Question For Cat Parents

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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We've had our newest kitty for a week now and while I realize sometimes they can take a while to be acclimated into a household, he has proved to be more of a challenge then any we've had before. He is still absolutely petrified of his new environment, along with our presence, and while he eventually calms down when you hold and pet him but only after he has something almost akin to an anxiety attack with tremors going through his body.

We bought a Feniway diffuser (those thing aren't cheap ) and although I've read some positive things about them, so far it really doesn't seem to be helping. The wife also ordered some drops to put in his water but since it is homeopathic, which I believe is pseudoscience, I'm not really gambling on a solution there.

So has anyone ever had an experience with Feniway or any other product used to calm animals and can offer any insight? Do this things really work or will it more come down to feline psychology or social engineering (unfortunately hiring Jackson Galaxy would cost even more then the diffuser)? Indeed has anyone even had such an experience with a pet and how did you deal with it and did they ever overcome it?

While I realize that perhaps it might come down to just patience and time, but at this rate I really have to wonder if he will ever get over it and be like all the other cats we had or if the challenge might be too much. Right now we still have him confined to his own room (and he seems to prefer that) mostly because he can't have contact with the other cats yet due to ear mites (another thing the shelter neglected to mention). But I'm worried once he is introduced to the others, it will set back even the minimal progress we've achieved since just adjusting to non-hostile humans seems to be a high enough mountain let alone fellow felines who won't necessarily be as welcoming initially.
 

MickeyLee

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YouTube!

Mr Galaxy has a YouTube channel

Ya new kitteh probably had a not so great life. When dealing with feral/human avoidant kittehs I work through the tummy. Temptations are kitteh kryptonite.

Go in his room just before feeding time. Set a couple nummies next to you. Might take a couple days but he will venture close. Repeat until he's chill. Then up the interaction to include physical contact. He will start to associate you with food and affection.

If ya introducing other kittehs bring them into his room. He'll feel more confident in a space ge considers safe/his.

My doggo Spaz is a trauma rescue. There was no magical "I'm adopted, oh, joy!" I didn't even register on her radar. She hated the ride home. Unless I was feeding her, she gave off fuck you energy. Walkies and Bubz won her over. Her attitude was understandable and the work was worth cuz I absolutely have the best dog that ever dogged and she loves me.
 

creek47

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Unless you know the history of the new kitty you don’t know what life they had before. You might of walked into a situation where you may be rehabilitating the little one.
 
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creek47

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Unless you know the history of the new kitty you don’t know what life they had before. You might of walked into a situation where you may be rehabilitating the little one.
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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Unless you know the history of the new kitty you don’t know what life they had before. You might of walked into a situation where you may be rehabilitating the little one.

I'm really beginning to think this is the case. Despite the fact the shelter claims it's their policy not to adopt cats that were feral and show signs they can't integrate with people only ones who were surrender animals, they were reluctant to tell us anything of his background; claiming they didn't know. Add to that his paperwork advised caution and notes the vet there only examined him from outside the cage. But he's not aggressive...if anything he's so scared to the point of super compliance. Add to the fact our vet noticed some signs of past battles it's very possible he was on the losing end of feline conflict which not only could explain his meekness, but also why we're concerned what's going to happen once he meets the rest of the furball household.
 

creek47

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I'm really beginning to think this is the case. Despite the fact the shelter claims it's their policy not to adopt cats that were feral and show signs they can't integrate with people only ones who were surrender animals, they were reluctant to tell us anything of his background; claiming they didn't know. Add to that his paperwork advised caution and notes the vet there only examined him from outside the cage. But he's not aggressive...if anything he's so scared to the point of super compliance. Add to the fact our vet noticed some signs of past battles it's very possible he was on the losing end of feline conflict which not only could explain his meekness, but also why we're concerned what's going to happen once he meets the rest of the furball household.
I adopted a badly abused dog and it takes time but is so rewarding
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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YouTube!

Mr Galaxy has a YouTube channel

Ya new kitteh probably had a not so great life. When dealing with feral/human avoidant kittehs I work through the tummy. Temptations are kitteh kryptonite.

