question for gay men in the group

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Dec 2, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    wristthickxl: Hi there....I was reflecting recently on a couple of experiences I've had and thought this is the perfect forum to ask if this has happened to any other well-hung gay men....Occasionally I have gone to saunas or bars with a backroom (as opposed to a dark room...I've got to be able to see what is going on)...and twice I've had experiences that grew out of hand. The first was at a sauna in Cologne. I was in the steam room and was getting a lot of attention..but it was very hot and I went to leave when two guys blocked me from doing so and pinned me to the wall. A few others joined them and, while holding me against the wall, they took turns giving me a blowjob. It was hot for a few minutes but then it was really hot and I couldn't breathe and really wanted to go and was only able to do so after a few minutes by putting up a real struggle....The second time was at a bar in Sitges in Spain where so many guys gathered around to see what I had that I was literally blocked in, with all kinds of guys grabbing at my dick. It because very unpleasant very quickly.

    I'm sure you straight guys are probably thinking, gee what a problem, if only we had it that good..But I'm wondering if any of my fellow gay LPSGers have had anything similar happen to them? And what their feelings are about such things?

    And one other question: since we are on the subject of saunas or darkrooms...Because I'm nice-looking, have a good body and a decent-sized dick, I nearly always get the guy I want in those kinds of places.....which inevitably leads to visiting them more often (though in comparison to some acquaintances, my once a month or every six weeks is not very often)...My question: are my fellow gay LPSGers ever concerned that being so well hung leads to promiscuity???

    I'll be interested in reading your replies....Take care
     
  2. Imported

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    mindseye: Hmm, I think there are other factors -- geography definitely plays a role. I live in a national forest; lots of nature around, but not too many people. And I'm definitely less sexually active than my gay friends up in DC where there's a bar at every metro stop for meeting people.

    *sigh* ;)
     
  3. Imported

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    mikeyh9in: Yes... I think it does (at least when I was single). I found my self being much more promiscuous than my friends.

    I use to love going to saunas... when i went to Amsterdam for the first time and went to the day spa, i walked into the steam room and the first guy i saw (it was about 2 feet from the door), dropped to his knees and started to suck me without saying a word. I was quite surprised to say the least. I was young and dumb.

    I then learned to be much more selective (protective?) and took on a bit of an attitude to prevent guys that I really didn't find attractive from attacking. (Believe me, I'm usually the nicest guy and saunas are the only place that I can put on any sort of attitude).

    Inevitably though, once you find a guy you do want to play with, suddenly every other guy in the place feels like they can join in! I hate that.

    I also spent a few days at a hotel called the Barracks in Bangkok. Wow. Great hotel connected to a 24 hour gay bathhouse/night club. Tons of hot international guys and military guys. After my first visit to the sauna, everyone at the hotel seemed to know me and I got a lot of extra service and attention.
    :)
     
  4. Imported

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    Thumper_10x7_CA: I've had pretty similar experiences as wristthickxl. I don't blame anybody for them though, I'm the one in those backrooms or bath houses so I'm inviting trouble. When I pull out my cock at these places a crowd always begins to form and the men start fighting for a closer position so they can be next to play with my dick. (It proves to me that gay men are fascinated with big dicks) There have been times when the crowd is so big, and me being stuck in the middle of it, I have a difficult time getting out. In times like these I just have to be forceful, yet polite. I put my cock back in my pants and shove my way through the crowd telling them the show is over. Eventually they get the idea and let me go. The funny thing is many of them insist on following me around hoping to get another show. It's all part of the game.
     
  5. Imported

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    pghcyclist: I guess I'm confused. You were in two situations and consenting to sexual relations of some sort? Then you wanted to leave and people stopped you without your consent and forced you to have sex? Where I live, we call that rape. If you didn't consent, or withdrew your consent, doesn't really matter where you were or why you were there. "No" means no.

    Scott
     
  6. Imported

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    PackingVegas: Well, luckily I've never been in a "have to leave" situation and not been able to. I'm generally a pretty forceful person though, and my demeanor and clothes (generally boots, jeans w/ chain wallet, motorcycle jacket, etc) tend to help get my point across. I had an experience once in the bathroom of a leather bar where 5 or 6 guys cornered me and (long story short) gang jacked me off. Even though there was no hope of my getting away (I tried), I enjoyed the experience. Mostly probably because these were all hot leathermen, and this was something out of a porn instead of a bad dirty after school special.
    Mostly though, I find that just grabbing the head of my dick and holding onto it, and the good old "NO" do the best job. Fear of being rude is the hardest thing to extricating yourself from situations. But hey, it's your dick, and if they don't respect your wishes, then THEY'RE the rude one...
    It's one of the downsides of being big. That and nighttime wood making it hard to sleep.
     
  7. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    I've been in that situation quite a few times. By coincidence, one such time was also in Sitges, Spain.

    I don't think that I could blame promiscuity on being well-hung. I consider myself reasonably attractive, fit and endowed, and that may mean that the opportunity for casual sex presents itself often, but having a big cock does not mean that I have to act on those offers. Similarly, I have known guys who were, shall we say, 'short changed' in the genital department and they were far more promiscuous than I ever was. Promiscuity comes from a mental or emotional state, I believe; cock size is not the cause.
     
  8. Imported

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    AUncut10in: You are right about the person's attitude, but I have to say being hung definately leads to more opportunities. Sex just seems to always be available without any effort. I know I find myself messing around with guys sometimes just because of the attention. If I had to go looking for it, I probably would have less sex.
     
