Question: Do you believe in soul mates?

[petite]

There's a spectrum of attraction and compatibility. Two different people will reside at different places on that spectrum. Maybe they'll be close. Maybe they'll be far. But there will always be more people near you on that spectrum. To believe there's *one* person who matches up with you to the hundredth decimal point is silly, I submit. Don't look for love so high up and far away. It's right here.

For what it's worth!

This is somewhat similar to what I believe. I don't believe in soul mates. I embraced the idea of serial monogamy. I've believed for years that each relationship was temporary and I just wanted to enjoy it as much as I could until it was time to end it and move on to the next one.

I believe in the spectrum of attraction and compatibility, but you also need relationship skills for long term success with a person. No amount of compatibility or attraction could have solved the problems that were caused by bad relationship skills in my previous relationships.

Knowing how to treat one another properly in the relationship to build a foundation that will last years is completely unrelated to attraction or compatibility. I have dated men where the attraction and compatibility were there, but certain necessary skills for a long lasting relationship were missing, such as the right way to have an argument without causing resentment and hurt, or how to resolve a disagreement or end a fight so that it's actually over, or how to express anger or criticize the right way. I've had more successful relationship with men whom I was less compatible with when it came to common interests and personality traits and sense of humor, but who had better relationship skills.

 

[lopo2000]

Everyone is destined one SM. You'll find him/her, provided that you make the efforts.

 

[earllogjam]

Where would the state of humanity be without the hope that someone specifically made for you is just waiting somewhere out there, someone to make your life complete, someone to make you eternally happy?

Our hapless little lives wouldn't be bearable without that hope so we invent the idea of soul mates.

The reality is that all relationships have their ups and downs and no couple is perfectly made for each other, that goes for friendships as well. People also change with age and experience. The person you thought was your soul mate at 27 may not be the same person at 35 or 65.

Yet we believe in this romantic notion because it's what makes all the lonely nights, eating alone, and fears that you will die without anyone truly knowing who you really are somehow bearable.

 

[invisibleman]

I believe in soul mates. But I don't believe that they were meant to be forever though. Sometimes life is like that.

 

[B_ILIW]

I think there is somebody for everybody. But I don't think there are soulmates in the spiritual sense.

 

[Rowan Ravenseed]

I believe in soul mates but not in the traditional romantic sense.

I believe that soulds travel in circles and there are people that we will continually "bump" into as we pass through each life becuase these people will have have something to offer us and these souls will always enrich our lives.

I also believe that our soul mates are not neccesarily people we are destines to pair with..... if that were the case we would never learn anything becuase the pairing would be the same each and every life never allowing us the opportunity to learn new lessons about love

 

[D_Harvey Schmeckel]

I can't believe that anyone is "made" for anyone else or "destined" by some exterior force to meet. But whatever inner force propels us seems to lead us to the right person at the right time. Sometimes people connect immediately in ways that can seem very eerie, filled with omens and coincidences. While I don't believe in reincarnation, precognition seems more real to me. The day I met my current and longest-term partner, we both "just knew" we'd be lifelong mates, FWIW.

 

[Daisy]

Nooooooo. I also don't believe in happy endings or love at first site. You meet someone, you're attracted, you make it work. It works till it doesn't work. The end.

 

[the_reverend]

I believe in soul mates but not in the traditional romantic sense.

I believe that soulds travel in circles and there are people that we will continually "bump" into as we pass through each life becuase these people will have have something to offer us and these souls will always enrich our lives.

I also believe that our soul mates are not neccesarily people we are destines to pair with..... if that were the case we would never learn anything becuase the pairing would be the same each and every life never allowing us the opportunity to learn new lessons about love

this is akin to what i believe in, but with a romantic facet to it.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I definitely tend to look on the bright side of things. Love and hope and belief in things I cannot control seem to keep me a happy person even in the worst of moments. I cannot say there is no such thing simply because I have not experienced it.


I'm curious to know how many men versus women believe in soul mates. To bad you cannot edit the poll FemaleLG

 

[D_Tina_Ciao]

Yeah, I didn't think about men vs women as far as how many believed each way - should have included opinions for each sex - my bad! I'd guess more men than women are negative on this though.

When you do a poll, you have the option to make each vote public so folks can see who voted which way, but I didn't want to make folks that exposed/pressured.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Yeah, I didn't think about men vs women as far as how many believed each way - should have included opinions for each sex - my bad! I'd guess more men than women are negative on this though.

Maybe, maybe not I'm actually finding more of my girl friends say no when I ask this question, so far my guy friends have told me yes

 

[chrispy]

I don't believe in the traditional definition of a soul mate as "the one" who will fulfill me and make me whole. I am the only one who can do that for myself.