Go in his room just before feeding time. Set a couple nummies next to you. Might take a couple days but he will venture close. Repeat until he's chill. Then up the interaction to include physical contact. He will start to associate you with food and affection.

If ya introducing other kittehs bring them into his room. He'll feel more confident in a space ge considers safe/his.

My doggo Spaz is a trauma rescue. There was no magical "I'm adopted, oh, joy!" I didn't even register on her radar. She hated the ride home. Unless I was feeding her, she gave off fuck you energy. Walkies and Bubz won her over. Her attitude was understandable and the work was worth cuz I absolutely have the best dog that ever dogged and she loves me.

Thanks for the videos Mickey. So far he will only eat if no one is in the room and won't come out of his corner unless you pick him up and hold him at which point he does calm down but still does not respond like a cat normally does. I guess we have been so used to having cats where even the worst case was only scared mildly for a day or two and then came around.
Hell, the last one that we took in actually let herself in by following us home, walking right in the front door when we opened it and helped herself to the couch. Was kind of hard to not let her ballsy self stay after that.

But this one is definitely different and I really don't see it being as easy or the transition period being brief; but I never meet a kitty who wasn't worth some sort of effort and given us many good years in return for it.
 

MickeyLee

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Working hard for something gives the best reward. He's gonna take time and effort but he'll love ya like no other kitteh.

Heck, if he's never a cuddle bug ya will have given him a great life. If the Egyptians were right about cats there is nothing wrong with stacking some kitteh karma.

From all the kitteh folks thank you for opening ya home and the food bag to the street urchins and wayward.
 

Shepardson

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Motion-of-the-Ocean,

Your story reminds me a lot of my eldest. She's had the plug-in, and wears one of those purple "calming" collars. I also couldn't tell that they helped, and stopped getting plug-in refills due to the high price and short life span. She spent her first year or so living on the street before I caught her and only in recent years has started to warm up to family and friends (she's about 15 now). For the first couple years she only trusted me and would hide from anybody else.

Be careful introducing him to those others. Even back when mine was really timid and hid all the time, she'd go "wild animal" in the presence of another cat and she cut me up really bad the first year while she was looking at a cat outside the window. She's very mellow and sweet now, but she still doesn't care for other animals and avoids my two younger cats.

I'm proud of you for taking on the responsibility. What they've been through wasn't their fault.
 

EagleCowboy

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Yeah, it definitely sounds like that kitten was abused or experienced severe trauma. You have to just keep working with him, gently coaxing him with treats, love and affection, and you will gain his trust. It's gonna take a few months.

Years ago I rescued a severely beaten puppy that was tossed out the window of a moving car. Even though she took right to me, it was years before she got to where she didn't cower like she was going to be hit when someone wanted to pet her.

When I rescue horses, it takes about 2 years of constantly working with them before they start to trust humans again. So be patient. Patience will pay off.

Just remember that animals, like humans, never forget that abuse/trauma or the people/things/events that caused them. You just have to recognize that, work around it and always show them love, support, and that you can be trusted at all times.
 
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deleted848353

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I have 2 kittehs and both are adopted from my bestie one took an instant like to me the other when I first met him to coax him with treats as he was under her bed was to put them down on the floor and he was like pennywise putting his paw out to take them under the bed I've now had him around 6 months and its taken him that long to come to me for affection and cuddles so please keep in mind he will come round once he feels comfortable
 
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+1 to the "give him time". My cat was just supposed to be a short term foster. Yeah, yeah... I know. But I'm not really a cat person and have fostered kittens for this rescue about a half dozen times... I'm a good place for them to land in a "Oh, shit... we need some place for these cats to go TO-DAY... let's call Luker until we figure out a long-term solution" type situation. He was super aloof at first- his previous owners just put him outside where he got a chunk taken out of his head in a fight, some kind people got him vetted and kept him in a crate in their garage for a few weeks while healing & trying to find rescue... and then he came to my house. He stayed upstairs exclusively for a month... his choice... and didn't really interact except to swear at me when he could see the bottom of his food bowl and occasionally chase a flirt stick. Attempts at trying to love on him were met with scratches and one time a bite, but usually just leaving wherever I was. Fine, you jerk... I don't want a cat anyway.

