Question for married couples

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_lrgeggs, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. B_lrgeggs

    B_lrgeggs New Member

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    or committed couples. Question. Let's say you are out of town and you meet someone you and there is very much a mutual attraction to. How far would you take it? Here are the factors to consider to help you decide,

    1) The sex will be very good'
    2) No one will ever find out
    3) There will be no STD's or Pregnancies to worry about
    4) This is only a one night stand

    How far would you take it?
     
  2. hung15us

    hung15us Member

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    i would not. You made a comment to yourself your wife and god. I traveled for 30 + years every week to the same towns and had operatunities and never did. Life is to short to hide it form your wife and she would find out any way.
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    My partner and I made a commitment to each other that we would not sleep with other people unless we did it together.
    Whenever I have met someone while traveling I always make sure that I make that perfectly clear.
    The no one will ever find out argument does no hold any weight with me because I would know; further I would know that I have not taken my commitments seriously and can't be trusted. Trust is a big issue with me.
     
  4. petite

    petite New Member

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    Nothing would happen.

    I have a built in defense mechanism for this situation. When I'm not single, I'm habitually avoidant of the men that I'm most attracted to. When I met TheBF I was very strongly attracted to him, but I literally avoided him in situations where there would be alcohol, where it would be too easy to fall into bed (like when my friends went swimming with him at a hotel, I thought, oh, that's just too easy, and I didn't go), and I avoided touching him. By the time he asked me out again, this time when I was single, we had literally never touched each other, even though he had been a part of my social circle for 3 months. No hugs, no handshakes, nothing.

    I know it's extreme and it's obvious overcompensation, and it's not like I thought that if I gave him a hug, I would end up in bed with him. I think it's more like, if I hugged him it wouldn't be a platonic hug for me, and I would be deriving a pervy pleasure from it that I knew I shouldn't, so I just didn't hug him. Now, as far as the alcohol is concerned, I learned as a young woman that lust + alcohol = nekkidness. Avoiding the object of my lust around alcohol just makes sense.
     
    #4 petite, Jan 25, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2011
  5. Enid

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    no, i can't and/or just simply wouldn't

    like nudey trust is a big deal to me

    if i am that attracted to someone else i am going to contemplate leaving the relationship, then

    but someone i meet out of town for the first time isn't going to cause me to do that

    the other person would have to be a big deal (to me) and things would probably not be going as well as hoped in the relationship for me to even be considering it
     
  6. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    I've been in this situation and I declined. The consequences just aren't worth it. My husband and I have been together too long, he would know. Even if he didn't figure it out I'm a terrible liar and would end up telling him anyway.
     
  7. phndoc

    phndoc Member

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    I would not. Been married 30 yrs, not going to throw that away. When I am out of town, I go with other guys to the bar or I stay in my hotel room. You think no one will find out, but they do. I found out when my wife stepped out.
     
    #7 phndoc, Jan 25, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2011
  8. dbjones1969

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    no, would never do it. not really a matter of her finding out - it is a matter of ME knowing, and me not wanting anyone else anyway... and I would have to live with the guilt of breaking the trust of someone I made a commitment to. Just not worth it - maybe i am a bit old fashioned but a commitment is a commitment and trust is everything.
     
  9. nicenycdick

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    Wish I could vote with the clearly moral majority here....but I can't. As I have lamented here on other occasions, my sex life with my wife is non-existent. Except for the fact that I do not like one-night stands, the scenario is not one I would totally avoid...
     
  10. dbjones1969

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    a non-existent sex life is very sad and must be trying as hell... perhaps some of our"moral" responses might slightly change coming from this scenario... would make things VERY difficult thats for sure. I feel for you friend. and good luck.
     
  11. Matt37

    Matt37 New Member

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    That would be one of those times I was happy to be in an open relationship. :D
     
  12. Phil Ayesho

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    Why not simply ask whether people have a sense of personal ethics and honor? or are self absorbed moral relativists?

    Two people will know what you did... the person you did it with, and, more importantly, the person in the mirror.


    Is one night's sexual escapade worth sacrificing all honor and honesty?
     
  13. jakeryder

    jakeryder Member

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    I would bang the hell out of her, and tell my wife who would be jealous she wasn't there with me.
     
  14. BobLeeSwagger

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    I'd tell her that I'd only fuck her after my wife does.
     
  15. D_Tallie_Wacker

    D_Tallie_Wacker Account Disabled

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    I'd take it back to my hotel room.

    ALONE, because I'm married and wouldn't cheat on my wife. If she gave me permission for some reason or wanted a threesome, that would be different, but I wouldn't go do that behind her back.
     
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    When I have committed myself to a monogamous relationship, I do not have sex with others. Simple as that.

    When I first made a monogamous commitment to my ex, I had to stop seeing my FB entirely (even as friends) because we couldn't keep our hands off each other. But I wouldn't have entered into a monogamous relationship if I was unwilling to make such a sacrifice. And much as I loved my FB (as a friend), my relationship with my ex was more important to me than spending time with my FB.

    And even when the relationship with my ex became sexless, I still didn't pick up the phone and call my FB. Because I'd made a promise to be monogamous.
     
  17. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Hmm, usually takes more than mutual attraction.

    But, if I just had to do something with the person, even kissing, would discuss with my partner and then go for it. If we had not already discussed it before I left town, which is the more likely scenario.Yes, we would still discuss after.
     
  18. art

    art
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    "Committed" means you don't have sex with other people, no matter the attraction.
     
  19. jakesph

    jakesph New Member

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    As an engaged man i've done this once before. The old me would take the opportunity and do it but the new me would simply avoid the situation entirely. Now I may have done sme stupid things in the past but I've had to learn to control myself and be the better person. If I was allowed I probably still wouldn't do it now.
     
  20. Daisy

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    It's easy to justify cheating in a marriage, you can explain it away and you can rationalize it, but the truth is..if you're at the point where you want to cheat it's time to get some help. If you had her permission that I'd say go for it but if she's in the dark. No. Not worth it for either of you.
     
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