However, I do think we each have many different soul mates, each of whom complements us, and brings out our best. I have a number of friends...and one family member...who "speak the language of my soul". Knowing them makes me not only what to be myself, but to be my best self.

 

[deleted3782]

Where would the state of humanity be without the hope that someone specifically made for you is just waiting somewhere out there, someone to make your life complete, someone to make you eternally happy?

That person does exist...it is yourself. You make yourself complete, you can make yourself eternally happy.

No soul mates, just low standards. :tongue: (kidding)

Some people just get along with others easily...but some of us get along by ourselves. There should be no romantic notions about either.

 

[Bbucko]

I believe in soul mates, I just don't believe that in each life we're allowed to have only one. Otherwise my only chance for happiness would have been over when I lost my lover in 1992.

I am optimistic to believe in second (or third) acts in life.

 

[petite]

I believe in soul mates, I just don't believe that in each life we're allowed to have only one. Otherwise my only chance for happiness would have been over when I lost my lover in 1992.

I am optimistic to believe in second (or third) acts in life.

Aw, I'm so sorry to hear that! That's heartbreaking. No, your chances for happiness are not over!

 

[SeeDickRun]

Yes, soul mates do exist. 16 years ago, after several months of chatting on IRC (remember that one?) we arranged to meet. It was a good "safe" environment, since it was going to be a night out for the whole chat room at one place. There was no need for either of us to hang out with the other, if we didn't hit it off. Plenty of other guys to visit/drink with.
We met briefly, visited, and went out separate ways to meet other guys there. However, the entire night, we were stealing glances of each other. The next day, we talked on the phone. He lived on the other side of the state, but started coming over each night for a visit. Long story short, within 3 months he moved in with me. We moved to Fort Lauderdale for 10 years, and now are back in the north, rehabbing the house after 10 years of a tenant's wear and tear.
So, it's been 16 years. No major arguments. Just a great time together. And, oh yeah..... he's 27 years younger than me. No, I'm not a sugar daddy. In fact, he's supported me several times through the years, when I had five surgeries, and I battled three different types of cancer. And, he's never complained. Just kicks my ass when needed to keep me going!

 

[HiddenLacey]

I believe in soul mates, I just don't believe that in each life we're allowed to have only one. Otherwise my only chance for happiness would have been over when I lost my lover in 1992.

I am optimistic to believe in second (or third) acts in life.

Optimistic is the only way to be, I'm sorry you lost your lover, if you can feel that way once surely you can feel that way again. Goodluck!

Yes, soul mates do exist. 16 years ago, after several months of chatting on IRC (remember that one?) we arranged to meet. It was a good "safe" environment, since it was going to be a night out for the whole chat room at one place. There was no need for either of us to hang out with the other, if we didn't hit it off. Plenty of other guys to visit/drink with.
We met briefly, visited, and went out separate ways to meet other guys there. However, the entire night, we were stealing glances of each other. The next day, we talked on the phone. He lived on the other side of the state, but started coming over each night for a visit. Long story short, within 3 months he moved in with me. We moved to Fort Lauderdale for 10 years, and now are back in the north, rehabbing the house after 10 years of a tenant's wear and tear.
So, it's been 16 years. No major arguments. Just a great time together. And, oh yeah..... he's 27 years younger than me. No, I'm not a sugar daddy. In fact, he's supported me several times through the years, when I had five surgeries, and I battled three different types of cancer. And, he's never complained. Just kicks my ass when needed to keep me going!

Wow you are a brave man and you must have a wonderful love to help support and push you when you've needed it. I hope things continue down a good road for you.

 

[Drifterwood]

There is definitely a "just click" factor, this goes from people you meet irl or even online you can just seem to connect with people. So I am going for the option that it exists because it seems clearly to be part of the human make up.

I have had several soul mates to one level or another in terms of romantic attachment. In fact I would say that you can have soul mates in all different aspects of your life.

 

[helgaleena]

I agree with this, drifterwood. I feel that way about my fabulous job at Dark Roast Press

because if we had all gone our separate ways when we were washed together by internet fandom, then followed one another into an enterprise that fell to bits within a year, our dear flagship would never have been created at all. But now it is giving us hope, through all sorts of personal crises among both authors and staff.

One of our writers is boldly battling chemotherapy, but confesses that her writing for us of cosmic love keeps her going. I would have been homeless and still married to a criminal without the Dark Roasting part of my life to focus me. My boss has been through so much and is still on track with us and with grad school. Another of our writers was downsized and lost his home but now fortune's hand is with his family again. We live all over the world but we support romance together. In this, we are soulmates.