Question for ladies re: bisexual men

dolfette

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a later study than kinsey shuggested that more men are near 100% gay or straight, with fewer bi males than there are bi females.

*ponders*
 

badger2395

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sexuality is about sexual desire.
admiring or liking a person does not equate to sexual desire.

you might as well say we're all varying degrees of paedophiles, because we can appreciate the beauty of kids and enjoy their company. it's just daft.

sexual desire defines sexuality.


Exactly. Could not have said it better. "Everybody is a little bi" is just another form of bi measure.
 

MysteryMahn

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don't be so nauseatingly patronising.
i understand exactly what you're saying. i just think it's bullshit.
we are all capable of killing, bestiality and taking up a career as a clown. that doesn't mean we're all murderers, dog fuckers and closet coco.
your genes aren't hardwired against kiddy fiddling, racism or converting to islam either.


No, we are not all murderers, dog fuckers and clowns, NOR did I say we were all bisexual. You misunderstood me the first time and assumed thats what I was saying, when I was talking about capability and psychological input on attraction.
 

dolfette

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if everyone (once they are adult and their brains are no longer developing the same way as a child's brain) was capable of changing orientation, there would be a way to 'cure' homosexuality and paedophilia.

show me some evidence that, once we are past childhood, that people have the capacity to change.

...not just swing from 80% to 50% gay, but from 100% straight or 100% gay to bisexual.

did you know that if you sew a kitten's eyes shut at birth and leave them shut for the first few weeks, the kitten will remain blind for life? if those pathways are not built in the early stages of brain development then they never will be. yes, children's' sexuality may be influenced. no, there is no evidence that adults can be turned gay/straight/bi, but they can choose to focus more on a tendency that was already there.
 

MickeyLee

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just to put myself into a snit :redface:

not real comfortable lumping homosexuality and paedophilia in the same group.
one is sexual orientation.
one is pathology.
 

hsarge

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I have never had any bisexual desires, never. I have enjoyed the commaraderie of men in the military and college sports, but no sexual desire whatsoever, and I have been around a few years. I don't understand that sexual attraction, but I do not mind that others do. Il like woman, always have since my youngest days, even when I had little understanding of sex. I just love the female physical form.
 

dolfette

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just to put myself into a snit :redface:

not real comfortable lumping homosexuality and paedophilia in the same group.
one is sexual orientation.
one is pathology.
homo, hetero, bi and pedo are all sexualities.
yes, one of them is vile and wrong.

there are paedophiles who never act on their urges, and they have my sympathy and gratitude. they cannot help having urges. they can only choose how to respond to those urges. many of those urges were created by the abuse that a high percentage of paedophiles suffered themselves as children.
 

MickeyLee

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homo, hetero, bi and pedo are all sexualities.
yes, one of them is vile and wrong.

there are paedophiles who never act on their urges, and they have my sympathy and gratitude. they cannot help having urges. they can only choose how to respond to those urges. many of those urges were created by the abuse that a high percentage of paedophiles suffered themselves as children.

umm paedophilia isn't recognized, by court or by medical science, as a sexuality. is listed as a violent sexual compulsion.

it used to be thought that most peadophiles have a history of abuse. in the last decade or so, more and more research is pointing to the opposite. most active paedophiles do not have an abuse history. in fact the more violent the offender the is less likely the perpetrator suffered an abuse.

eta: sexual criminals are not stupid. the urban legend of abuse history is usually coughed up to reduce sentences. not saying some paedoohiles don't have a history of sometimes horrific abuse. ya just got to realize they are building a defense, they will out and out lie to reduce sentences or be shifted to a treatment facility instead of prison.

i don't congratulate psychotics for not committing murder. kleptos for not pilfering my stereo. don't see why a paedophile deserves a gold medal. :shrug:

eta again: sorry, Mr. Miller for the thread jack.
 
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dolfette

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umm paedophilia isn't recognized, by court or by medical science, as a sexuality. is listed as a violent sexual compulsion.
not by courts, no.

and at one point homosexuality wasn't recognised by courts or medical science as a valid sexuality. it was seen as as a pathology.

but actually, there is a growing trend amongst medical & psychology types to see it as an orientation.

insisting it isn't one is a kneejerk, head in the sand reaction, the same way homosexuality was treated. but the desire is not a choice.

if you test arousal levels in paedophiles viewing pics, the results are often that they have zero response to pictures of adults. attraction to adults isn't part of their sexuality.
 

MickeyLee

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there is no compare between hetero/homosexuality and paedophila. a child can not engage in a healthy or consensual relationship with an adult.

by that reasoning bestiality and necrophilia are just one pride parade away from acceptance.
 
