Question about oral sex

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Ellerby Eatsprick, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    I hope I posted in the right place !

    I enjoy giving oral sex more than receiving. I love giving oral sex to a man and will go down on him for as long as he allows me to or until I make him cum. I don't necessarily need to have oral sex ALL the time, but once in a blue moon, I crave a man's tongue on my pussy and crave that honest and good-as-heaven orgasm or two from oral sex... However, I dread it when a man goes down on me...

    As you can see, my problem with receiving oral sex is that men do not go down long enough. I'm not sure if that esteems from men being selfish or something else... Most men I've been with, go down for a minute to five. It does not take me a minute or five for me to attain orgasm. I will be in absolutely delight and pleasure, however the noises I make does not mean I am having an orgasm. I like to think I am vocal during oral sex and give verbal cues letting him know he's doing things right. Ie. "I'm tightening up. Don't stop what you are doing... Those are perfect cues for helping a man bring a woman to climax. Cuz seriously, heavy breathing and moaning, isn't just enough for a man to interpret.

    When I was experimenting with women, I tried oral sex on a woman. So, I KNOW all about how your neck starts to hurt, how your tongue starts to tired, how it's hard to breathe with her pussy folds smothering your passage of air. And yes, I know it takes a long time to bring her to orgasm. But all that is worth it when a woman cums from your oral skills.

    Is it wrong for me to tell a man that if he goes down there, he's not coming back up until I say so?

    And that if he is not up for the job not to bother going down on me... AT ALL.

    Because... seriously... when a man goes down on me for 1-5 minutes, it kinda disappoint me / annoys me / pisses me off but not enough to put me out of the mood...


    Because seriously 1-5 minutes does not cut it. Of the partners I've had, only two men have been able to bring me to orgasm and "forced" me to have a few more orgasms by their tongue / mouth.

    I actually have no idea how long it would take me to climax, as it depends on what technique the guy is using. I want oral sex to go right to the end where I say I am cumming, and then have him try to force a few more orgasms out of me.
     
  2. Stretch

    Stretch New Member

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    I can't speak for other guys but nothing makes me hotter then going down on a woman and bringing her to orgasm. I really love it and will stay there as long as it takes. As far as neck and tongue stress, it's just a matter of slight shifts of position and using your lips as well. Many women are too sensitive to continue right after they cum, but when able it's amazing to keep going. If the guy is really there for you, and he should be, then he can sense your pleasure and you should be able to communicate where you are and tell him to keep going. Short of that you can always clamp your legs around his head and hold him there until you cum. :smile:
     
  3. Ganieda

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    It's like you took the words right out of my mouth.

    A guy will push your head down on his cock if you try to leave before finishing the job... so you should be able to do the same.
     
  4. dolfette

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    ''don't stop!''
     
  5. ZOS23xy

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    If it's more than seven minutes, can I get a snorkel?
     
  6. Ganieda

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    This is quite true. Don't start if you are going to stop/quit before the job is done.
     
  7. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    Ganieda- I absolutely love it when a man holds his hand down on my head because it tells me to keep going and sometimes he helps with the tempo as well. It turns me on even more. I know not every women like it when a man puts his hand on her head, but for me, but I do. :D

    Doffette - I have said "Don't stop" but they still stop, regardless. :/
     
  8. dolfette

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    then get up, get dressed and leave.

    or return the favour!
    30 seconds of eye wateringly good BJ, then just stop, get up and leave.

    if they ask you why then point out that you thought leaving people halfway there and frustrated was acceptable by their standards.

    ...however if they genuinely really dislike going down, if you can live without it, then you need some kind of compromise.
     
    #8 dolfette, Dec 5, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2009
  9. rob_just_rob

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    No. Some guys would be turned on to hear that. Others might not, but at least you've made your expectations clear.



    Not wrong to say that either. Incomplete oral sex is an awful tease. I've had women quit on blowjobs occasionally and it's really frustrating, and not really something one can complain about unless one is VERY tactful.

    There ARE positions and angles of approach where the jaw/neck/tongue ache is minimized, first off. I'm not saying these positions and angles will work for everyone, but I think it's a matter of doing some experimentation.

    I have had girlfriends who took a LONG time to cum from oral sex, and ones who climaxed from oral less than half the time. But 1-5 minutes doesn't cut it, I agree. In the rare cases when I had to quit due to exhaustion/numbness, it was after 30-45 minutes. That's frustrating for both.
     
  10. dolfette

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    question:

    how are you reacting when they're down there?
    if you put on a show, make them feel like the world's greatest tongue act, then they'll tend to want to stay there longer. guys like to feel like great lovers.

    yet to shag the guy that method didn't work on.
     
  11. KTF40

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    It depends imo. I LOVE going down on a girl. I could eat my ex out all day. But that's not really the case with my current woman. Why? She doesn't taste good and she is really hairy. And I even like hair, but I can't get anywhere with this woman without getting a huge chunk of hair stuck in my mouth.

