Queenie Guys

cnkckfil

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Hello all,

I am all about a gay guy being their authentic self but sometimes I feel like people are following a stereotype already set instead of actually being themselves. Recently I have meet group of "queenie" (think Jack from will and grace) guys and I was completely turned off and found them obnoxious. I hate that I feel that way, they just annoyed the living hell out of me and I kept thinking who actually real behaves this way. Again I hate that I feel that way towards over the top "Queenie" types because I want to like all within our community. How do you guys feel about those over the top "Queenie" Jack from Will and Grace types?

I would also like to add that I myself am not hyper masculine nor super feminine. I feel that I am a mixture of both but more leaning towards masculine. Adding this because I don't want anyone to think I am hating on them for being feminine because I have some of those traits as well.
 
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deleted4931171

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I actually completely agree with you, I know exactly what kind of guys you're talking about, and they are annoying as fuck.

And same, I'm all for people being themselves, but that's just my honest opinion about those kind of people. I think the majority of the gay community aren't really like that at all, but those kinds of people tend to get the most attention, because they're usually the types to put themselves out there like that, and be the center of attention.
 
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deleted1074483

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having lived in London and Brighton in the UK for many years and having been quite sceney back then, for me, what you call the 'queenie' types added colour, diversity, loudness and brashness, they were there openly being who they were - love them or not. I loved them for that and making the scene part of what it was - if everyone was like me there'd be no fabulousness out there at all!!

so i can fully appreciate someone being their own authentic self, it doesn't annoy me or anything like that.

I'll admit that i can't actually 'take' all that loudness for too long as i'm more a quiet reserved type. But all the guys i've met like that have been warm, welcoming and lovely - yes they can be catty and vicious at times but actually so can many others.

I've dated guys who were less than masculine in their behaviours in the past as they were being who they were, even though not my preference on paper.

I just think we all need to be more open, more accepting and try to be less judgmental about all these things (things i try to work on myself too).

But i agree they do have to be their own authentic self and not just because they believe thats who they have to be, to fit in. But that applies to any 'group' within the gay community and wider society too?
 
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winesthel945

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Is it that you dislike "queenie" guys, or dislike people who are behaving in a loud and obnoxious manner?

Associating it with a particular sense of the femininity seems more of a manifestation of a sex-based bias rather than the nature of an anti-social behavior at a specific time. Remember that homophobia is essentially misogyny applied to men perceived as too much like women.

So it's probably worth some self-examination of what it is about those "queenie" guys that bothers you and understanding whether the problem is really their lack of masculinity or just their lack of judgment about behaving like loud, rude assholes.
 

cnkckfil

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Is it that you dislike "queenie" guys, or dislike people who are behaving in a loud and obnoxious manner?

Associating it with a particular sense of the femininity seems more of a manifestation of a sex-based bias rather than the nature of an anti-social behavior at a specific time. Remember that homophobia is essentially misogyny applied to men perceived as too much like women.

So it's probably worth some self-examination of what it is about those "queenie" guys that bothers you and understanding whether the problem is really their lack of masculinity or just their lack of judgment about behaving like loud, rude assholes.

Well said bud. I think it is the overly obnoxious part. I have dated and slept with many men who I guess would be perceived feminine acting but still was very much attracted to them. I don't think I am applying am ill will to the said group for the feminine aspect of their nature. What troubles me is more the over the top, loud, I am going to get into your face, space and state my case attitude and total inconsideration for others. It just pisses me off and I feel that these types make us all look so badly. I know bad apple in all bunches but urgh it irritates my soul.
 

cantaloupe

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I don't like that trait in other gay men, women who overdo it and while straight men are not queenie-ish they can be just as loud and obnoxious in a toxic masculine way. But I get what you mean, it is very common in the gay community and television tends to favor these kinds of behavior.