Question About Friend

warrior08

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Hello

This is about a friend that lies and I'm trying to figure out why. He just introduced me to a lady friend of his (I do the same to him). The week before he said he was out by himself and he was with her. Before that he asked me to help with putting down hardwood flooring at a condo and I said yes. The day of he said his kids would help, but to find out they didn't help. The lady friend brought a shirt to the house that he let her wear. Sometimes he stays at my spot.. Today he asked if I'm free Monday or Tuesday. I said Tuesday. Hours later, all of a sudden he has a lot to do on Tuesday. Scratching my head like here he goes with another lie. Mind you we are best friends. Some people think he's bi. My thing is why would he lie about hanging out. I've never tried to get at none of his lady friends. He lies to me like I'm his girl or side piece. On yeah he's married also.
 

Complex8

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Maybe it's habitual. He's married, has a lady on the side and then there's you. Hard to keep stories straight when you're constantly trying to deceive someone. I wouldn't read too much into it - people often 'lie' about hanging out when they have 'better' plans that come up.
 
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njersey

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There are a lot of reasons people lie: deception, underlying social anxiety, mental illness or poor memory. If your friend is unable to maintain deception over the course of a single conversation, I would either refer him for a cognitive evaluation or ask, tactfully, if there are any issues with substance abuse.

You could also, you know, just ask him about it. If your relationship is strong, it should withstand you calling him out on a lie. Maybe explain that you enjoy spending time with him and that it disappoints you when he cancels plans.