Question about being Bi

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by sasami006, Oct 22, 2008.

  1. sasami006

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    I consider myself to be Bisexual; however, I am in no way attracted to men. I'm only attracted to girls. For example, If I see another guy walking down the street, i don't think to myself, wow that's a cute guy. The main reason I consider myself Bi is because I love cock plain and simple. I would have to say this to another guy, "I would love to suck your cock (if you prommise to cum on my face :wink:) but i'm not intersted in a romantic relationship of any sort." For some reason I just don't see other guys that way. First of all, would you all still consider me to be Bi? If yes, would you call this a common Bi behavior or am I special. :biggrin1:
     
  2. D_Brecock Evileye

    D_Brecock Evileye New Member

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    I have a question for you. I have no desire to sleep with another man. I do love to look at realy good looking and built guys, nude or not. I also do not mind them looking at, lusting after, or commenting sexualy on me. What dose that say about me?
    as for your question. I do not knw about common but I think that you are most certinly bi.
     
  3. D_Brecock Evileye

    D_Brecock Evileye New Member

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    I would have to say, yes you are bi. I dont know about common.
    Now, I have a question for you on this subject. I like to look at good looking and or very well built guys, but I have no desire to have sex with them. I also enjoy having gay/bi men hit on me and complement me. I dont even mind them seeing me nude.(obviously.) What dose all this make me?
     
  4. D_Brecock Evileye

    D_Brecock Evileye New Member

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    Sorry about that, Computer problems.:redface:
     
  5. Xcuze

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    How can you say you are in no way attracted to men & then start banging on about how much you like cock - the very thing that makes a man different from a woman? I dont think you should worry about labels, frankly. But your taste seems confused to say the least. You sound like a Tranny lover from what youve described.
     
  6. sasami006

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    Obviously this is something that's strange to you, and i'm sure it may sound confusing to a lot of people.
    If anything I would call myself a Cock Lover.
     
  7. zayin21

    zayin21 Member

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    Hey...I'm like you. I'd never go out on a date with a guy. But I enjoy hooking up with other guys. I enjoy feeling another cock in my mouth or another guy on my cock, feeling a nice ass....but I don't have any desire to hold hands or date another guy. I love women and can't get enough of making out with them, sleeping with them, going to dinner with them, walking down the street holding them...it's a romantic and love thing with women. With guys, it's just a pure sexual thing. So I get you! :)

    You're not the only one out there like that.
     
  8. sasami006

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    You are much better with words than me. :smile:
     
  9. D_Fowlmouth Chickenchoker

    D_Fowlmouth Chickenchoker Account Disabled

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    I'm kind of the same way. With girls, it's about sex and an intimate and emotional relationship. But even though I can get equally turned on by guys, it's more of a fun sport when it comes to sex. :biggrin1:
     
  10. Roscoz

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    if you like cock your bi
     
  11. Xcuze

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    A persons sexuality is determined by their sexual desires not their social desires. You guys are saying you want sex with men but no relationships. That doesnt make you straight! Youre all at least bi-sex from what you've said.
     
  12. killerb

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    well said...

    the OP says he's not attracted to men at all, but he likes dick...:confused:

    dude...you like to have sex with men...

    you like what you like...just be honest with yourself and others & forget about labels...
     
  13. biguy2738

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    Buddy, first off, I applaud you for the risk that you've taken by being self honest; for the way that you've asked yourself questions surrounding your sexual identity and then turned to us for input. Oftentimes it is an invitation to be forced to acknowledge or hear things that one doesn't really want to. I respect you for valuing yourself enough to desire to be true to who you really are. :wink:

    From what you've shared, I'd consider you to be bisexual. However, you are the only person capable of being able to identify what your orientation is, so don't stop asking yourself the good and very necessary questions that you currently are asking!!

    To a certain degree, I'd say that your attraction to the penis/m2m sex acts and not the entire person is fairly common among bisexual men...though it's difficult to make it concrete or to put it down in black and white. We're delving into a grey area because there are many things to consider, things that I'll go into a little later in my post.

