Question About The Ace Spectrum

[opopmega]

Hello, guys!

Lately I've been trying to get more information about asexuality and I've found out about the ace spectrum. Can anyone please explain it to me? long story short, I can't understand how it's any different than the spectrum of allosexuality.

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, and allosexuality is the presence of it - two different extremes. By that definition, only in the presence of sexual attraction can there be a spectrum (how often it occurs). But some people also say asexuality encompasses 'little sexual attraction', which would make it possible for there to be an ace spectrum, but how is that any different than the 'allo' spectrum? Wouldn't 'little sexual attraction' fall under the allo spectrum? I've read it's how often you feel attraction, but that doesn't really make sense: take bisexuality, for example. It doesn't matter how often you get either kind of sexual attraction (for example, if 95% of the time it's same gender attraction, and only 5% it's different gender), the sexuality is bisexuality/pansexuality, not the one similar to the 'most predominant attraction'.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Think of ace as a band of the sexuality spectrum, overall, but an arc within itself.

an asexual might have some attraction to a person of the same gender, but not actually enough to want to have sex. So they’d be “homosexual” and “asexual.” If they were attracted to the opposite gender, but not enough to want sex (and I’d include low drive, at this point in either attraction), they’d be heterosexual and asexual.

if the drive is connected strongly to emotional attachment, that’s Demisexual territory. More “if X then Y.“
I’m straight in my romantic attachments, and I only can want sex if I’m emotionally (and energetically) attached.
So, I’m heterosexual and demisexual.

I personally view the ability to have/ enjoy sex without attachment as definitely allosexual.

 

[Acrab69]

That sounds like a philosophical question! Is the blackest black black or is it grey?

http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2019/back-black-new-blackest-material

 

[Acratopotes]

Hello, guys!

...if 95% of the time it's same gender attraction, and only 5% it's different gender), the sexuality is bisexuality/pansexuality, not the one similar to the 'most predominant attraction'.

But the labels straight, bisexual and gay are fairly blunt instruments. The Kinsey scale for describing the ratio of people's attraction to each sex has been around for years and has points for people who have some attraction to both sexes but more to one sex than the other.

So I think if you add asexuality into it you could probably best picture this as an isosceles triangle with the Kinsey scale as the base and true asexuality at the apex.

 

[nhguy78]

But the labels straight, bisexual and gay are fairly blunt instruments. The Kinsey scale for describing the ratio of people's attraction to each sex has been around for years and has points for people who have some attraction to both sexes but more to one sex than the other.

So I think if you add asexuality into it you could probably best picture this as an isosceles triangle with the Kinsey scale as the base and true asexuality at the apex.

I not replying to correct anyone but the straight-bi-gay spectrum actually a bit vague since some of us have split attractions: heteroromantic bisexual, aromantic homosexual, panromantic asexual, etc.

Homosexual and heterosexual could actually be seen on one side of the spectrum and pansexual/omnisexual be on the other end. Or androsexual vs gynosexual. Hyposexual to hypersexual. Asexual to pansexual.

Within the asexual spectrum could be lithosexual, cupiosexual, aegosexual, demisexual, etc.

 

[Robert474]

So this is something I've personally been struggling with for quite some time. I wasn't sure if I was asexual because I just don't have a desire to do the sex act but I do find men attractive. But when it comes down to actually do it, I don't have the want...is that asexuality?

 

[somebody427]

So this is something I've personally been struggling with for quite some time. I wasn't sure if I was asexual because I just don't have a desire to do the sex act but I do find men attractive. But when it comes down to actually do it, I don't have the want...is that asexuality?

For me... I've never actually experienced any sort of physical attraction to anyone. I honestly have no idea what you all are talking about when you say you feel attracted to another person. I have a libido, I can get aroused, I enjoy sex, I certainly can appreciate other peoples' appearance, but whatever it is that you all seem to have for this instinctual drive to fuck another person... nope. Nada. Does not compute. My father's and peers remarks of "oh, you'll know the feelings when they happen..." .....uhhhh, nope. Sorry.

Then I had people tell me "that isn't a thing, there's no such thing as an asexual person. You have to be attracted to something, you just don't understand it."

And yet, here I am, still baffled by people who describe feelings of physical attraction, because I've never experienced it.

 

[playklax01]

So this is something I've personally been struggling with for quite some time. I wasn't sure if I was asexual because I just don't have a desire to do the sex act but I do find men attractive. But when it comes down to actually do it, I don't have the want...is that asexuality?

It could be, but it's up to you to determine that. No one can tell you what you are or are not. Asexuality in general has a broad spectrum, from absolutely no sexual attraction at all to 'generally no, but it depends'. I also find certain guys attractive, but I do not find them sexually attractive nor have no desire to have sex with them, off the bat. I need to have a emotional connection to the person in order for that to happen, and it's not a guarantee but a prerequisite. That's Demisexual. There's many other labels out there, if you're into that. Lots of folks don't like labels, and I usually don't, but this one really fits like a glove to me personally.

 

[playklax01]

For me... I've never actually experienced any sort of physical attraction to anyone. I honestly have no idea what you all are talking about when you say you feel attracted to another person. I have a libido, I can get aroused, I enjoy sex, I certainly can appreciate other peoples' appearance, but whatever it is that you all seem to have for this instinctual drive to fuck another person... nope. Nada. Does not compute. My father's and peers remarks of "oh, you'll know the feelings when they happen..." .....uhhhh, nope. Sorry.

Then I had people tell me "that isn't a thing, there's no such thing as an asexual person. You have to be attracted to something, you just don't understand it."

And yet, here I am, still baffled by people who describe feelings of physical attraction, because I've never experienced it.

Don't you love it when other people tell you how it's going to be and that you're basically wrong.... Don't get pulled into their logic, only you know how you feel, and we here can relate as well. Of course it's a thing. Of course there are asexual people. Only you can decide what suits you best, and whatever that turns out to be is totally valid.

I mentioned in another thread that being Demisexual, only one in a blue moon (maybe 1x/year at most) I'll see someone who just blows my mind. Instant, strong, feeling of physical attraction, butterflies in my stomach, and I turn all nervous around them (I actually don't talk to them though). Could be a stranger in the store, someone walking on the street, just a random person. The feeling is so intense, it's really overwhelming. I don't know if 'regular' people feel like this when they see someone hot? I wish it would happen more often, despite it being overwhelming, it's rather exciting too. Does anyone else experience this once in a great while?