Question about orgasms

[Ilja]

Hello ladies,

I have a hard time getting my girlfriend to orgasm from penetrative sex. I want to ask how much time of actual penetration do you need to reach orgasm? I know it varies, but averagely?

 

[MickeyLee]

some women will not cum from penetrative sex
that's not to say PIV doesn't feel amazing, just that she is not getting the right stimulation to orgasm
your time is better spent learning how she likes to be externally stimulated than you are to waste ya time trying to get a vaginal orgasm out of a clitoral woman

 

[693987]

What ML said. Some women flat out won't. Pressure to orgasm is an instant turn off for me and at least a moderate amount of other women.

I get most of mine from penetration but the amount of arrogant, braggadocios men who have made it their mission to try and "make" me orgasm from oral in spite of my flat out telling them it doesn't really do it for me? It's a pretty damn large number.

If your lady is having orgasms from a particular kinda thing already, awesome. You would be better served asking her what things work, what doesn't, and if there are any things she wants to try. There is no "here's how to make a woman do x" answer.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

How difficult is it for her to climax from other sorts of stimulation? Like I said in another thread... if I'm getting off, I'm getting off and that's the whole goal. So, are you just frustrated that she's not cumming... or that she's not coming the way you maybe want her to?

Not trying to be rude/harsh... we just need more info.

eta: Fade and MickeyLee posted goodness too. Take that shiz to heart

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

It's almost 100% guarantee that a penis or an insertable object will not make me have an orgasm.

Many, many women are like me. But I am very orgasmic. I can have a couple dozen in a half hour easily. But it's from clitoral stimulation not vaginal stimulation.

She's completely normal and you expectations are unrealistic for most women. Leave her alone about it. Nothing more unsexy when someone makes you feel pressured to orgasm. It's almost fate at that point it won't happen.

Your penis in her vagina might never bring her to orgasm. You need to be ok with that. Learn a lot about clitoral stimulation.

 

[Ilja]

Thank you for your time, but did not answer my question. All the things you wrote, I already know.

 

[693987]

You didn't answer our questions either.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

If you already knew then your questions were stupid. A guy who knows all that wouldn't have such an asinine question like how much longer do I hump her until she blows.

 

[BetterFuture]

Thank you for your time, but did not answer my question.

Maybe not the "how much time" part of your question, but one of the important things I read in the responses from these women is that some women can have orgasms from PIV sex and some can't--even with infinite time. This has been my experience with women too.

I want to ask how much time of actual penetration do you need to reach orgasm? I know it varies, but averagely?

From my experience, for some women, infinite time (just can't orgasm that way), for others maybe 15-30 minutes, for others just a few minutes. Angles/positions can matter... again, this varies significantly from woman to woman.

Something you might want to try is adding clitoral stimulation during PIV sex. Either with your hand, her hand, a vibrator... whatever. Then she might have an orgasm during penetration, but just not from only the PIV stimulation.

 

[nailz]

Everyone is different.
I'm a penetration junkie
Clitoral stimulation gets me off in seconds, but I prefer the slow buildup of an orgasm from pure penetration

I don't think it's the norm, afaik most women are the opposite.

 

[693987]

I've literally had one clitoral stimuli only orgasm where someone else was involved. Otherwise, all my clitoral orgasms were from masturbation (and that really depends on my mood, whether I want to knock one out with a vibrator or a dildo). The orgasms I've had with others were all from penetration, sometimes adding a little clitoral stimuli, but that has been and still is rare.

In any case, it's not like I watch the clock while I'm fucking. If I was, that'd be some pretty spectacularly bad sex.

 

[TexanStar]

In any case, it's not like I watch the clock while I'm fucking. If I was, that'd be some pretty spectacularly bad sex.

You'd be doing it wrong. Everyone knows you're supposed to loop the yodel game from price is right while you're having sex and count how many times he crashes. Just a few seconds of that sensual, sexy music and I'm as hard as a rock.

 

[693987]

You'd be doing it wrong. Everyone knows you're supposed to loop the yodel game from price is right while you're having sex and count how many times he crashes. Just a few seconds of that sensual, sexy music and I'm as hard as a rock.

Gosh, it's so fantastic to learn new things about sex! I will have to try this next time I get frisky with Rem

 

[AlteredEgo]

Everyone is different.
I'm a penetration junkie
Clitoral stimulation gets me off in seconds, but I prefer the slow buildup of an orgasm from pure penetration

I don't think it's the norm, afaik most women are the opposite.

I want it all. Clitoral. Penetrative. I can distinguish between a few types of internal orgasms, each of which I need a different amount of time and different stimulation to receive. How much time? Fucked if I know.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

My mom, who has had a lot of sex admitted to me that she's never had an orgasm from penetration. She felt ashamed and broken until I told her many women havent.

 

[soren10]

There is a percentage of men that feel " worthless " ( well maybe this word is way to strong ) when they can't make a woman cum and have an orgasm from PIV sex, especially when they are not big enough or they don't have the size their GFs or wives prefer ( just like some of you here that prefer bigger ). This is what this men have in mind and people name this feeling as " insecurity ". In addition if there isn't proper communication between the couple, the man just assumes that for sure the bigger ones made his partner cum/orgasm and he is the one that can't get the job done or he is the one that can't make her orgasm/cum " hard ". This goes through the guy's mind at times. This is one of the main reasons men want to have a big penis, so that they can feel confident that " for sure " they can get the job done.

 

[693987]

Some women will not orgasm exclusively from penetration, no matter what the size of the thing that's penetrating them is. I don't see why this seems to be so difficult for some men to understand.

Clitoral orgasms are not automatically inferior. Penetrative orgasms are not automatically superior.

If the woman is still having orgasms from other things they do together, then what's the problem? It's the man's hang up and issue, that they may be turning into an issue and hang up for the woman.

I don't turn some men's inability to orgasm exclusively from receiving a blow job into some ego bullshit. Yet a surprising amount of men, especially on this site bring way too much fucking ego into the bedroom. How dare women not have orgasms the way the man wants them to!

 

[EllieP]

I was 30 years old before I had an orgasm from penetration. It really never bothered me before. I knew it was just me. That's the way I was wired. Oral will usually always get me off. And of course, external stimulation is pretty surefire.

Now, to give you some exact numbers will require a whole lot of information. And unfortunately, this is information you probably cannot provide. It'll have to come from her. She's really the only one who can answer that question.

Here's an idea: rather than ask us why don't you talk with her about it? Maybe she doesn't care, like me. Or maybe she does and has some ideas.

Just know that there are no hard and fast numbers on anything have to do with sexual intimacy, even with the same partner! Isn't that amazing? It's true. I can have the hardest orgasm from penetration one night, and the next he can't even penetrate because I can't get ready enough. Kind of frustrating until you learn to be creative.

But probably the very worst thing you can do when it comes to sex is to have expectations. I can't perform well under pressure. And please don't tell me what to do during fun time. I mean you can tell me what you want me to do to you, but don't tell me what I should be doing to get myself off.

 

[soren10]

Well I was talking about some men , not me in particular. This is what I get from some of the posts made by them. I just gave you some perspective on their thought process, full disclosure I may be way off.

 

[693987]

My mom, who has had a lot of sex admitted to me that she's never had an orgasm from penetration. She felt ashamed and broken until I told her many women havent.

But the men don't feel like manly powerful men unless the women orgasm the way the man wants them to

Shit, it took me a while to not be self-conscious about not orgasming from oral, since oral is such a big deal to a good portion of the female population.