Question For Gay Men Who Go: Drag Shows And Straight Womens' Bachelorette Parties-gay Mens' Opions.

antiquityscion

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So, full disclosure, I am a bi male. No need to try to rationalize how attracted to either gender, because it is complicated, even to me. Suffice it to say I am far more attracted to men and trans women, than cis women. I have a ciswoman in my life, but I think if she were not, I would probably would not be with another ciswoman.

Anyway, I like to go to drag shows occasionally. I just think they are fun, and on some level, inspiring. The girls who put on the drag shows do an amazing job usually. It inspires me because they just go for it and be who they are, and are un-apologetically. themselves. They are beautiful and entertaining. I usually have a blast when I go.

However, when I go to such shows, sometimes I see straight women in gaggles at drag shows having a bachelorette party. After the alcohol starts flowing, I have to say more often than not, said bachelorette partiers tend to be not much more than woo girls of the most annoying order. On some level, I have to say in all honestly, I am offended they are there. It's like a group of straight girls who go to party at a place that really should be like a refuge for LGBTQ people from the bullshit of the straight world, and have fun. Especially since life for gay men is especially difficult. Every time I see a group of straight women at a drag show, I have to be honest. It offends me. Why are they there in the first place? What right do they even have to be there. Gay and bi men, as well as CD and trans women are not put on this Earth for the amusement and quaintness of straight women having a bachelorette party. Now, I know said venues who hold drag shows have to do what they have to to stay financially solvent, but got damn, why the eff do straight women have to show up at gay establishments and party it up at drag shows? seems almost like a form of cultural appropriation to me.

Am I wrong to thing that? Do you agree or disagree? If I am jaded, please tell me I am. Offer advice! But seriously, this is a pet peeve of mine.
 

gr8gatsby

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So, full disclosure, I am a bi male. No need to try to rationalize how attracted to either gender, because it is complicated, even to me. Suffice it to say I am far more attracted to men and trans women, than cis women. I have a ciswoman in my life, but I think if she were not, I would probably would not be with another ciswoman.

Anyway, I like to go to drag shows occasionally. I just think they are fun, and on some level, inspiring. The girls who put on the drag shows do an amazing job usually. It inspires me because they just go for it and be who they are, and are un-apologetically. themselves. They are beautiful and entertaining. I usually have a blast when I go.

However, when I go to such shows, sometimes I see straight women in gaggles at drag shows having a bachelorette party. After the alcohol starts flowing, I have to say more often than not, said bachelorette partiers tend to be not much more than woo girls of the most annoying order. On some level, I have to say in all honestly, I am offended they are there. It's like a group of straight girls who go to party at a place that really should be like a refuge for LGBTQ people from the bullshit of the straight world, and have fun. Especially since life for gay men is especially difficult. Every time I see a group of straight women at a drag show, I have to be honest. It offends me. Why are they there in the first place? What right do they even have to be there. Gay and bi men, as well as CD and trans women are not put on this Earth for the amusement and quaintness of straight women having a bachelorette party. Now, I know said venues who hold drag shows have to do what they have to to stay financially solvent, but got damn, why the eff do straight women have to show up at gay establishments and party it up at drag shows? seems almost like a form of cultural appropriation to me.

Am I wrong to thing that? Do you agree or disagree? If I am jaded, please tell me I am. Offer advice! But seriously, this is a pet peeve of mine.
Drag has been elevated and mainstreamed increasingly. I'm sure it's the reason why RuPaul's Drag Race moved over to VHI from Logo... its entertainment and anyone can enjoy. I personally find it much more annoying to bump into a crowd of bachelorette party girls with their purses over their shoulders and a cocktail in their hand on the dance floor of a gay club.
 
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antiquityscion

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I mean I don't want to seem exclusionary, though I suppose I am, to a degree. But I find straight bachelorette paries at drag shows really an encroachment on a venue that has traditionally been a refuge or safe place for the LGBTQ communitye, and drag shows in particular are kind of being exploited by straight bachelorette parties because it is not truly accepted by them, but it is some sort of quaint novelty for them. That is what bugs me the most, I suppose.
 
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I don't see anything wrong with them being there. I wouldn't like it if I were denied access to a "straight" bar just because I am gay. I have heard of them going to cruise bars where sexual activity takes place and I think that's a bit odd but I know a good number of women enjoy watching gay porn haha.
 
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OKCLane

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I agree on some points but we (LGBTQ) can’t scream for inclusivity and in the same breath deny others entry.
Saw a great sign posted at a gay bar entry once. Basically said that everyone was welcome but don’t lose your shit if you see two men kissing.
 

Infernal

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In my 20's I had a few friends that did a circuit of drag shows from one bar to another. There were always straight women that would come in to see shows. This was before the bachelorette parties started to be a thing. For the most part they were all respectful and had a good time. Then there was the one sloppy girlfriend who would get drunk and put her hands on someone. I saw a woman put her hands between a drag queens legs, and they get hysterical when she got groped in return. Somehow she thought it was acceptable because he was dressed as a woman. It quickly became unacceptable when he did it to her because he was a man. One person always ruins it for the others.