Question about people that are into humiliation

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Joseph, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. Joseph

    Verified Gold Member

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    You know these guys.... SURE, I didn't know they existed for quite a bit, but I found out eventually. Sadly I've tortured someone's feelings tremendously already by complementing him and re-assuring him that his dick isn't small....

    Guys who LOoooooove to be SMALLER than other guys.

    I always thought that was quite unusual, some guys have small dicks and are all depressed over it. Guess it's good some guys can "get off" on the fact their smaller, then again I wonder if there do exist fetishists for these things who were "sadly" born with big dicks.... but that's not what I wanted to talk about here!

    What I did want to discuss is...... ehhhh these people... How does this fetish work exactly? I just thought that... such a person would be nice to "play around with" when one gets these urges to feel superior. You get to feel big, but the other guy just feels pleasure from this. Seems like a perfect deal, right?

    Well, not so much, cause every guy I saw so far doing this "thing", was into reeeeeaaaaallly harsh insulting, humiliating and if it was no c2c, but rather a real life thing, they wanted to get abused, I recall one guy even wanting to be burned with cigarettes!

    I tried asking a few of these guys if it always has to get so extreme for them, but none of them delivered me any answer, so I thought I'd ask. Are there guys whom like this "I'm way smaller than you" thing in a much less abusive way? Or if I'd ever want anything (even c2c) with a person like that, would I really have to act like a drunken brute to make the other person happy? Or did I just have really bad luck with finding the people who were into this?

    Thank you guys for the answers. I hope you can clarify my views on this topic
     
  2. Bbucko

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    Humiliation bottoms get a genuine erotic charge out of being verbally degraded and abused. I have had some experience with them over the past ~4-5 years but, strangely, never previously. I do not practice SPH because I find it scummy. But I accept that there are lots of things I do that appall others, too. We're all hardwired differently when it comes to these extreme forms of sexual behavior.

    This is very Dom(me)/sub stuff, and needs to be properly qualified as such. If the bottom is not especially submissive and/or has no interest in this sort of play, don't attempt it. Also make sure it stays verbal unless the bottom has previously agreed to integrate it into other, more physical forms of humiliation such as hard titplay, spanking/flogging, choking, C&BT (cock & ball torture), etc.

    The usual suspect will suggest a scenario, usually one s/he's been hatching for a while. There's an almost childlike glee in how they describe their fantasy, occasionally even suggesting specific verbiage I'm expected to follow. To my mind, this is scripted sex and that holds no allure for me at all.

    OTOH, I really enjoy scratching the surface and finding genuine ways to humiliate/verbally abuse them. I call this finding the real. When I'm successful, the results are electrifying for both parties. I find the real by picking up both verbal and non-verbal cues regarding what they are genuinely insecure about: maybe it's something physical, maybe it's something mental or emotional, but everybody's got some.

    I find them and experiment with the intensity with which these features are discussed. Sometimes it's easy, right on the surface; other times finding the real requires some deep exploration. I enjoy a good challenge now and then :biggrin1:.

    Some points to remember:

    1) The right candidate for this knows in advance what s/he's getting into some serious head-fuck play: informed consent is key;

    2) You confirm general expectations by advance discussion in a neutral setting;

    3) Set and respect limits: choose a safe-word if needed;

    4) Integrate the humiliation into the rest of the play so that it becomes a value-added feature, not a stand-alone act;

    5) Take your cues regarding how effective you are from the bottom's response, and know when enough's enough;

    6) Understand that this should never involve any actual contempt for the bottom who's being humiliated; rather, it should come from a place of respect and trust by both (or all) parties involved.

    Does that help at all?
     
  3. Joseph

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    :eek: woah! I already wasn't expecting any replies, but here I get such a professional response! And it actually doesn't deny what I said!

    From one side, a lot of them act as if they were not into it, but then they beg to be called a bitch, slap them and shit on them (I really had that happen.... NO, OF COURSE I DIDN'T DO IT! :mad: ). I don't know if I'd even be able to verbally abuse someone. Acting mean towards someone whom I like a lot (read that as the main condition for me to have sex with someone) does not seem entirely in my style, but who knows, perhaps I'll give it a go someday and with your tips, guess I'll be a bit prepared. Thanks :)
     
  4. sammyxviii

    sammyxviii New Member

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    I'm someone who enjoys being subjected to subtle verbal domination and humiliation about cock size. It's very popular in the straight community, but I've never come across other gay guys who are into the dominant side of it, either better hung men or guys who enjoy better hung men than me.

    I don't have a very good understanding of why I like it. I have high self esteem and I'm hung above average. I've tried exploring it through fictional fantasy, and just posted the beginning of one of my stories. But would love to find a dom guy for chat or real encounters.
     
  5. D_Peter Potamus

    D_Peter Potamus Account Disabled

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    I sort of relate to this. I have a smaller than average dick, but wouldn't like someone being cruel in their remarks to me. However, I do enjoy being "nicely" teased about my small size.
     
  6. ColonialBoy

    ColonialBoy Member

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    I'll start with a couple of quotes. "If it exists, there is porn for it - no exceptions.". Oscar Wilde once said people would be universally appalled if they knew what their neighbor's sex life was like.


    I started out with "regular" sex & soon found my way into more 'kinky' stuff like you find in Gay Bondage - BoundGods.com Now my interests extend into verbal, electro, bondage where the bottom cant move, pissing, anything to do with balls, hairy crotches, nude/clothed humiliation ... the list goes on.

    There seems to be a 'locus of interest' in this general area, guys tend to be agressive & want to spice things up. As bbucko says dont let it get routine, have boundaries but dont let the bottom know before what will happen.
     
  7. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

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    I love being humiliated. I love feeling the power, agression, and strength of a man.
     
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