Question About BB

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Elijah_MorganWood, Jan 17, 2006.

  1. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    After a few recent tours of Gay Personals, what the fuck happened? It seems there are now a ton of men out there looking to have some stranger's load deposited in their butt or vice versa.

    Are these guys all positive?
     
  2. SomeGuyOverThere

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    -Nevermind-
     
  3. Lex

    Lex
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    There are a few reasons for this, IMO:

    1. Some men do not have the respect for HIV that older men do due to the advent of drug therapies. They see it as a disease to be managed rather than a death sentence. These guys have never seen friends dies from AIDS. They prefer bareback, even though it is dangerous
    2. Some men WANT to become positive. They are called bug-chasers.
    3. Some men ARE positive and therefore no longer feel the need to use protection and seek other positive guys for "uninhibited" (read=unprotected) sex.
     
  4. DC_DEEP

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    Sorcerer, I'm with you on that one. Although I don't really do personals now (no need to, with a partner...) I know a lot of guys are into barebacking, and I have even met a few who do bareback ONLY. It's a little scary. You may safely assume that if a guy is interested in BB, or even mentions it as a possibility, he is either positive, or a bug-chaser and will be positive in the near future. Of course, the best policy is to assume that anyone you meet is positive, and play safely. The bottom line is that you are the person primarily responsible for your own health and safety. I love bareback sex, but until my partner were in a stable relationship and tested (together, at 3 month intervals, for one year) I had given up on it. From 1985 on, I insisted that any sex I engaged in was well-protected. And any time I met up with someone who begged for bareback, and insisted that he was negative, I bolted. Know yourself, and trust no one.
     
  5. BBB2.5

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    As stated in an above post. Todays generation have no clue what Being HIV+ is about. They all see it as a manageable thing. Well coming from an infected guy. (nearly 14 years) It really makes me sad...:frown1: . I wish they would have seen what HIV and Aids was like back in the 80's. Maybe we need to bring back those images...maybe then they would all think about BB.
    :tongue:
     
  6. madame_zora

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    Thanks for that voice of reason.

    Seriously, if you have bareback sex in anything other than the context of a monogamous and faithful relationship, you are planning to get HIV. Period.

    This is just as big a problem in the straight world too.
     
  7. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    If this thread makes even one sexual participant cautious, it and LPSG has achieved their rights to existence, thanks to Sorcerer, Some Guy Over There, BB2.5, DC_DEEP, Lex and Jana! You guys rock and are appreciated!
     
  8. Lex

    Lex
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    BBB2.5--Thank you for your openess and honesty.

    I have two friends that are positive and who have been open with me about their struggles, the stimaga and the ongoing search for love and acceptance. There is, unfortunately, a generation or two (Z or Y? both?) that have less respect for drug addiction and STDs than the baby boomers and Gen Xer's who came before them. It is sad. I agree with you that images of people during their slow death from AIDS as well as those old "brain on drugs" commercials (also, the images of cancerous organs found on Canadian cigarette packages) are powerful things.
     
  9. DC_DEEP

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    Thank you, RT! I have voiced my opinion on the subject many times in this forum. Several things must take place before we can bring this horrible HIV epidemic under control (but of course, they will never come to pass...): As a society, HIV+ people need to be treated with dignity and respect, not as outcasts or untouchables. If we diffuse the social stigma, then more pos people will be forthright about their status. Those of us who are sexually active also need to be socially responsible. We all need to take responsibility for our actions, and the consequences of those actions. Barebacking with strangers is just simply stupid, and reprehensible. Educate yourself.

    I don't trust "the lastest studies" or "the latest statistics." I view the current lists of less risky and more risky activities with skepticism. Every single datum collected in these studies involves trusting both the memory and the integrity of the subjects. I tend to think of oral sex as riskier than the published numbers would seem to indicate. It is possible to protect yourself, and still avoid treating HIV+ people as less than human. Don't shut people out, but at the same time, don't be stupid. Never ever allow a situation or a recreational drug or drink to cause you to drop your guard or your common sense.

    My partner and I do occasionally play with HIV+ men, but those men have to be comfortable with our decisions about what we deem acceptable. With anyone other than my partner, I won't have any contact or potential contact with body fluids, without a layer of latex between us... that includes oral, anal, or genital contact. Other than that, there are lots of fun things to do without risking infection.
     
  10. SomeGuyOverThere

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    Woops! I totally misundersttod the first post!
     
  11. Alecia19

    Alecia19 Member

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    Yes i cant remember who posted it but thank-you for your openness and honesty and just know you've probably touched more people's lives than you realize. May God bless you and good luck.
     
