Question: Being friends with an Ex

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by killerb, Apr 1, 2008.

  1. killerb

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    2 years ago I ended a relationship, but we remained friends. Recently my ex has begun to date someone new & I can't handle it.

    I want to be a friend, but I also have no intention of watching this relationship grow right under my nose.

    Oh yeah, I should add...we are currently living together.

    Any advice? I mean, besides murder...that's not an option:rolleyes:
     
  2. Phil Ayesho

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    pinch it off and let it drop.


    She is using you so she can have the closeness without the intimacy...
    And you are only there because you hope things will re-ignite between you.


    Life is short, don't waste time chasing something that is done... move out and move on.
     
  3. spike

    spike Member

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    Spike's 3 step plan:

    1) Move out

    (2) Have fun hanging out with your friends for a few weeks (it will help you get over her)

    (3) Start looking for someone else special
     
  4. tate22

    tate22 New Member

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    My exes are only good for random hook-ups at this point.
    Which I prefer to "stranger" hook ups.

    I have good relationships with all of them except for one... so many people have bad break ups. I was lucky.

    I would say move on, but definitely move out first. Best of luck!
     
  5. killerb

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    all good advice...thanks guys...
    I am planning to leave ASAP...
     
  6. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    moving out is a good idea.
    put yourself in a place/surroundings/environment where healing can begin.

    the resentment that grows from this kind of thing is no good, for anyone.

    the last relationship i had, he ran off with my best friend at the time. fortunately for me, my ex best friend used proper judgment and decided to tell me about it. Words do not begin to be even capable of describing the hurt and rage. I became physically ill and had to get medical attention.

    It is NEVER worth it. EVER.

    Do the best thing for yourself and cut it off at the root and move on and focus on the millions of other more beneficial opportunities out there for you. Don't limit yourself to this.

    During a time like this, common sense is paramount. It safeguards you on sooo many levels.
     
  7. killerb

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    thanks...
    any advice on how to deal with the feelings I still have? even though I broke it off (for reasons that are stupid now) the love I had never went away...
     
  8. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    Maybe if this is applicable, you should tell yourself:

    She may be beautiful - like a work of art. But consider the canvas that lies beneath the beautiful image. Obviously, the canvas/her attitude/personality was not right for you.

    There are attractive girls out there who are also painted on high quality nylon canvases...yeah...

    I don't know about you, but I wasn't "in love" with "her", I was in love with the image of her: she was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Physically. But she also had the ugliest personality/behaviour(s) that I've ever known. So we really weren't right for each other.

    I feel I have ranted...but there are other girls out there and your ex is never as great in reality as you make her out to be in your mind. The first step would be to move out and get some distance between you two. Go out and find a playmate.

    To quote an extra: "Ain't no better cure for the blues than some gooood pussy"
     
  9. jon81

    jon81 New Member

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    geez... I'm getting tired... I read the post as "being with a friend's ex"
     
  10. killerb

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    if my case was like yours, this would be easier.
    but the sad thing is, my ex has always been there for me.
    the breakup was all on me...I owe no blame to anyone else.
    but I guess I blew it & it's over for good & I have to get over it...
    I'm not one for sleeping around, but someone once told me that the best way to get over your ex is to get under someone new.
    maybe I'll work on that :wink:
     
  11. uncut1234

    uncut1234 New Member

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    sorry, thats a big no can do for me.. if i was really into a girl and hadstrong feelings for her theres no way i can be her friend and talk to her about her new boyfriend ect ect.. i had an ex try to pull that with me, would call me all the time after we broke up and wana be "my friend" meanwhile shes dating a guy i know... get real
     
  12. Ethyl

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    You are still living with her because you want something more and you're not going to get it. She's using you. Forget about friendship because she already has. I'll echo what everyone else has said: Move out. Now.
     
  13. 9plus

    9plus New Member

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    I've found it cool to be friends with my ex's. Though i wasn't living in the same home If she's going to bring her new friend around and even have sex while your around. Observe! her intension might be to make you jealous, If infact that's true! let her know how you felt, then ask her IF she is bringing anyone over if she could let you know prior so you can chill somewhere while she's doing her thing. Stay strong and "Never Acknowledge Ignorance!". Peace!
     
  14. killerb

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    oh there's no way anyone else is coming into this house
    and I do realize that this arrangement can't continue
    I also know that I have to move on & I will
    thanks to all for your input...
     
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