Pushy Bottoms and All the Drama

[derrick10]

Recently I went to a club with a few friends just to drink listen to some music and to get out the house. I had this guy come up to me comming on real strong, now I not trying to discriminate but i wasnt intertested. But he just kept comming. finally when I told him to back off he got offened and started shit about me throughout the club. WTF? Why are chubby bottom guys so damn obnoctious?

 

[dolfette]

it's got shag all to do with him being chubby or a bottom. there are plenty of every sort being jerks when rejected. your bad experience doesn't make it ok to generalise that way and abuse every ''chubby bottom'' on the site.

 

[derrick10]

I wouldn't say my comment was abusive. Just that most of the time when this happens its a chubby bottom guy who won' take no for an answer.

 

[Bbucko]

I wouldn't say my comment was abusive. Just that most of the time when this happens its a chubby bottom guy who won' take no for an answer.

Maybe it's the way you're saying it. I manage to get guys to understand no all the time, chubs or otherwise.

 

[derrick10]

I believe your right, I usually say No thats alright, smile and say good bye and turn away. but Not ALL of them but a lot keep comming back. My friends say Im too friendly and should be blunt. That seems to create enemies.

 

[B_Nick8]

If you're rude, you're gonna get 'tude, chubby, thin, top or bottom.

 

[B_Nicodemous]

Recently I went to a club with a few friends just to drink listen to some music and to get out the house. I had this guy come up to me comming on real strong, now I not trying to discriminate but i wasnt intertested. But he just kept comming. finally when I told him to back off he got offened and started shit about me throughout the club. WTF? Why are chubby bottom guys so damn obnoctious?

People hate rejection. Period. Some handle it better than others. Period. The rest of what I was going to say Dof already did:

it's got shag all to do with him being chubby or a bottom. there are plenty of every sort being jerks when rejected. your bad experience doesn't make it ok to generalise that way and abuse every ''chubby bottom'' on the site.

preach it sister.

I wouldn't say my comment was abusive. Just that most of the time when this happens its a chubby bottom guy who won' take no for an answer.

Um...proportionally, how many bottoms who are not chubby, are you rejecting. If it is an even amount, then and only then, can you say that with any sense of certainty. But if you are rejecting 100% chubs, and only 5% non chubs or even 25%, can ya not see how that would skew the results?

Maybe it's the way you're saying it. I manage to get guys to understand no all the time, chubs or otherwise.

Bb speaks the truth, maybe ya might want ta listen?

 

[Bbucko]

I believe your right, I usually say No thats alright, smile and say good bye and turn away. but Not ALL of them but a lot keep comming back. My friends say Im too friendly and should be blunt. That seems to create enemies.

There's an art to gentle but firm rejection. There's really no need to go any further than "I don't think we'd be compatible, thanks", with lots of eye contact.

I work in a bar between five and seven nights every week, and get hit on all the time; to a certain extent my job depends on maintaining a seductive air, and I recognize that unwanted sexual advances are part of the job. I've gotta be able to say "no thanks" in a way that doesn't alienate customers but is also crystal clear.

One of the things I've noticed is that lots of these guys are just looking for some attention. So after you've firmly but politely declined anything sexual, engage them in conversation for ten or fifteen minutes: it won't kill you, and everyone will notice that you're approachable, friendly and have something to say (no matter how banal bar talk can be). After your chat, excuse yourself and go to a different part of the bar/club. If he comes back, politely decline with eye contact and move again.

 

[derrick10]

Thats great advice. I'll also have to take into concideration the crowd for that night. I just have such limited places in my area. but looking to branch out to new cities. Thanks for the advice.

 

[B_Nicodemous]

There's an art to gentle but firm rejection. There's really no need to go any further than "I don't think we'd be compatible, thanks", with lots of eye contact.

I work in a bar between five and seven nights every week, and get hit on all the time; to a certain extent my job depends on maintaining a seductive air, and I recognize that unwanted sexual advances are part of the job. I've gotta be able to say "no thanks" in a way that doesn't alienate customers but is also crystal clear.

One of the things I've noticed is that lots of these guys are just looking for some attention. So after you've firmly but politely declined anything sexual, engage them in conversation for ten or fifteen minutes: it won't kill you, and everyone will notice that you're approachable, friendly and have something to say (no matter how banal bar talk can be). After your chat, excuse yourself and go to a different part of the bar/club. If he comes back, politely decline with eye contact and move again.

Your so awesome Bb. *basks in reflected awesomeness*

 

[jjsjr]

How many "chubby bottoms" do you interact with to suddenly make you an expert on the topic? :wink:

For all you know, this was his behavior and his only. With alcohol involved, people act like different characters altogether. Let him talk his shit; if he really acts like this, chances are that others know it and probably don't trust his opinions. Be who you are, do what you do, and go for the guys that you want.

Try to not be as judgmental, let things just be as they are and you'll find that judgment is fruitless.