It's getting trendy. I wish. I'm just a misfit for either world too.
Thanks for the link to "bisexual erasure" Henry.
Question for gay guys regarding bisexual guys
- Thread starter B_henry miller
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Thanks for the link to "bisexual erasure" Henry.
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I can relate entirely. I'm currently dealing with a situation with a young man who exhibits bisexual tendencies. I'm attracted to him, but I am thinking life will be easier for both of us if we were with women. Then, I today I am reacquainted with a woman I am attracted to, and I think about dating here. Then I worry, "What would she think if she knew I am attracted to a man?"
I just want to choose sides because I think it will be easier for me. Obviously, the easiest side to choose would be the straight side (path of least resistence). But then I know I love men as well.
Not fully gay. Not fully straight. That's how I feel.
Hey Henry,
That's kind of how we are. Don't force yourself to choose. You won't be happy in the future. "Let" yourself (your heart) choose, then you'll know it's right. And WHATEVER you do, and I know, this is easier said than done, but before you get too deep into a relationship, let the other person know. If they're the right one for you, they'll accept it and continue to love you for who you are. Listen to me on this one, been there, done that, saw the pain.
And remember, we're not that far apart. If you ever need someone to talk with, person to person, I'm here. Just send me a pm and I'll shoot you over my cell number. Oh, and your sister's wrong:wink:
Good Luck
I meant midnight my time not west coast. I waited for over and hour and gave up. To think that I saved it up for a whole week just for you.
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I meant midnight my time not west coast. I waited for over and hour and gave up. To think that I saved it up for a whole week just for you.
Doggonnit! I had the blanket, candlelight, and lube all ready for us too:frown1:
Candlelight in a hay loft? Did you grow up in the country? That would start a fire. Not the kind of fire I intended nor the burning I intended to leave in your behind.
invisibleman
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Speaking for myself as one gay man, I think that there is such a thing as bisexuality. Even though, I am not bisexual. I don't hate any bi-sexual, gay or straight man for any of their sexual orientations.
I think that any man should be honest about their likes and dislikes. This isn't about choosing sides. This is about being honest.
Countryguy, please allow me to respond to your excellent post.
I dated women for many years but was aware of my attraction to men at a very, very early age. A few years ago I too came to the conclusion that what I need is the emotional attachment that I have only had with women (and, to be honest, with some gay male friends to whom I was not physically attracted). It has not been that long since I changed my 50/50% here simply because it was based on prior experience and now I know that I need and will, hopefully, some day find a man to whom I am both physically as well as emotionally attracted to. That is why I changed my %.
Ditto here. In my experience, the men I have been with are either not emotionally available or do not want to commit. But, to be fair, the women often were too emotional and wanted to commit way too soon at the beginning of the relationship.
I tell myself that is what I am looking for, just people to have fun with and I know that having fun is where a relationship starts and I certainly need someone with whom I can have fun but deep down in my gut I know I am seeking the emotional attachment.
Well, I do like horses!
The real hard part is the "what if's" and "mights" thoughts can flood in before and *after* you are together in everyday life even after you have "found" someone. Trust is a requirement for any LTR and that takes time. It is also a 2-way street. You have to trust each other. You have to work with each other to gain the trust. You have to just *be* together. You have to commit to "exclusivity" or establish boundaries that you both can live with.
You each have to make sure that you show each other, on a daily basis, that they are the "one" in your life and regardless of what life or other people throws your way, you will be there for each other.
:smile:
I dated women for many years but was aware of my attraction to men at a very, very early age. A few years ago I too came to the conclusion that what I need is the emotional attachment that I have only had with women (and, to be honest, with some gay male friends to whom I was not physically attracted). It has not been that long since I changed my 50/50% here simply because it was based on prior experience and now I know that I need and will, hopefully, some day find a man to whom I am both physically as well as emotionally attracted to. That is why I changed my %.
Ditto here. In my experience, the men I have been with are either not emotionally available or do not want to commit. But, to be fair, the women often were too emotional and wanted to commit way too soon at the beginning of the relationship.
