Question for ladies re: bisexual men

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_henry miller, Jul 11, 2011.

  1. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    So, we all know that some people claim bisexuals don't really exist. As a bisexual, I often feel pressure to be join one side. Lately, I'm leaning toward just being "gay." But I know that I am still very attracted to women.

    One reason I sort of want to just be gay is because I don't want to subject a woman to a relationship with a bisexual guy. I think that would be too difficult and even confusing.

    So, I thought I'd ask here.... Admittedly, this forum isn't representative of the general population. But I was wondering, What do the females on this forum think of bisexual males? Do you generally think of them as just being "gay" guys after all?

    Thanks.

    Related topic:
    Bisexual erasure - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
     
  2. AlteredEgo

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    I don't think of them as gay. As long as they feel the same way I feel about monogamy, there is nothing I am being subjected to. Why would it be difficult of confusing?
     
  3. dolfette

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    why would it be difficult?
     
  4. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Thanks for the response. I guess maybe the issue is actually me. I guess I just think that if any woman I was with found out I was bisexual, then she may think I'm not a "real man," am not "fully male." So, maybe the issue me. Maybe that's how I really feel about myself.

    I mean, it's possible that the confusion is me. To be honest, I don't understand how it is that some days I want to be with a guy -- and other days I have fantasies about women, and long to be with a woman.

    Recently, a woman who is a conservative Christian has been making advances, and she doesn't konw that I'm bisexual. And I know she wouldn't accept that. So, I've had to consider whether to hide part of who I am, or just not follow up with the relationship. I decided to just not have a relationship with her, because if she is a conservative Christian then we just wouldn't have much in common after all anyway. Hard to explain.
     
  5. dolfette

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    she's got issues with people being gay/bi?
    she's a bigot.
    that's a good enough reason not to date her.

    bigots = eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
     
  6. LaFemme

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    I know I've answered this question here before. I've had relationships with bisexual men before - and I have no problem with it. As long as when he's with me, he is 100% into me, that's all that matters. We negotiate our own relationship and what that means to us. I don't care that he fantasizes about men or has had sex with men. Personally, I find it quite erotic.

    I care about his fidelity and he cares about mine - doesn't matter whether or not it's my attraction to women or his attraction to men. As a couple, our percentages are dedicated to each other.
     
  7. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    lol. Thanks. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt and tell myself that it's not her personal preference. It's the way she was raised. It's what she was taught. THe other aspects of our life match. But I'd have to forever keep my bisexuality closeted. And that's not right. I know it would become known eventually, in some way, and when it did, it would ruin everything. Can't build anything on such a flimsy foundation.

    So, yes, her conservativism is reason enough not to date her. lol. I think I hurt her in a way, the way I just sort of drew away from her. I wish I could explain to her what the real issue is, but that would only result in her rejecting me entirely and her being hurt.

    Thanks for the support.

     
  8. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Thanks for the response. I've raised similar questions before, so maybe it was my thread you responded to. Anyway, thanks for the positive comments. It's interesting that you find it erotic to think about two men together. Weird, but for being a bisexual guy -- I only like hetersexual porn, find it hot when two women get together, and find it arousing to know that some women find it arousing to see two men together. lol. Sexuality is complicated. :biggrin1:


     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    It seems you only needed to do a little thinking in public. I'm glad we could all form a sounding board. I think the more you accept yourself, the less frequently you will attract people to yourself who do not accept you.

    I think you should keep thinking. I believe it will help you. Now that you're considering the possibility that perhaps you are the one who thinks of yourself as less than a man, perhaps you need to explore why that is, and how you can change that stinkin' thinkin'. Good luck.
     
  10. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    in my 40+yrs of being sexually active (& straight), I have found that women frown on bisexual men, but not so much on bisexual women. I have a few female friends that have admitted they have had relations with another woman/women. they have husbands/bfs but every once in awhile, enjoy an afternoon romp with 3-4 gals, and the next week they are having sex with a man.
     
  11. BillyFreakinJohns

    BillyFreakinJohns New Member

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    I am bi and all i have to say is it's fun being married to a bi women ;p
     
  12. LaFemme

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    I agree with AE. My last relationship was with a man who considered himself less a man because of his bisexuality - until he met me. He was all man to me. More so and incredibly so because of his capacity to find love and erotocism in both men & women. He made me feel completely feminine and all woman. He sees himself differently now - he is who he is. 100% himself and capable of accepting himself for who he is and who he loves - whether man or woman.

    There are women like me who will enjoy your sexuality, so be who you are - don't let anyone make you feel like less than who you are.
     
  13. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    I noticed that most of bisex men are above average in penis size.. my thought is that either their sex desire is so big it drives genital growth too or the reverse: in this case having an unusual big dick takes they need more of only a gender to be satisfied..just a theory of mine...
     
  14. helgaleena

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    Wow, Wolf, where do you find all these bi men? And how do you get them to show you their penis?

    And does that mean that because I have a big butt I am extra feminine and it turned me Bi? I don't like this theory but I have no way to refute it yet.
     
  15. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    to ask your first question.. I found them here fro example..and on other sites like this of course.. then I linked the two phenomena...

    as regadr as your sweet big butt, well , yeah it follows the same law as above..
     
  16. LaFemme

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    I've only had relationships with 3 bisexual men - and only one had a "large'" penis... the other two were definitely average. Perhaps you have more experience with penises than I do.

    Edit: I have a boyish ass....yet I am slightly bi myself.
     
  17. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    3 bisex men?? how many partner have you had? :biggrin1: Assuming there is a bsx out of ,say, 30 men... the math is easily done..

    I have no experience with cock as I m str8 and only love pussies... but I like to "study" the things and this is why I joined this forum
     
  18. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Thank you. Something that has occurred to me lately is the following.... I think that, in fact, all men (and maybe all people) are a little on the bisexual side. Most men, however, who have bisexual inclinations do not come out and declare themselves "bisexual." I've known a lot of men who are bisexual who have girlfriends and wives who do not know.

    I suppose this is one reason that bisexuals are hated by some gays: many bisexuals assume a straight identity to the outside world.

    I sometimes wonder if I should do the same, because discrimination does still exist against gays. Maybe just keep the same-sex attractions on the "down low."

    It's just that "bisexual" is such a vague concept. If I am with a guy, then people say I'm "gay" If I'm with a woman, people say I'm "straight."

    I think ultimately labels maybe just don't fuckin work at all. Maybe it's time to be post-sexuality. lol

    Anyway, thanks for the support. :biggrin1:

     
  19. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Great advice. Thank you.
     
  20. dolfette

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    that 'everyone is secretly bisexual' bullshit is just something spouted by bi people to make themselves feel more 'normal'.

    and, yes, i'm bi.
     
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