Sorry I have not been back to my own post, business duties. I am overwhelmed by the responses and genuine caring for the most part from those who have posted. Many great views and I read some more than once. Seems like I'm not alone.
Well, menapausal is what she has stated. She recently had a Dr's appointment with lots of blood work done. Which is all well and good, who can make an arguement against that ? But there is more to the story.
Our last child went off to college in the fall and I was curious to see what her and I would do together at that point. As many couples do, we live through our children and we did through ours. We never made a life for ourselves, other than sex. I had a feeling once the kids were gone and the sex was gone our relationship would vanish, not that I wished it, but I had that feeling. Her world revolved around the kids, never me.
We don't share much at all, she dislikes what I like (cars,golf,movies,music,a night out at a good restaurant, small talk) and I don't show much interest in her likes. She goes out of her way to try to embarass me in front of others, mostly my boys and elderly father. I don't understand if she even realizes what she's doing or saying at times. So that creates a tense atmosphere,one I always dismiss in front of others not to embarass her or myself, but it eats at me.
I'm not a confrontational person, but I more than stand up for myself, never putting her down or humiliating her like she tries to me. So I go my own way and try to leave things be. I must admit, she is a great mother, in that regards I could have not have asked for better. As a life partner, I am disappointed.
I can live with the diminished sex, hell, last year we had sex 13 times, most of that was during the summer months. I'm not a sex-aholic. I want a relationship, someone to share my day/future/stryggles with. Right now I feel like I'm living with my sister.
Counseling ? If after 30 years together we can't blend, I don't know if counseling will help. We don't fight, never have. Maybe we should ! Divorce ? Now that the kids are out of the house, it would be easier to do so. Is living with a non-loving, sister like partner better than being alone ? Don't know.
I'm not the only one who goes through this and I'm not here making that claim. This site has been a great inspiration over the years, and as most previous posts have shown, our members are a caring and compassionate group. Just trying to sort this out.