Question For Gay/Bi African Americans

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bek2335, Oct 18, 2009.

  1. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    I am a white woman who has met an African American woman who is a practicing Baptist, and I am very attracted to her. I don't know if she has ever been with a woman: I only know she is not dating anyone right now, is in her early 40s, has a grown daughter and has never been married. I don't want to stereotype or make assumptions and I will certainly try to have a conversation with her to explore her feelings about homosexuality before I consider revealing how I feel about her, but I'm wondering : in your opinion, how likely is it that, being a practicing Baptist, that she is homophobic?
     
  2. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    I am a white woman who has met an African American woman who is a practicing Baptist, and I am very attracted to her. I don't know if she has ever been with a woman: I only know she is not dating anyone right now, is in her early 40s, has a grown daughter and has never been married. I don't want to make assumptions or stereotype, so that's why I asking for some others' thoughts on this. I will certainly try to have a conversation with her to explore her feelings about homosexuality before I consider revealing how I feel about her, but I'm wondering : in your opinion, how likely is it that, being a practicing Baptist, that she is homophobic?
     
  3. Lex

    Lex
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    Well, on average, people of color are more socially conservative and tend more towards homophobia.

    I would start by revealing that you are gay, not that you like her. One step at at a time.
     
  4. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    Lex:

    Absolutely. I need to have her reaction to that first before I can determine what to do or not do next.
     
    #4 bek2335, Oct 18, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2009
  5. Principessa

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    Yikes, talk about looking for love in all the wrong places. :tongue: Sorry, I couldn't resist as that song has been running through my head off and on for a week now.

    I would say that if she lives in the southeast there is a fair to good chance she is homophobic. :frown1: I hate to pigeonhole all Baptists or southerners as being closeminded, but there does appear to be quite a bit of evidence of that over the years. :redface: :mad: :frown1:

    My advice as a black woman living in the southeast, with a penchant for white men is to take Lex's advice. :cool:

    Good Luck. I hope things work out for you.
     
  6. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    Thanks, njqt. Your posts usually always show good sense, so I appreciate your input. I am from the mid-atlantic region, for which I was grateful long before this question ever came up.
    I wasn't "looking for love", as it were - I met her in the course of going about my usual business. But my track record for making unfortunate choices is...impressive, so your point is well taken.
    You have a penchant for white men...I for black women. No doubt we face some of the same challenges.
     
  7. Symphonic

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    Get her drunk. Convert her.
     
  8. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    Ha! An excellent idea. :)

    If I could, I would. I am not above it.
     
    #8 bek2335, Oct 18, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2009
  9. Lex

    Lex
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    Idiotic advice. This line of thinking perpetuates people's fear and discomfort with queer folk.

    NJQT and I share a love of hunky white men. We used to fight over guys ALL THE TIME! :wink:

    Also remember: Just because she is living in the south does not mean that she shares "typical" southern views or even that she is from the south.

    I live in the mid-Atlantic and I believe only in living within 3 hours of the ocean (fuck living anywhere else in America). My hubby was in FL when I met him. Come to find out, he was originally from NY and is not a southerner at all.

    Food for thought.
     
  10. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    Lex, I think the line about "get her drunk" was a joke. At least I took it as a joke, and my response was meant in humor as well.

    Wherever you and njqt each live, I wish you were closer to here. I'd like to be friends with both of you.
     
  11. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    very likely. I would thread SLOWLY. Get to know her better. It's the best thing you can do now.
     
  12. sleepiboi

    sleepiboi Member

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    I would do as the previous poster and tread slowly. In the black community people act extremely homophobic
     
  13. Principessa

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    I as you can tell from my moniker originally hail from New Jersey. So my mindset is different from most natural born southerners. Wow, you think I show 'good sense' THANK YOU! :smile: I consider that high praise indeed.


    Oh, I have made my share of bad choices in men, even when I think I am treading carefully. :redface:


    Most likely.


    Yeah that pretty much only works with men, I think.:rolleyes:


    Yup, nothing more annoying than a hot, gay man with the same taste in men as me. :tongue: :lmao:

     
  14. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    njqt:

    I will be flattered to be considered among your friends. And Lex - that is one beautiful specimen of a man, isn't he? Geez.
    New Jersey is indeed a pretty good place. I have lived here my whole life save for 3+ years in New York City back in the 80s. And even though NJ is crowded and expensive, I can't imagine going anywhere else at this point.
    Thanks again to you and everyone else here for what is certainly sound advice.
     
  15. SpeX

    SpeX New Member

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    If she's a practicing Baptist,she'll probably hit you upside the head with her bible.

    To most holy rollers,homosexuality is an abomination unto God.
     
  16. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    She isn't shrill...but she has told me which Baptist church she attends. I have another friend who is a church going Baptist and she believes the church is wrong on this point. Nothing is true of every member of any group.
     
  17. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    It has been my experience that white religious fanatics are meaner than black ones. But I'm not necesarily talking about fanatics here - just people who are more religious than the general population.
     
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