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MickeyLee

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that's why some places use chemical castration.
they can only remove that desire by removing all desire.

chemical castration doesn't remove desire. is a way ineffective control measure.
impotent offenders just move on to object assaults.

just to play asshole:
take a heterosexual male. with a criminal history of violent rapes. his sexual history consists of one night stand with 5 women he wasn't able to perform or he ejaculated prematurely and verbally assault all 5 women. he's raped 19 women. violence escalating with each assault.

when shown pictures of nude women he registers no sexual reaction. when shown images of women in pain, being beaten, being assaulted or rape kits photos of battered women he shows signs of extreme arousal.

now.. is he a violent sexual criminal or does he have a misunderstood sexuality?
 
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dolfette

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there is no compare between hetero/homosexuality and paedophilia. a child can not engage in a healthy or consensual relationship with an adult.
of course not.
i'm not arguing that the act is ok. it clearly isn't.

but we aren't talking about the act.
we're talking about desire and orientation.

it clearly makes you very uncomfortable.
it makes me very uncomfortable too.
but it making people uncomfortable doesn't mean it isn't real or that it's something else.

the desire is not a choice.
the act is.
 

dolfette

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chemical castration doesn't remove desire. is a way ineffective control measure.
impotent offenders just move on to object assaults.
it does work for some.
some pedos beg to be put on those treatments.
people concentrate on failures.
and those it works best for may never have abused and may just desperately need to be rid of the desire, so they'll never show up on any reoffender stats.

but some people (just like the people who are serial sexual abusers of adults) are psychos, sadists, in need of bullet-in-head therapy. people who are already serial offenders have more issues than orientation alone.
 

MickeyLee

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it does work for some.
some pedos beg to be put on those treatments.
people concentrate on failures.
and those it works best for may never have abused and may just desperately need to be rid of the desire.

but some people (just like the people who are serial sexual abusers of adults) are psychos, sadists, in need of bullet-in-head therapy.

again.. sexual criminals of all sorts are liars and manipulative.
heaps of those chemical castration volunteers are fielded from the penal system.
people who receive reduced sentences for participating or it helps during parole hearings.
 

dolfette

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just to play asshole:
take a heterosexual male. with a criminal history of violent rapes. his sexual history consists of one night stand with 5 women he wasn't able to perform or he ejaculated prematurely and verbally assault all 5 women. he's raped 19 women. violence escalating with each assault.

when shown pictures of nude women he registers no sexual reaction. when shown images of women in pain, being beaten, being assaulted or rape kits photos of battered women he shows signs of extreme arousal.

now.. is he a violent sexual criminal or does he have a misunderstood sexuality?
he can be both.

he is a straight male.
he has sadistic desires.
that's his sexuality.

...the world is full of guys like that who don't become rapists. full of them. they have consciences, they either resist entirely or use BDSM as a way to get off. controlled sadism with a willing partner.

he is a rapist.
that's a violent criminal.

...you need to distinguish between desire and action. if desire were a crime, i would be locked up as the biggest serial killer in history! but i have a conscience with prevents me from acting on my desire to kill the stupid arseholes who park on the pavement, block the supermarket aisle, neglect their kids, etc, etc, etc.
 

MickeyLee

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of course not.
i'm not arguing that the act is ok. it clearly isn't.

but we aren't talking about the act.
we're talking about desire and orientation.

it clearly makes you very uncomfortable.
it makes me very uncomfortable too.
but it making people uncomfortable doesn't mean it isn't real or that it's something else.

the desire is not a choice.
the act is.

what makes me uncomfortable is allowing mental pathology be classified as a sexual orientation.

laws protecting people from discrimination based on sexuality were hard fought and are still on shaky ground. allowing a sexual criminal the same protection is insulting as all get out.

and unbelievably dangerous to making convictions stick.
 

dolfette

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again.. sexual criminals of all sorts are liars and manipulative.
heaps of those chemical castration volunteers are fielded from the penal system.
people who receive reduced sentences for participating or it helps during parole hearings.
exactly. hence the stats showing the high failure rates.
these aren't just paedophiles. they are criminals.

...being a paedophile isn't illegal. sexual contact with children is.
until a paedophile acts upon his desires he is just a person with a sexuality which it would be wrong to act upon.

but there are pedos who have never been convicted or offended who still opt for the treatment. what decent human being wouldn't yearn to be rid of such vile desires?
 

dolfette

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what makes me uncomfortable is allowing mental pathology be classified as a sexual orientation.

laws protecting people from discrimination based on sexuality were hard fought and are still on shaky ground. allowing a sexual criminal the same protection is insulting as all get out.

and unbelievably dangerous to making convictions stick.
not at all.

heterosexuality is an orientation.
heterosexual rape is illegal and, if convicted, rapists face prison. even though desiring a woman is in his nature, inflicting that desire upon the unwilling is wrong.

a child cannot consent.
ever.
whether you class it as an orientation or a pathology, they are still performing an illegal act for which they can be convicted.
sex with a child will still be wrong, illegal and obscene.

the crime is in the act,
not in the desire.