Question about use of something like viagra to have sex with a woman?

[techpump]

Hi guys and I hope this isn't offending any of y'all, I have been trying to figure out how to word this right for weeks now but fuck it I just need to ask it.

I used to converse with a guy I met online in another forum and after saying he was a virgin in his late 30s who never had luck with women, he realized he was more attracted to men and wanted to be "bred" by a man or Tgirl, someone with a cock. However, he had romantic feelings for women, just hot sweaty dirty sex desires with mainly men. He used to question why he couldn't cum watching straight porn and women, but the second he watched a guy doing another guy, he'd blow instantly. He spent about 5 years writing with me, constantly questioning his sexuality. I told him he was gay straight up but probably wanted to be best friends with a woman that he didn't have to make out with: sex with men, close intimate friendship with a woman. Okay so that was him in a nutshell.

He admitted he had some pretty major ED problems. Tried cialis, seemed to work, but didn't give him the boner he expected. Tried 100mg tabs of Viagra, again, not really working for him. I told him "well, you HAVE to be aroused and turned on for those meds to work, they don't just automatically give you wood doing nothing, it can happen, but that's not how they are really designed to work. The pill doesn't force an erection against your will." He wanted something that would make him hard for no reason. I asked why. He said that when the time came, with a woman, he wanted to make sure he would be solid for her and not let her down.

That always puzzled me. He wanted to have sex with a woman, at least he said he did. But he never made a move on chicks who liked him. It was always "if she invites me in" or "if she's wanting sex and tells me, I'll do it". I'd say "well, not all women want to make the first move. They can give a hint or two, but most want the man to move in and take her." He didn't like that so much, he respected women and saw them as like "delicate creatures" with some sanctity and purity he couldn't describe. I said "hire a female escort, get your dick wet with pussy, if you like it, you will fuck women. Go with the guys who want you and come on to you and you come on to them. Get your dick wet with a man, if you like it, you will fuck men. Easy solution!" A woman was his "soulmate/twinflame" but he wanted hot dirty sex with a man more than anything.

I don't talk to this guy anymore at all, he went quite gay-for-straight with me and I called him out on it after I realized the signs (which I didn't know) and he got really mad and blocked me. Fine I don't care. But it got me thinking about the whole "forced boner" thing with Viagra.

As gay men, do you think that maybe this guy wanted to be able to have an erection against his will so that he could force himself--his body--to have sex with a woman just to do the deed to see if he really wanted to be with a woman, because he feared that a woman, her pussy, etc. wouldn't turn him on enough to produce an erection for sex? Is this something that gay men face when they are in a relationship with a woman who expects sex from their man? I know gay men go with women and have kids and live in the closet and force themselves to have sex with their women and make it work. But I always wondered if gay men living a straight lifestyle with a woman have a hard time getting an erection for their wives/partners and pills can help them achieve a boner to get into a pussy that they really aren't attracted to or hot for.

Thanks for reading and considering this question of mine! As a straight guy, I kind of think that my friend wanted to be hard for no reason just so he could penetrate a woman because the sexuality of women didn't turn him on and to be with his female soulmate, he'd have to have sex with her.

 

[dana2]

Your friend is gay and struggling with internalized homophobia. He has self-hatred because he is gay and that is interfering with his ability to live a life true to who he is. It is also interfering with his ability to develop romantic feelings for men. Viagra, as you rightfully point out, needs desire and sexual arousal in order to produce a boner. He just needs to accept who he is once and for all and stop trying to change himself. His body is programed to be attracted to men and penis. No amount of Viagra will make him suddenly desire tits, clits and slits. He already has sexual urges for men, romantic feelings will emerge once he accepts who he is and develops meaningful sexual relationships with other guys.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Purely answering the question if having an erection without arousal, yes. Trimix is a medication injected into the penis that forces a very hard erection without arousal or stimulation. If he really wanted to, he could use that to penetrate a woman.

 

[techpump]

thanks to y'all for answering and writing something here. settles some of my wondering about this dude I used to write with.

 

[techpump]

Your friend is gay and struggling with internalized homophobia.

Absolutely he was (or may still be, I haven't talked to him in almost a year I think, I told him what kind of online relationship I wanted to have with him, and he cut me off and never wrote me back) and he cited his Catholic upbringing as a source. He always said he wanted to make his dad proud after his mom died, and having a family with a woman was a way to do that. His flip flopping of "I'm straight and want to be with a woman" to "so I'm writing and sending pics to guys on Grindr" to "I've been talking to my female friend at the gym and she's being suggestive, should I make a move and ask her out?" to "there's a guy at the gym and we've been showing each other our erections when we get a chance and he approached me and grabbed my cock through my pants and said he wanted me" was proof of his pain.

He has self-hatred because he is gay and that is interfering with his ability to live a life true to who he is. It is also interfering with his ability to develop romantic feelings for men.

He would go to places like Walmart or wherever, and see a male employee who paid attention to him, and he'd make eyes at the employee, and then the employee would find him in the store and tell him he was gay and noticed him looking at him, and how did he swing. He'd get phone numbers from men and offers of sex from men. But never took it seriously, he'd be confused like "why are these guys hiting on me?" and I'd say "because they can see it in your look and your eyes that you are interested; if you did that to a woman she might think you were interested in her" he was clueless about this stuff, but I told him you are really into guys, you want a man to breed your ass and he'd even want a buttplug in place after the guy dumped his load in him so it could "dissolve and become a part of him" and he'd call his ass his "bussy" a lot. I told him to just go all-gay, you are gay man, you just need to get with a man and be done with it, you obviously are turned on by men, you get hard and cum from watching men and gay porn, and you're letting your family and society make you guilty. He went through this for years with me online me writing him emails telling him to just do it, him saying he's on Grindr one week, then deletes the app the next, then back on it, etc..

Viagra, as you rightfully point out, needs desire and sexual arousal in order to produce a boner. He just needs to accept who he is once and for all and stop trying to change himself. His body is programed to be attracted to men and penis. No amount of Viagra will make him suddenly desire tits, clits and slits.

I told him this plenty. I said you might believe you want a woman as your soulmate, but she's gonna want sex, unless you want a chaste frigid woman, then she's just a roommate friend to live with, go find a female roommate. But if you are with a solid horny woman that wants sex, you will have to experience pussy, and you might not like the taste, smell, the feel of a woman's secretions. I told him sometimes having sex with a woman, she starts her period and you get blood on your cock during sex, its not a big deal, my wife has done this with me countless times, we just keep fucking and finish. He didn't know that could happen, he'd never heard of this before. Mind you, he was like 38 at the time, and a virgin, so clueless dude, but still, very "innocent" acting yet he'd tell guys he's "verse" and be out there like a gay man would be, confident and ready to find a hot man to be with in bed. I said get a female escort and just find out. Get a male one, who cares. You're too old to wait to find out, all your best fucking years are going to be behind you before you've even tasted the pussy you so want to be soulmates with!!!

He already has sexual urges for men, romantic feelings will emerge once he accepts who he is and develops meaningful sexual relationships with other guys.

Hetero-romantic for women, homosexual for men. Classic example that guy.

Thanks again for putting it all this way. I wish he could read what you wrote, if I knew how to contact him (or cared to, he was offensive and quite mean and offputting a few times) I'd send your reply to him.