I tell myself that is what I am looking for, just people to have fun with and I know that having fun is where a relationship starts and I certainly need someone with whom I can have fun but deep down in my gut I know I am seeking the emotional attachment.
(Damnit, another blatant attempt at a plug for me :redface::biggrin1
Well, I do like horses!
The real hard part is the "what if's" and "mights" thoughts can flood in before and *after* you are together in everyday life even after you have "found" someone. Trust is a requirement for any LTR and that takes time. It is also a 2-way street. You have to trust each other. You have to work with each other to gain the trust. You have to just *be* together. You have to commit to "exclusivity" or establish boundaries that you both can live with.
You each have to make sure that you show each other, on a daily basis, that they are the "one" in your life and regardless of what life or other people throws your way, you will be there for each other.
:smile:
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Well, I did grow up in the country, however my smoothed skinned buddy, small candles (tealights) placed down inside glass containers give a safe, warm, romantic glow :wink: There will only be heat generated from other areas :biggrin1:
invisibleman
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Why didn't Larry Mc and Diana O compose a scene like that in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN instead? I think that would've been hotter.
Just Heath Ledger fucking Jake Gyllenhaal in the ass in a cold tent.
:frown1: No cuddling or romantic teabagging. Annie Proulx be damned...beyotch be damned.
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Why didn't Larry Mc and Diana O compose a scene like that in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN instead? I think that would've been hotter.
Just Heath Ledger fucking Jake Gyllenhaal in the ass in a cold tent.
I told them to let me help with the story, but alas,,,,
invisibleman
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I told them to let me help with the story, but alas,,,,
Robert Redford would've let you do it.
With the door to the loft open, the moonlight reflecting off your white behind should be an awesome glow.
Thanks for the great response! I do believe I'll always find it difficult to have that much trust in a bisexual man, but that won't stop me from dating them. It'll just take a tad longer to settle in.Hi DBoy,
You didn't offend me at all:smile:. Remember, just like with all other aspects of people, there are many different levels of bisexual. However, you got me right. Men to me are sexually exciting, but with women, I can feel that deep emotional desire and love, along with that sexual turn on. I don't think that you really can guage bisexuality by percentages, but that's our only option here, and you'll notice that I rated myself at 60% straight, 40% gay. It's that emotional feeling that tipped the scale. Although right now since I'm single, I'm probably more 50/50. I'll go out with either. (That's a plug for anyone interested :biggrin1:, hahahah)
I see someone popped in an earlier post and said that it was just a stop on the road to gay. It's just that kind of lack of understanding that I was referring to in one of my previous posts. You see, at one time, I thought I was gay. At that time I had no knowledge of bisexuality and what it meant. I just knew that I got turned on by guys, so figured "Ok, I'm gay. I had a full on gay relationship with a guy for almost a year. We went out in public, we took vacations together, cooked dinners, etc. Everything that any other couple does. He was a great guy and everything I would look for if I was gay. I was very fond of him, just never got that deep emotional love that I have gotten with my serious relationships with women. With my last gf of 3 years, I even came to the conclusion that as long as I could "be out" as a bisexual man, and not have to hide the fact that I can see an attractive man, or get turned on looking at naked men or man-sex, I could be happy being monagomously in a relationship with a woman. But, she had almost the same concerns you have, only in reverse, and left me. So, now I'm looking for men and/or women to have fun with. (Damnit, another blatant attempt at a plug for me :redface::biggrin1
She let her fear of what "might" happen, cause her to loose the opportunity to be with a man who truly loved her and would have stood by her the rest of her life. This is exactly why I don't want my feelings to scare you, or cause you concern. As I said before, there are so many levels of bisexuality, including guys that CAN be with either men or women sexually, but may choose YOU to be that one in their life, above all else. Don't let the "what if's" or "mights" cause you to overlook anybody. You have just as much chance being in a relationship with a 100% gay guy, and it not working out.
I hope that I helped a bit. If not, I'd be happy to accept a trip up to Canada to help you in person:biggrin1::biggrin1:
And you're welcome to cum, errr, I mean come, if you think you can handle the cold and fend off the polar bears.