  9. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

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    [quote author=auncut10in link=board=meetgreet;num=1070412463;start=0#7 date=12/04/03 at 11:30:12]You are right about the person's attitude, but I have to say being hung definately leads to more opportunities.  Sex just seems to always be available without any effort.  [/quote]

    That's just my point. 'Promiscuous' doesn't mean that sex is easily available; it means that you actually engage in sex often. Those are two different animals.
     
  10. Imported

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    wristthickxl: Funny, but I just got off the phone with a friend talking about this very subject....We are both the same age, both considered handsome, nice bodies and he said that he is lucky if 1 or 2 guys in the sauna are interested in him. With me, and it's because of my dick, it's more like 8 or 9 if not 10 of 10 often......and yes, DMW, it's up to us to set limits and say no but I think that is easier said than done...The limit setting is easier...but I agree 100% with auncut10in that it is simply much easier to come by sex....and I think that then leads to more sex too...I really struggle with this because part of my upbringing and value system makes me think being "promiscuous" is a bad thing...and nowadays, of course, unfortunately, it could even mean becoming infected (the more I listen to men with HIV, the more I am convinced that we have been mislead that as long as you practice safe sex, you will be fine...some of my friends have been perhaps promiscuous (a word I hate again) but always practiced safely but maybe the condom broke or the bastard took it off without them knowing, etc......on the one hand, I think as gay men, we have a right to really enjoy our sexuality and if you are a hung man and you go to a sauna and lots of men want you, what is wrong with that? on the other hand, and maybe this is a bit of my religious upbringing, part of us will be "punished" for our promiscuity.....

    just addressing one other issue: Pghcyclist...I understand where you are coming from but I wouldn't go so far as to characterize either of these experiences as rape. Had I screamed for help or something, I'm sure they would have let me go...But the time in the sauna did feel like it was veering towards assault when they pinned me against the wall.....

    at any rate, those are my thoughts...will be interested to read all of yours (I am really happy I found this forum and can share a few topics I've thought years about and never really been able to share with anyone else...if you do with friends, it just feels a bit strange, as if you are just bragging about having a big dick, which is not what it's all about...)
     
  11. Imported

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    happysucks: As a gay guy I would like to say,

    Not all of us need to go to a bath house to find someone.

    It's not "hot" to all of us and I feel most of this thread is leaning to the "if you are gay and have a big one... then the rule book rule # 27 states you have to do this or you lose 4 points"

    I think the fact that one is not able to commit to one person or likes that a quick and easy nut can be had at a bath house is why one goes to them. Ugly or hot. Every one gets some at a bath house.

    This is not a hung thing

    This is not a gay thing

    It's a bath house thing and for other people that go to them thing.


    As a Gay guy I would thank you for not pulling me into this thing. It would only give more people reason to call Gays dirty and willing to catch something and without mind, go back next week and pass it on thing.



    Craig
     
  12. Imported

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    wristthickxl: I have to say happysucks that I resent a bit of what you have written....

    I happen to be in a 3 1/2 year relationship, which, as an American, I realise is practically a record in the USA (I'm being facetious..)...

    But bathhouses here in Europe are quite different than at least my recollection of them in the US....but even so, I don't think it's my duty to hold up some kind of Nickolodeon version of homosexuality here just so straight people will think we are just like them....

    HIV is a terrible scourge and some people get it in a committed relationship and others don't get it after having had sex with thousands of people...Fortunately, my last test was negative...But one of my closest friends just died from AIDS...and I'm certainly not going to cast any stones in his direction...As far as I know, he always practiced safe sex....Like I said in an earlier message, some men I know say the condom broke or maybe they were mislead (their sex partner took it off midway through without them knowing it)...And some people think they are safe in their committed, closed relationship when, in fact, their boyfriend is off playing on the side and both come down with HIV (I am VERY grateful that my boyfriend and I have open and honest discussions about all of this..I know too many men who are sneaking around behind their boyfriends' backs..just like some straight men do, cheating on their wives, I might add....)

    You are entitled to your way of life (evidently in a committed, closed, happy relationship for which you should be grateful..I am for mine) but other gay men are entitled to theirs....I don't see why one is better than the other...
     
  13. Imported

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    happysucks:
    One is not better - But you state it like it's a gay thing to do.

    will be 10 years on feb, 15. Guess that's a life time in "gay years"
     
  14. Imported

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    wristthickxl: Congrats Happysucks on the 10 year anniversary...I hope you both have many more happy, healthy years together...

    I personally don't think it's a "gay" thing..I think it's a "man" thing....As the old adage goes, men are pigs (not all of them)...

    But it reminds me of a cover story in the German magazine Spiegel a few years ago about gays...it mentioned the saunas and bathhouses and then it added, "if such institutions existed for straight men, where hundreds of beautiful women were waiting around for straight men to engage in sex, every city would have to build new on and off ramps from the highway to the sauna, the demand would be that big..."

    let's face it...it's a "man" thing..it's just that, of course, with gays, you have then two men...

    and final thought: yes, gays, like everyone else, run the gamut...a friend of mine has only had sex in his entire life (he is in his mid-40s, with 2 or three men)....but those of us who have engaged in more than that, certainly have a right to talk about it here without worrying that we are somehow impugning the reputation of gay men everywhere....

    anyway, all the best to you
     
  15. Imported

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    happysucks:
    No one said you didn't. I just said it's not a gay thing so don't make it out to be one.

    and I guess I could close this with a "I'm so better than you closing" but then again... I'm gay. Not a queen
     
  16. Imported

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    Thumper_10x7_CA: It's certainly not a "gay thing" to seek out sex. We are just "lucky" to be able to find it so easily if it's desired. I would consider myself more lucky to be able to find a man i can celebrate 10 years with as you have happysucks. I'm jealous!
     
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