Question about Menopause

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by DV8, Jul 22, 2011.

  1. DV8

    DV8
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    I'm curious- how crazy do women get when they're going through menopause? I'm asking about the depression, anxiety, and paranoia. What's that like?
     
  2. lik2c

    lik2c New Member

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    It, of course, goes without saying that all women do not experience menopause the same way. The most common symptoms are the "hot flashes", irritability, and fatique. Whoever developed the nomenclature missed the mark when it comes to "hot flash". That "flash" can last for 20 minutes. It is also not just an experience of heat. I experienced a feeling very similar to the feeling you get when you are startled and adrenaline is released. The stinging adrenaline feeling with the extreme flush of temperature with intense sweating is not only extremely uncomfortable, but is embarrassing. When suddenly, you find yourself ruining all your silk blouses, spending twice as much at the drycleaner, and unable to sit through a board meeting, it effects your sense of self to say the least. This group of symptoms coupled with the depression, fatigue, or lowered self esteem can play havoc on a career; not to mention the effect on your closest relationships. Many women get little to no education, warning, or help until a reputation has been damaged. Even female physicians have a tendency to simply prescribe the latest medication marketed to them instead of truly getting the full picture of how this change of life is changing your life! I also experienced an increase in libido which was disconcerting. (Not one physician or website has ever mentioned this little surprise of a symptom) What does a middle aged, relatively successful, single woman do when she suddenly feels like there hasn't been a toy developed that "hits the spot"? Our society is only beginning to acknowledge that older women have something to offer. But, I'd personally like to choke the fool who came up with the "Cougar" craze! Not that I wouldn't be happy to find a compatible lover of whatever age seemed to make sense but guys who think that women just "need a good fuck" and all will be well are not usually what I consider "compatible".

    Thanks, Dante, I needed that! :)
     
  3. ManlyBanisters

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    About 42 on the Verminkti scale... normally.
     
  4. DV8

    DV8
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    No problem! LoL, and I'm glad you were able to get that out. I also want to thank you for sharing. I'm asking because my mom has sorta lost her mind. She swears up and down that she's dying of lung cancer. Not a single doctor has told her that she has cancer, but she believes it does. She's become such a hypochondriac, it's getting insane. She's extremely paranoid, has mood swings, depression, has a hard time sleeping. In fact, she paces a lot. She's the only person I know who can take one and a half ambiens and only sleep for 5 hours a night if that. It all started 2 months ago, and it's getting crazy. I of course haven't told her that I think it's the beginning of menopause, but what can ya do?
     
  5. lik2c

    lik2c New Member

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    That is a conundrum! I'm not sure how far you want to go into this issue. But, you could do some research and print an article from the net that may address some of the issues she's facing and leave it where she could see it. The hormonal fluctuations can wreck havoc with your sanity. The fatigue may be what is most troubling for her. That is a function of the slowing metabolism. This may be why she suspects cancer. The insomnia is a symptom I forgot to rant about. But, you can be assured it is related. I found regular massage helped me relax and the correct hormone replacement therapy is Amazingly effective. Good Luck (you're a good son)
     
  6. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Actually if I were you I'd go and personally see her usual physician and talk to him or her about your concerns.
    Chances are that she hasn't discussed all the symptoms she's exhibiting to the doctor and really you do need to discuss how it's affecting your quality of life.
    This can be done in a very caring concerned way and even though the doctor will not discuss the specifics of your mothers condition during the consultation perhaps it gives him other areas to investigate next time he sees her.

    This way you keep the peace without offending her by daring to suggest there is an problem and the doctor can ask her the right questions and hopefully get the right tests done to get to the bottom of the issue.
     
  7. B_prettyswinggirl

    B_prettyswinggirl New Member

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    I have to say I don't know of any physician in the US who would discuss a patient with a family member without express consent. If she truly is feeling that bad, something other than menopause may be wrong. I haven't quite reached the menopause stage, but I knew something was very wrong with me years before the doctors found a huge tumor on one of my parathyroid glands. They threw Ambien and painkillers at me and thought I was a complainer too.

    Listen to your mom and try going with a new primary care doctor with her, someone who has a reputation of listening to their patients and actually have a detailed history taken of her long lasting and new symtoms. It may help nail down what is wrong with her. You know her better than anyone! Good luck and I hope this helped.
     
  8. dolfette

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    if she ever found out, she may never forgive him.
    i know that i wouldn't.
    there are medical confidentiality laws that control what a doctor discusses with family anyway.
    he has absolutely no right, unless she is insane and at risk of harming herself and others, to treat her like a child and go over her head.

    what she tells and does not tell her doctor is her right to choose.
     
    #8 dolfette, Jul 22, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2011
  9. DV8

    DV8
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    Thank you for your insight. I forgot to mention that I've taken her to emergency room 3 times in the past 2 months, and she's gone once on her with doctors. At first, she swore up and down that she had esophageal cancer. She had an endoscopy done, and there was nothing found. Once she found that out, she was actually disappointed, almost like she wants to have cancer. Immediately, she went to lung cancer. She's had chest x-rays done and ct scans, and no one has found anything. She keeps saying that she thinks that it's spread to her bones, and she can feel a lump in her shoulder- at the joint (she's dislocated that shoulder twice in the past). She believes that there's a tumor at her lower back, and it hurts a lot- the doctor touched it, and stated that it wasn't a tumor, but muscle and nerves.

    I honestly don't believe she has cancer. I listen to her, but she's always irrational. I took my laptop with me the last time we went because we're always there for hours. The doctor looked at my screen, and later on she started freaking out, thinking that I was typing messages to him. I never touched my keyboard as we spoke, and she knew that. She's just paranoid. It's crazy. She goes off screaming and cursing at me, and the next day, she wants to speak to me calmly like nothing's ever happened. It's just too much.

    She has seen multiple doctors in the past 2 months- four different emergency room doctors, 2 different family practice physicians (she just switched), and 3 different specialists- no exaggeration. It's getting crazy! They've prescribed her meds for the anxiety, but she doesn't take it because she believes they're just trying to dope her up. It's just too much.
     
  10. dolfette

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    i'd be thinking mental illness rather than menopause.
    i mean, it could possibly be hormonal... but...
     
  11. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    That's my thinking as well. There are several mental illnesses with somatic complaints as a core symptom.
     
  12. luka82

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    She might have had a some sort of a mental problem that just got emphasised with menopause.
    I think you should take her to see a shrink, just to be safe.
     
  13. B_prettyswinggirl

    B_prettyswinggirl New Member

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    So she's being prescribed anxiety meds but won't take them and also not sleeping at night? Look at your family history, has anyone ever had early onset Alzhiemer's or Dementia? A Geriatric Specialist may be who your mom needs to see. They often are the first to dx and recognize problems in older adults that a normal Primary Care could overlook. It just sounds less and less menopausal in nature with how you're describing it... ER docs are the worst at assessing ongoing chronic conditions. I wouldn't take too much stock in what you've been told by them. They're trained to deal with immediate life and death situations, not something as subtle as what your mom is going through.
     
  14. dolfette

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    and obvious mental health problems are the one thing where the right thing to do might be to go running to a doctor without her permission.

    if i were you, i'd go to her doctor and request a psych evaluation.
     
  15. MisterSix

    MisterSix New Member

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    My mom turned into a psycho bitch, complaining every five minutes about her hot flashes. And then resorted to yelling a lot.
     
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