I have a best friend who I suspect may be bi and has feelings for me. He is married with kids. We've been friends for a good three years and became best friends last year. Lately I've been noticing some things he do. I'll give a little list. Maybe I'm reading into it too much. I'm straight by the way, but have had curious thoughts. I've noticed these: when I drive, he always turns to look at me and talk. After a couple drinks, he has his hands on my lower back to talk in my ear when at a bar or lounge. He's done it quite a bit. He'll call me and talk when his wife is not around all the time. I caught him staring at me and he looked away quick. There's a few more, but this will be too long. Am I right or my mind playing tricks on me?
Question About My Best Friend
- Thread starter warrior08
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malakos
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What does it matter? Shouldn't you treat it as platonic affection if it seems there may be nothing to it, or subtly discourage it if you think he may be coming onto you?
It does not matter. If he has feelings for me nothing will change. Still be my best friend. I was just curious about what I was noticing.
if you're comfortable with it, why not put yourself in a situation where he may see you nude (locker room, etc) and if you catch him looking, your suspicions may be true. If he gets hard, he's definitely interested. I've seen my best friend naked multiple times. We are close, lived together in college, and changed together and he has even showered in my ensuite shower in college and been on a guys holiday together. I'm gay and I've found it hard to not notice or not get hard when he's nude around me. He doesn't take any notice and knows it's a natural reaction to attraction. Plus, he takes it as a compliment that he's physically fit. It's a way of catching him out but you need to be comfortable doing it. And he obviously has to be comfortable changing or going on guy's trips.
Maybe it can strengthen the friendship further and create a better bond in the long run.
I've seen my best friend naked multiple times. We are close, lived together in college, and changed together and he has even showered in my ensuite shower in college and been on a guys holiday together. I'm gay and I've found it hard to not notice or not get hard when he's nude around me. He doesn't take any notice and knows it's a natural reaction to attraction. Plus, he takes it as a compliment that he's physically fit. It's a way of catching him out but you need to be comfortable doing it. And he obviously has to be comfortable changing or going on guy's trips.
Maybe it can strengthen the friendship further and create a better bond in the long run.
I think you are right. We have planned a road trip. It almost canceled a couple days ago. We got into a big argument. Thought it was close to end of our friendship. It was dumb. We hashed it out hugged and got emotional. As we were hugging he said he needs me, he can confide in me, wants us to always be friends, and he said his relationship with his wife is deep, but with me its deeper. I didn't know how to answer that.
My advise would be the same if you were a woman. You know he is married. To me wether it is streight sex or gay sex. Its would be wrong cause he is married.
I get it. I won't let it get that far. Just wondering the things that are said, what he may mean.
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Usually I’d reply with open your pie hole and use your words, but if you are misreading, it could harm the friendship.
take a moment to wonder, then move on.
take a moment to wonder, then move on.
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