Put a smile on your face

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, May 27, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    Finedessert: SOME INTERESTING FACTS

    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now that's more like it!)

    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
    (O.M...G.!)

    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

    (I'm still not over the pig.)

    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
    (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
    ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

    (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

    (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Something I always wanted to know.)

    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    (Hmmmmmm........)

    Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
    than left-handed people.
    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (OK, so that would be a good thing....)

    A cat's urine glows under a black light.
    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (I know some people like that.)

    Starfish have no brains.
    (I know some people like that too.)

    Polar bears are left-handed.
    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig??)

    Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone.

    (Lucky pig!!!)
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Now, everytime somebody calls you a pig, you can say...

    "I wish!"


    Pecker
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    A whale's penis is called a 'Dork'.

    Ever done the Samba? The word means 'to rub navels together'.

    The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.
    (Hmmmm...does that count jacking off first?)

    A pregnant goldfish is called a 'Twit'.

    Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.

    Winston Churchill was born in the Ladies Room during a dance.

    If you jerk off every day for 36,500 days you'll live to be 100.


    Pecker
     
  4. Imported

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    H8Monga: Pecker... I think I missed a few days...
     
  5. Synergistic

    Synergistic Member

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    I don't think anyone was paid to figure out the cat urine glowing, I think a cat peed on someone while they were under a blacklight.
     
  6. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    [quote author=nlatimer link=board=meetgreet;num=1054057972;start=0#4 date=05/27/03 at 23:31:02]I don't think anyone was paid to figure out the cat urine glowing, I think a cat peed on someone while they were under a blacklight.[/quote]

    The phenomenon may have been discovered by forensics scientists who were searching over evidence for semen deposits.

    Now they have to determine if the positive glow under the black light is actually semen, cat piss or club soda, among other things.

    Pecker
     
  7. Imported

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    mr17yearold: left-handed people actually live about 5-7 years shorter than right handed people... not 9

    and thats fact
     
  8. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    [quote author=mr17yearold link=board=meetgreet;num=1054057972;start=0#6 date=05/28/03 at 18:31:47]left-handed people actually live about 5-7 years shorter than right handed people... not 9

    and thats fact[/quote]

    That's because they don't jerk off 36,500 days in a row.

    Pecker
     
  9. Imported

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    gigantikok: Shouldn't this belong on "Off Topic Postings"? Not trying to be anal, but it bothers me that certain people seem to make a huge deal when personals show up on "meet and greet" and don't seem to care when stuff like this isn't moved to its appropriate place.

    Oh, and by the way, humans and dolphins aren't the only animals that have sex for pleasure. You seem to have forgotten to mention Bonobo Monkeys (i think that's what they are called). Only other animal besides humans that perform oral, as well as have sex for pleasure. Go figure.
     
  10. Imported

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    gigantikok: Oh, and I don't think Hippopotomi or Rhinos can jump either.
     
  11. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    [quote author=gigantikok link=board=meetgreet;num=1054057972;start=0#9 date=05/29/03 at 01:52:02]Oh, and I don't think Hippopotomi or Rhinos can jump either.[/quote]

    Well, I can jump higher than the tallest building!

    Pecker
     
  12. Imported

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    Finedessert: GIGANTIKOK:

    Yes I agree with you that this should have been placed in the " Off-Topic " Thread....BUT being the dirty old man that I am...I wanted to see how many of our Members wished they were Pigs...more than the studs they really are.

    Grandpa
     
  13. Imported

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    H8Monga: Are chimpanzees really monkeys? Bonobos are chimps I thought. Bonobos don't just do it for pleasure.. they do it for anything! Food, hierarchy, the wind is blowing...
     
  14. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    [quote author=Finedessert link=board=meetgreet;num=1054057972;start=0#0 date=05/27/03 at 10:52:52]
    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (OK, so that would be a good thing....)
    [/quote]

    Not so. Snakes cannot jump ... even the so-called 'jumping snake' ... nor can blindworms. I can't think of any marine mollusk or cephalopod that can jump. Maybe elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump. Maybe.
     
  15. jonb

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    [quote author=Hapi Papi link=board=meetgreet;num=1054057972;start=12#12 date=05/29/03 at 09:34:01]Are chimpanzees really monkeys? Bonobos are chimps I thought. Bonobos don't just do it for pleasure.. they do it for anything! Food, hierarchy, the wind is blowing...[/quote]
    Well, the good news is that we're no longer the only living hominid species. Chimpanzees are now Homo troglodytes and bonobos are now Homo paniscus. The entire hominid family has been reclassified into the Homo genus, rather than the traditional Paranthropus/Australopithecus/Homo split, to fit the new evidence; and Neanderthals are now a separate species, rather than a subspecies of H. sapiens.
     
  16. Imported

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    rayv1: 36,500 days = 100 years

    365 days = 1 year
     
  17. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    LOL - somebody did the math! :D

    Pecker
     
  18. Imported

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    H8Monga: [quote author=DoubleMeatWhopper link=board=meetgreet;num=1054057972;start=12#13 date=05/29/03 at 15:44:40]

    Not so. Snakes cannot jump ... even the so-called 'jumping snake' ... nor can blindworms. I can't think of any marine mollusk or cephalopod that can jump. Maybe elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump. Maybe.
    [/quote]

    I recall a documentary called "White Men Can't Jump." Uh... maybe that was NOT a documentary... never mind! ::)
     
  19. Imported

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    H8Monga: [quote author=jonb link=board=meetgreet;num=1054057972;start=12#14 date=05/29/03 at 17:56:43]
    Well, the good news is that we're no longer the only living hominid species. Chimpanzees are now Homo troglodytes and bonobos are now Homo paniscus. The entire hominid family has been reclassified into the Homo genus, rather than the traditional Paranthropus/Australopithecus/Homo split, to fit the new evidence; and Neanderthals are now a separate species, rather than a subspecies of H. sapiens.[/quote]

    And we are one rockin', sex-lovin' family! :)
     
  20. Imported

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    mr17yearold:
    are you sure this actually happened yet??? from what i have heard, they are still debating weither to include them in the hominid family. has that debate since stopped? i do not believe so, but if you have a link of some sort to prove me otherwise, id love to read it.
     
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