I'm sorry that you haven't found the right person who will support your longing and love of "the other sex".
I feel like Mr. Ed and I have beeen exceptionally lucky to have found each other. I like looking at cocks with him and he can look at other women with me and not feel jealous if I express a desire to be with that particular
women.
I have even told him it's fine with me if he wants to be with another man.
I am secure in myself so that he can {if he chooses to} be with
another man to fulfill his desire for sucking cock or be sucked off.
I don't believe I know another couple of lovers ,married,straight or gay
who allow their partners to express themselves in this manner
besides biguy2738 who is also bisexual and married and myself.
You might want to check out biguys2738's blog which he brought here at my urging some time ago. It was instrumental in helping some of us who deal with the same issues that you are expressing.
Why do you doubt the existence of bisexuals Henry?
Men as well as women can and are bisexual. My husband is bisexual as am I and I never had a problem having sex or being emotionally involved with men or women and I don't really have a preference.
I think I would have been happy being with the right woman or with the right man had they been available.
C.B.:saevil:
Great to hear. Thanks! :smile:
Just a clarification: I have never doubted that bisexuality exists. I now use the label "bisexual" to describe myself.
I had, however, believed that many people don't believe bisexuals really exists. I've heard this from friends and family. My sister, who is very "gay positive" (heterosexual but has always had gay friends), has said that whenever a guy says he is bisexual what he really means is he's in the initial stages of accepting his homosexuality.
Or maybe I just watch too many episodes of Friends..... :biggrin1:
YouTube - Bi_Sexuals.......by Phoebe Buffay-----FRIENDS
Perhaps you do watch friends too much Henry and your sister is obviously wrong!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cigarbabe
Hahaha! Of course it is.:biggrin1:
Why do you doubt the existence of bisexuals Henry?
Men as well as women can and are bisexual. My husband is bisexual as am I and I never had a problem having sex or being emotionally involved with men or women and I don't really have a preference.
I think I would have been happy being with the right woman or with the right man had they been available.
C.B.:saevil:
That's what I love about you, C.B. You are so enlightened about human sexuality. You allow people to be who they are sexually, which is so rare.
People are often so baffled by me because I won't label myself. They don't get it: I can get off on hot lipstick lesbian scene with the best of them, and then get blown in the other direction, wanting nothing more than to watch two dudes kiss.
Bull you shouldn't have to be put in some "box" so others are
more comfortable that is why I'm so dead set against
labeling people.
It never really tells you much about the individual him or herself!
I do adore gay porn and BigBull too!:naughty: :kiss:
C.B.:saevil:
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I know lots of bisexual men who have female partners/girlfriends or wives and have open relationships and the wife, girlfriend, female partner knows it and accepts it and is fine with it.
D_Rod Staffinbone
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it's an idiotic quote, from a fictional character. have you done any reading into the subject at all?
In the Azores they think "Gay" is an american thing. A lot of bisexuality going on there. Are they denying true feelings??? So much of "being" is a state of mind.
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I believe it is true that bisexual men exist. I also believe it is true that terming oneself bisexual can be a stop off point in a gay guys road to self-defining. It is often more comfortable for some males to call themselves bisexual before accepting fully that they are gay.
scottredleter
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I think the only thing that keeps all people from at least experimenting with their own sex in the right circumstances is social norms. But that doesn't mean that I dont think people have a preference. I've had good sex with women, but my preference is certainly for other men. I even go farther I think... I used to believe that a man who has sex with another man is gay... cut and dried, until I met up with a guy who claimed to be completely straight, but who fucked the holy hell out of me one night. And, I do believe that he is completely straight. I guess if he had wanted me to fuck him I wouldn't have believed that he was straight. Maybe it's what you do with the other person. On the other hand I know gay men who are 100% tops... that certainly doesn't make them straight. One of the reasons I think that I've come to this conclusion is that I really have a soft spot in my heart for the 100% straight man... If I thought I could never have any experiences with them it would devastate my world. I've gone all around on this post, but bottom line is that I believe that men are sexual beings and when the circumstances are right they will generally go for it... allowing of course for the 100% gay or straight men on either side of the scale.