    I respectfully have to say that I disagree with you. :rolleyes: I will explain why I say so a little later...

    ...and I get you! :wink::biggrin1:

    I think that if you looked at the profiles of people responding to the OP (as well as the OP's) you'd see that no one claimed to be straight. Everyone's profiles indicate that they are bisexuals of varying "degrees".

    I don't understand where in the OP social desires come into the mix. Physical sexual activity, erotic fantasy and affectionate relationships make up our sexual orientations...and that's exactly what the OP spoke about.


    I've moderated a male only bisexual forum for over a year, though I've been a member on that site for a bit longer. In the time that I've been there, I'd say about 80% of the members have expressed the very thing that you have; that they are attracted to the penis but not "what it's attached to". :biggrin1: There have been discussions about post-orgasm shame where after quite a number of guys have cum after watching gay/bi porn or hooked up with a guy, they a filled with shame, ask themselves "WTF?" and in the case of a hookup, get dressed and run. There have also been discussions surrounding an aversion to kissing men where some have said that they can't kiss the guy because it's a casual hookup, for others the thought of kissing a guy is just YUCK! and for the rest of us, we'd happily kiss a guy anytime. :wink: So I think it's safe to say that you are showing signs of leaning towards the bisexual arena and that your feelings/attractions are normal.

    There are so many factors that come into play and are in need of consideration. For a start, bisexuality is not a black and white reality - there are over 13 different forms WHAT IS BISEXUALITY? and it comes in varying degrees (a teeny attraction to men, an attraction to men but less than one's attraction to women, an equal attraction to men and women, an attraction to women but less than one's attraction to men and a teeny attraction to women), at times it may not be a constant reality because one can go through peaks and troughs of attraction (at one moment one may be highly turned on by the thought of men, m2m action and penises....and the next moment, one is only turned on by women, then other times both men and women turn one on whilst on other occasions one may not be as highly "charged" as one normally is) and lastly, one has to contend with slotting oneself into the gay and straight worlds where misunderstanding and misinformation are rife.

    It's safe to say that it's a confusing reality and one doesn't always find the right answers first time round. At the onset of my own journey about 14 months ago, I initially thought that I was an alternating and emotional bisexual however it has ended up being that I am an integrated and emotional bisexual. Things can be confusing and finding the right answers is a process...the important thing is to keep asking the questions and to constantly seek a healthy balance where neither you nor anyone else is harmed in the process.

    The same rings true with some of the guys who initially professed that they are only attracted to cocks and/or m2m action. As their inner journey progressed, they came to see that this wasn't really the case. In some instances they believed that this was true because they were subconsciously being control freaks or afraid that desiring more from a guy would mean that they were gay.

    So even though you are finding that you are having your questions answered, it's not all cut and dry and I need to make you aware of that fact. There are men who have absolutely no attraction to men or having a relationship with them but there are also men who have no attraction out of fear in some way or form. Nonetheless, regardless of where you may stand in all of this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE because there are many who share your desires/thoughts/feelings and are grappling with the same questions that you currently are.

    All of the best and safe travels!

    Oh yes, I'm attaching links to two personal essays that may be of use to you:

    COME AS YOU ARE

    BI ANXIETY
     
    #13 biguy2738, Oct 22, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2008
  14. kingkhan

    kingkhan New Member

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    I feel the same way as the op. I like the look of penis and can get aroused but, a man's face or body does nothing for me. It would be easier if I was attracted to the whole man but, I am not and can't force myself to. Women on the other hand I love everything about them their face their body and I like women in a romantic way. I get the feeling this is common for bisexual men to have these feelings and I wouldn't worry about it. When I first realized this It was two years ago watching tranny porn and I did have guilt and disgust afterward to the point where I would throw up. This year I got the nerve to do oral with another guy but, again I had guilt and had anxiety so bad that I made myself sick to my stomach. I guess I just have to give it time.
     
