it? No.
3. I really did mean alternative. Making friends, hooking up, creating relationships ,etc involve a set of skills. The question was what alternative would you recommend to learn said skills. Be it video, article, seminar, w/e.


Just curious because you answered no to 4/5 having never watched/read nor researched. I was wondering what was the basis of thinking behind 1/6/7. Do you answer based on what you have read from guys, like the ones who ask for advice and bring up using shit like negging, what's presented through the media, etc? Just trying to see it from your perspective.
 
6

693987

Guest
My answer to 5 should have been "sort of" I suppose.

I didn't find that hook ups led to relationships. I very specifically chose people for hook ups and not some other form of relationship. Making friends, going out and having hobbies etc, all lead to a more well rounded and interesting person, to me. I think outside of basic courtesies that hopefully people are already taught, the better way to learn how to socialize is the sink or swim method. Go out and be around people.

I didn't research that crap because I think it's fucking stupid. I've read a couple articles outlining some of the methods/reasoning behind the "methods" and thought it was a steaming, stinking pile of crap. The personalities/behavior I've seen exhibited by the assholes who USE the PUA combined with the articles I read were enough. HEY let me just insult the hell out of someone, and do a bunch of other manipulative crap, and then when I only get a certain type of woman, let me bitch about it and generalize how all women are because of it.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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I've read a few things here and there about this PUA nonsense. To me it's all just manipulative bullshit. I don't want some person to 'pick me up' by playing to what they think I'm all about. I want to be with someone who is capable of expressing their genuine self and intentions to me, in an honest, up front way. It is possible to be tactful, and genuine about what ones interests/intentions are. I don't want to be 'summed up' and have some guy calculate how he should approach me and what the best way would be in order to get the reaction he wants out of me.

It's hard to meet people. I get it. However, as an adult, if a person can't own the fuck up and just talk to me it's not gonna work between me and them anyway. I'm not shy, and I'm not intimidated. I'm assuming the reason I'm not too familiar with it is because no one's ever tried it on me. I don't think I'm the kind of woman those guys are looking to find.
 
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918177

Guest
Spend 10 mins in the company of a guy and you'll see if what he's saying to get you interested are in fact lines he's parroting off some website or if they're actually his honest authentic reaction.

You can dress up a pig all you like but at the end of the day he's still a pig.
 

AlteredEgo

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Years before I ever heard of PUA, some dude tried to use it on me. He'd vacillate between these moments of zen-like chill that I find extremely attractive and arousing, and these insane moments of what I could only think of at the time as bizarre fronting. If he wasn't as cute as he was, I would have given up on him much sooner. His mouth was so sexy, and I really wanted to know what it would feel like against mine, and all over my body. That's why I approached him to find out more about him as a man. And even though I came on to him, lured him into conversation, and was willing to fuck him that very same day should he prove to be the right kind of man, our association lasted a few months and he never did get to lay with me.

Years later, when I discovered PUA, and read a lot about it from different books and websites, I recognized that he was using a type of manipulation that is recommended for women who are perceived as somewhere between 6 and 8 on whatever attractiveness scale. Every time he tried, it just seemed weird and false. It's the sole reason I didn't pull his dick out and suck it on the occasion that I went to meet with him with precisely that agenda. I'd seen a picture and it was gorgeous. He was so funny and sweet when he wasn't manipulative. Make me laugh and you're almost inside me. Do something I think is manipulative, and I'll balk.

This experience makes me automatically think that PUA nonsense only works on women who are not perceptive, and who have low self esteem. That particular technique was meant to make me feel prettier. The problem is I'm narcissistic, my ego barely fits in my skull, and I'm really my own biggest fan. Nobody could ever love me more than I do. My self esteem is sky high. I am also realistic about my appearance. I don't look like a magazine cover, and I've never caused traffic accidents like my bestie has, but I am very beautiful in a more common way.

I just think it's insulting to use on a woman who is playing with a full deck, and abusive to use on a woman who is less fleshed out emotionally and mentally. The latter is the kind of woman I think it works on. I think this because so many who use PUA make these crazy generalizations about women that have no application to my existence. I don't like women who are not similar to me. I want to like them, but it just doesn't work out, and the feeling is usually mutual. As a result, I don't even know any women who are like what these PUA guys claim women are like.

Well, scratch that. My very closest friend grew up as Daddy's spoiled princess, so now she's a gold digger. She's very hardworking, but if a dude can't pay for everything he's not the one for her. She's breathtakingly beautiful, has a gorgeous body, and she's friendly, warm, compassionate, and charitable. And a doctor! She is also an excellent cook and keeps a nice home. But it takes a whole lot of money to hold onto her.

She has fairly low self esteem from never fully recovering from an abusive partner in the past. We both grew up with violent, abusive mothers. It sometimes takes us a minute to spot the signs. I've always been out before the abuse can begin. She stays until she's done being knocked around, or done being afraid that she's going to get knocked around. And even so, PUA methods do not typically work on her. Want to keep her attention? She has hundreds of thousands of dollars of student debt left. Pay some of that down.

She married some guy I never trusted fully and fear that he will murder her some day. He has isolated her from everyone else who loves her. He has alienated her beloved father. And he can get away with anything he wants to do to her because he is a cop. His jealousy is outrageous! When he asked for her father's blessing, her father said no. So did I when I was asked. They didn't get married. Then, he put tens of thousands down on her student loans. They were married a week later, and I reluctantly congratulated them and welcomed him as a brother. Her father congratulated them, and then cut her off financially. When he went to visit a year later to meet his grandsons, the husband was cruel to him. He's never allowed to visit again. She was talking to me about divorce, but it seems she has changed her mind. She found a way to maintain a loving relationship with her father despite her evil husband.

With her, only money talks. PUA bullshit would either hurt her feelings or make her laugh at the clown in front of her. So you really have to wonder about these poor souls who fall for this nonsense, and what kind of quality you can expect from them.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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I ghost wrote some copy for what turned out to be a PUA site. Guy didn't beleive in it for a second, but it was clickbait.
I dropped all kinds of feminist stuff in there. It lived.

Most PUA copy is canned, meaning written in English by a non native speaker in Asia, guessing by the grammar glitches. (Different native languages create different oddities in secondary language writing.)

I find it sad to pathetic, to potentially harmful.
No does mean no, unless you two negotiated a scene.
It's rape apologist, female infantilizing, and bad for guys to think of themselves as only about scores, or looks, or whatever.