    So here is what I would reccomend. Communicate effectively to your partner about oral sex. First off, if you want the guy to go down on you for a while, the least you could do is make sure you are trimmed the way he likes it. Secondly, figure out whether he actually likes it or not. If he doesn't like going down on you, not much you can do about it. If he does like it, and seems genuinely enthusiastic, tell him your preferences. Whether that is how to touch you or how long you need oral to last. Just communicate with your partner. Whether that's before you fuck or after you fuck.
     
  12. D_Kaye Throttlebottom

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    I remember an ex-boyfriend trying to give me oral and I even said "hey I don't need that", because I really don't. Sometimes it's too much sensation for me and it's irritating. He insisted, but it was quite clear he did not know what he was doing. I thought it odd that I would care about it, but that was because a previous ex-boyfriend loved giving me oral, b/c he just enjoyed the taste, so I let him. I prefer to be penetrated, so, we communicated that way with one another. However, this bf wasn't in to it and yet felt he *HAD* to even when I said I did not need it. When he tried just rubbing his face on there, I said "okay, that's too much, but thankyou." (God, just stop).

    He wanted me to give him head, but he didn't know how to just ask me to do that, so he suggested we 69. Remembering how much he doesn't do it or enjoy it, I just said, if you want me to go down on you, I'll oblige, but I don't need it. Oh no, he insisted doing it each other. Ofcourse he didn't last 15 seconds performing and just said "it's too much" but wanted me to continue performing on him. So he just fingered me while I performed on him. It pissed me off, how selfish it was and I stopped performing, when he did. "Babe, I'm not in the mood" and went back to sleep. Granted, by that time we were having other issues in our relationship and it was clear to me how he was more about himself and my interest was waning, because he was acting this way even when we had sex.

    A selfish lover or a manipulative lover is nothing to suffer. Either they are willing to give you pleasure or they are not. Some men just like to receive and some just take it for granted, when you are enthusiastic about giving.
     
    #12 D_Kaye Throttlebottom, Dec 5, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2009
  13. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    I'm reacting quite so verbally and physically. Physically, my body will arch, shudder or tense up.

    Verbally, I'll moan at such volume and I guide them through saying stuff like "Right there, oh go back to that other tongue technique, Keep doing that thing you are doing, Don't stop what you are doing, No teeth, not so hard on the tongue, etc... "

    I'll tell them I'm starting to tighten up, that I'm getting there. I'll even say I'm so close.

    The closer I get, the heavier my breathing gets, and my moaning gets louder.

    (are you getting off from this?) :wink: LOL
     
  14. dolfette

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    ahem :redface:

    ok, then you're just dating aholes...taking a girl close and then stopping.
    my advice is to go gay!
     
  15. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    Most time I am shaved or trimmed. And I'm pretty sure I smell good and taste good but taste and smell are subjective, right? I might smell/taste great for someone else and yucky for another person.

    I suppose I should be upfront with the guy, when we meet or before sex happens that that's how I want it.

    As for you, why don't you tell your current woman to shave? And if she doesn't taste great, is there something she could do? (Is she aware of this?)
     
  16. dolfette

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    tell her to?

    if there's no infection, if it's clean, if she's not living off junk food, then it's just how she tastes and there's not much can be done. general good health helps but some people just taste bad.
     
  17. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    That came out wrong ! He could nicely ASK ! (Ie, I want to feel a shaved pussy, etc...)...He could offer to shave her.

    I am quite aware people can just generally taste bad, but sometimes it can be something easily fixed or other ways to mask the taste.
     
    #17 D_Ellerby Eatsprick, Dec 5, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2009
  18. rob_just_rob

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    It's not always easy to be upfront, especially in the early stages of a relationship when you are trying not to say anything offputting. And that's how bad sexual habits can develop.
     
  19. KTF40

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    Yeah, be upfront with the guy. My ex would ask potential partners questions before she slept with them such as, "do you like going down?" and stuff like that. If she didn't get the answers she wanted, she wouldn't sleep with them. Being honest with your partner before hand might help you weed out guys you aren't compatible with sexually or ensure that you get the oral sex you want.

    As for my current partner, luckily I haven't had to go down on her too much. She wasn't honest about her sexual history so I made her go get tested so I've been in the clear for the past 2 weeks or so. When I mentioned about trimming a little she said she doesn't really know how to do it and will break out or some shit. Which doesn't really add up because I'm pretty sure you can trim with an electric shaver and not worry about breaking out but whatever. I'll have to go down on her the next time we meet though and if I don't enjoy it that much I'll probably mention my preference again. As for the taste, it's not terrible or anything, just not good. Very plainish but not in a good way. Don't think there is anything you can do about it.
     
  20. Ganieda

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    I like it sometimes.
    I get the helping with the tempo thing, but... after a while,
    I am like... dude! Get your hand off my head!
     
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