Puns are hot!

LittleDicky

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Daffy Duck calls the front desk at a hotel where he's staying and asks for a condom.
"Shall we put it on your bill,Sir?" the desk clerk asks.
He replies "Are you thucking Thtupid?! I 'll thuffocate!!"

In a like manner:

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
 
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In a like manner:

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Lol!
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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In a like manner:

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Yeah, uh, that follow up was used in a thread I created where Minnie wrote in the snow with Goofy's piss MICKEY MOUSE SUCKS, and somebody else followed it up too. BTW, Mickey and Minnie aren't married.
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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Confucius say,
Stealing one's cup of coffee is called mugging.
Holding door open for clown is nice jester.
No matter how far you push envelope, It'll always be stationery.
Person who: Too far to see.

In Local news, the ENERGIZER BUNNY was arrested and charged with battery.
When you put your grandmother on speed dial it's called INSTAGRAM.
 

LittleDicky

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Pasteurize: too far to see.
That reminds me of:

Hillbilly Medical Terms:

Benign.................What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.

Barium.................What you do with dead folks.

Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan................Searching for the cat.

Cauterize..............Made eye contact with her.

Colic..................A sheep dog.

Coma...................A punctuation mark.

D&C....................Where Washington is.

Dilate.................To live longer than your kids do.

Enema..................Not a friend.

Fester.................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula.................A small lie.

G.I.Series.............World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail...............What you hang your coat on.

Hospital...............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Frank's lumber mill.

Impotent...............Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain.............Getting hurt at work.

Morbid.................A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates...............Cheaper than day rates.

Medical Staff..........A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

Node...................I knew it.

Outpatient.............A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear..............A fatherhood test.

Pelvis.................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative.........A letter carrier.

Recovery Room..........Place to do upholstery.

Secretion..............Hiding something

Tablet.................A small table to change babies on.

Seizure................Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

Terminal Illness.......Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor..................More than one.

Urine..................Opposite of mine.

Varicose...............Near by.
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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That reminds me of:

Hillbilly Medical Terms:

Benign.................What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.

Barium.................What you do with dead folks.

Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan................Searching for the cat.

Cauterize..............Made eye contact with her.

Colic..................A sheep dog.

Coma...................A punctuation mark.

D&C....................Where Washington is.

Dilate.................To live longer than your kids do.

Enema..................Not a friend.

Fester.................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula.................A small lie.

G.I.Series.............World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail...............What you hang your coat on.

Hospital...............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Frank's lumber mill.

Impotent...............Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain.............Getting hurt at work.

Morbid.................A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates...............Cheaper than day rates.

Medical Staff..........A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

Node...................I knew it.

Outpatient.............A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear..............A fatherhood test.

Pelvis.................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative.........A letter carrier.

Recovery Room..........Place to do upholstery.

Secretion..............Hiding something

Tablet.................A small table to change babies on.

Seizure................Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

Terminal Illness.......Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor..................More than one.

Urine..................Opposite of mine.

Varicose...............Near by.
Very cute, now would you mind not following up my stuff in quotes there, LD?
 

LittleDicky

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No originality on your parts, for starters:mad:
Sorry. I didn't realize it was a competition to see who could be funnier.
giveup.gif
I'm just here to have fun.

It won't happen again. Bye !
wave.gif
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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Sorry. I didn't realize it was a competition to see who could be funnier.
giveup.gif
I'm just here to have fun.

It won't happen again. Bye !
wave.gif
It- isn't a competition. But then again, its not a valid way to piggyback your posts on other's OP. All good tho.
Well, TTYL!;)
Person who get lost in cornfield will be A maized.:D
 

LittleDicky

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• Couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week.

• Sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel.

• Squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts.

• Man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy.

• Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.