Gawd, another butch/fem thread!
I'm a non-versatile top; I'm also very unaffected in my mannerisms, not fem nor self-consciously fake-butch in an overcompensating manner. A firm handshake needn't break my hand, for instance. I'm just me, and I've always been just me, and I have nothing to prove to the world one way or the other.
Many guys, regardless of their sexual roles and/or sexual orientation, can be rather fem. I've met more than a few total tops who are also unambiguously gay to the point of swish; most bottoms I meet also have a swishy side, though by no means all. I'm most attracted to guys who are comfortable in their skin, without any affectation or pretense. Self-consciously butch gay men are extremely affected
by definition, and I find that very unsexy.
In contrast, I find much camp humor to be hysterically funny, and I find a sense of humor to be very sexy (though it's by no means my only criteria or preference) just like I find intelligence very sexy. So though I may see the allure in the "dumb jock" type, and might fuck him once if he met some of my other criteria/preferences, I'd never consider him a serious candidate for a relationship.
Self-confidence and honesty are infinitely more important to me than the degree to which a man conforms to straight-dictated gender role clichés.
As to whether or not an especially effeminate man isn't really a woman: no, he's not. He's still a man. Even if in recent years I've grown increasingly indifferent to penis (and I have to any except my own), I still prefer that my sexual partners be equipped with one, especially if it's smallish/average and uncircumcised.
I'm a manfucker: I fuck men's asses; I have little interest in a woman's ass and even less in her pussy. That's why I'm gay