  12. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    HIV/AIDS is not just a sexual thing. I'm 100% straight but I've had two very frightening experiences with blood transfusions which, thankfully, were false alarms. Since then, whenever I have a surgery scheduled, I bank some of my own blood for the operation.
     
  13. DC_DEEP

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    Pecker - agreed. But I don't think any of us were implying that HIV was a gay disease or only transmitted sexually. The main point of the original post, as I understand it, was to ask: Why do people have unprotected sex, and should I assume that those who do are infected?

    At least, that is how I read it, and I answered accordingly.
     
  14. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I understand and I agree, DC. My deepest sympathies go out to all affected by this horrible disease whether transmitted sexually, by sharing syringes or by tainted blood transfusions.

    If kids could witness first hand how the infected are affected perhaps it would mean more to them but that's not likely to happen to those who most need to see it.
     
  15. Matthew

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    Re: Bug chasers - It just goes to show you that people can fetishize anything, no matter how deadly. After countless hours of unsung heroism by thousands of people fighting this disease over the last 20 years, many no longer with us, the least you can do is protect yourself. If you don't respect yourself enough, have a little respect for their efforts.
     
  16. B_caneadea

    B_caneadea New Member

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    __________________________________________________________
    I remember a documentary a guy made that followed his partner's slow decline from AIDS infection until his death, where he looked like just skin and bones. At the the end, the surviving partner sang the song, "You Are My Sunshine" while his dying partner was breathing his last breath. It was one of the most emotional things I have ever seen.

    Maybe the young people today would benefit from seeing that.
     
  17. WestCoastTuba1982

    WestCoastTuba1982 New Member

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    As of recetly Ive met someone who is HIV+ ... he's a very great person and we've hung out a few times so far and really have been hitting it off well and are considering possibly dating in the future ... he told me he was HIV+ befoer we even met in person and Im totally fine with it ( Im neg myself ). And him and I have already talked about IF we were to date and be in a relationship together, that we are going to find out what all is safe, what is not, what to do to help prevent me from getting it, down to the last little detail, before we were to do anything physically at all. I know dating someone who is HIV+ puts me at risk on a daily basis of getting it ( pending if and when we do anything phyiscally ) But I feel that if we do truly care about one another we wont let anything get between us. And as I said waiting till we know everything that can be done safely before doing anyhting. so that shows he cares alot too to be waiting to do anything till we know what all is safe in every way.
     
  18. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    I've been in a monogamous relationship for 5 years now. Before that I was mostly the "condom queen" but I had a few slips. In my drinking and drugging days...that's another story. After I got sober, a very good friend of mine who was HIV+ kept bugging me to get tested. I was terrified but finally caved in. He was supposed to go with me to get the results. He OD'd the day before. I still wonder if it was really accidental. I tested neg by the way. And during those 5 days of waiting, I thought of every nasty piece of ass I'd ever had. I thought of the time one guy was fucking me (his ex had AIDS but he was neg) and the rubber broke. A neat little aside on that one was that his ex never told him he had AIDS and he had to find his meds and call a doctor to find out what they were for. After that I was much more careful. I remember one afternoon I had a beautiful Latino guy over to my place. I fucked him a couple times and only had 2 condoms. Things got hot again and he said "fuck me some more". I told him I didn't have any more condoms and he just pushed his ass up in the air and tried to shove my cock in. It didn't happen. When I got together with my current BF, he always looked uncomfortable when he ran across condoms in my place (from before). I told him he should be glad I used them.

    I have to comment on people in a LTR. Be absolutely certain you trust your partner. A friend of mine was 7 years into his relationship when his partner brought HIV home. I wish this was an isolated case.

    Thank all of you for sharing your experiences, especially BBB2.5 because your perspective is especially valuable.

    I have to wonder how many into BB have buried their friends. I have.

    I'm not going to list all the other nasty diseases you can get from not using rubbers as this isn't health class. The thing that is loud and clear to me with this whole BB thing is:
    No self-respect.
     
  19. madame_zora

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    I won't detail the death stories I know from working in cemeteries, but suffice it to say AIDS is not funny, nor should it be dismissed because of the heat of the moment. Those who were unfortunate enough to contract it before it was publicly discussed bear witness to the seriousness of this largely preventable disease. Now that we know, ingorance is inexcusable.

    BBB2.5, I am elated to hear that you've been managing for 14 years, may you have many many more.
     
  20. BBB2.5

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    Sorry everyone..I had guests and was not able to get to the reply until today.
    Thanks to you all for your words of wisdom. I think being open about my Life with HIV helps to bring some kind of understanding for those that may not know what it is like to live with this disease. While it has not been a fun ride. It has taught me to have greater respect for my life.

    To those that may indulge in the acts of unsafe play time...just make sure your really do understand the consequences of your actions.
    :tongue:
     
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