I went on vacation and he went for neuter and to a temp foster for a few weeks. When he came back, he was a different cat because I think he got used to being safe inside and not stuck in a small crate, plus he was denutted. He almost never went upstairs, he occasionally played with my dog, sat on the couch with me, and started sleeping on my bed. (Terrifying the first time because my old cat was demon spawn... I woke up with him about 4" from my face just staring at me. STARING. When he saw that I opened an eye, he started purring so hard that it felt like ya put a quarter into a cheap Myrtle Beach motel vibrating bed) A couple weeks into his 2nd stay, I was laying on the couch and he hopped up on my chest and laid down. He's not a lap-cat... more of a be near you cat, so this was different. After starting to purr, he rolled onto his back... belly up, and fell asleep. My thought process... Shit. This cat isn't leaving.

So it was somewhere between 8-10 weeks before he really became comfortable. Be patient. He's laying on top of the sofa purring like a lawnmower right now... he's my family.
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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As an update: it's been a very slow but steady progression this week. After a set-back period of some hissing and growling when we've attempted to pick him up or re-locate him from his corner hiding spot (the first few days he was very compliant), he's switched back again to being more tolerant. We've been mostly leaving him be and just sitting in his room with him or petting him in his corner without trying to bring him to us and he has seemed to be slightly more comfortable. Enough of the nervousness has eased to where at least he's no longer quaking when he sees you or you touch him. The vet recommended a product called Zylkene for the anxiety and it may be taking effect...hard to tell.

The vet also recommended to let him adapt for a week or two to both the rest of the house and the other cats but still confined so we bought an enclosure so he could just sit and watch us go about our daily business and observe his new feline associates in safety. So far, he seems to enjoy it and shown more curiosity. The other kitties have been surprisingly tolerant and just watch from a distance or even ignoring him which is not the non-hostile response we were expecting. He actually rewarded us today with a few little kitty cries...until now he's been so quiet we swore he might have been a mute. Now hoping one day he will be relaxed and affectionate enough we will hear what his purr sounds like.

Learning fast we have to welcome what little victories he chooses to give us and maybe slow and steady will win the race to his love.

Thanks for all those so far who have contributed to this thread and given advice.

DSCF5551.JPG
 

DiamondJoe

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...Lazy, furry little bastards! Treating the place like they own it, never help with the housework just spend hourrrrss sleeping... and then it's take take take feed me feed me love me pet me feed me mummy... all you find is hair and hair and hair and vomit... bringin' their little friends back at all hours redecorating the 'ouse wiv 'em... urgh! Turns yer stomach ta think about it, it does...

(overheard section of cat parent's rant)
 
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Motion-of-the-Ocean

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He's really come around a lot in the past few days. We've felt confident to liberate him from his pen a little bit and he seems to be adapting to the rest of the house. He's become very playful and learning to love being petted, but only if he's in his enclosure; outside he still runs away when you try to approach and touch him. So far aside from some hissy fits from the senior kitty there is surprising harmony, especially from our domineering Tortie who hasn't been bothering him at all. If there's been any drawback in his coming out of his shell it's been his Siamese pedigree is starting to show and after thinking the first week he lacked vocal cords he's now become quite the chatterbox; walking around and going on and on about something. Having relatively quiet cats in the past, this is going to take some getting used to. Thinking he is going to work out after all.
 

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Indeed, you don't know what tests he had to pass and how many stresses he had suffered before getting into your family. I think that he is now undergoing rehabilitation and everything can be fixed with love and care. Be gentle with it and everything will pass. We have 3 cats that we took in our adopted from the street at different times. Each of them was initially aggressive and scared. But over time they adapted and became friends. We ordered a cat tree for them like this one 10 Best Cat Trees to Buy in (January 2021) - Buyer’s Guide. So, every cat has its own place to sleep. And it is a perfect place where do they play.