  15. sam_solo26

    sam_solo26 New Member

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    Fantastic post biguy. You hit everything I was going to. I'm not sure if the OP has already done this, but I'd be careful about saying you'd never have a romantic relationship with a guy. Consider just the concept, without also considering every social reaction and consequence, without rationalizing about labels and bypassing some possible inner guilt about being different. Because, from what I can understand, if you have male friends then you are probably capable of emotional relationships with them. And you've confessed to being a "cock lover". Why can't those two things be smashed together in your case?

    I only bring this up because it has been a rare case where I honestly have talked to someone in a similar situation as yours and said, "Hey they aren't just trying to make themselves feel special. They actually just like cock." So I'd say consider the possibility if you haven't. You may get a twitch in your eye, a furrowed brow and a look of mild disgust at the thought, and you may decide based on that reaction that you must not like guys that way. Try keeping a pleasant smile when you imagine being romantic with a guy, whatever that means for you. If you don't have to seriously fight the urge to frown, then I'd reconsider your stance on guys. Best of luck!
     
  16. Phil Ayesho

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    I understand exactly what he's saying.
    In my case, although I am attracted to women in every sense... the only thing I am interested in about guys is their cocks.

    In my case I was conditioned to respond to cock before puberty.

    I can not help the sexual repsonse I have to cock... even though I have never had the slightest urge to kiss a guy nor even to caress any part of a guy other than his genitals.

    I think Gay is a separate term from homosexual, because homosexual relegates the attraction to mere sex... whereas Gay men are attracted to other men on an emotional level every bit as much as on a purely sexual level.
    Thus- I think there is distinct difference between "gay" feelings... and "homosexual" feelings...

    A great many men who have perfectly happy and normal sexual relations with women, nevertheless, occasionally crave just sexual contact with other men.

    These I would categorize as homosexual encounters... as opposed to Gay encounters.

    And, from the number of men I have known who would talk honestly about such things... and a study of history... I think for men to have homosexual urges is perfectly normal. The percentage of men who NEVER have a homoerotic thought or fantasy is probably about the same as the percentage of Gay men who NEVER have a thought about women.
    Leaving the vast majority as some mix of emotional preference and sexual openness.


    To answer the OP... yes, I think your feelings make you Bi SEXUAL... but not necessarily Gay.

    And I think that for men with the right amount of testosterone in their system... thinking about sex, of any kind, is perfectly normal...

    We All love our own cocks.... its not that much of a leap to enjoy other mens' cocks just as much.
     
  17. nico61

    nico61 New Member

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    I am exactly like you, even worse (or better) :biggrin1:, I like only if they are very big :tongue:.
     
  18. trumasseur

    trumasseur New Member

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    when will humans gain the realization that it isn't about belonging to a group, a gender, or a label? prime examples of how harmful/inaccurate generalization of anything can be.
    true, healthy attraction is between the individuals involved. when a person accepts their feelings and responses to another without being overshadowed or shamed by environmental and societal constraints, then they know they will have the best of possible relationships.:hug:

    The phrase, "We are only human" is complete with "unevolved"
     
  19. jza

    jza New Member

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    This is exactly how I feel everytime I do cum after watching gay porn. It may sound stupid, but it's just that, I love the sex and how they are, but a relationship? No way.

    Personally, I'm trying to come to terms with myself as well. I can in no way, ever see myself in a relationship with a man. It just doesn't seem or look right to me. Random hook ups, their bodies, sex, and the cock are just great to me. However, I love women, and could without a doubt marry them. Having kids isn't my forte, but I wouldn't mind having a couple. I dunno, what do you all think?
     
    #19 jza, Oct 22, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2008
  20. B_Austin Blue

    B_Austin Blue New Member

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    I'd say you're straight but love sex with men. There's nothing wrong with identifying as straight and still love having oral with men.
     
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