Question for older guys

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by Goose_Eggs, Nov 14, 2017.

  1. Goose_Eggs

    Goose_Eggs Well-Known Member

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    My partner and I just got home yesterday from a weekend in Palm Springs. We were there for a big birthday party and were staying with acquaintances (good friends of friends). There was another couple (older, 69 and 71) staying at the house in addition to the owners. Everyone very nice, we all got along, the 69 year old is a major flirt, constantly teasing and talking about cocks and sex. So after the first day it is obvious that the older couple no longer have sex (or much anyway) and the 69 year old plays around. They were very nice, my partner always teasing with him, etc., and it became clear he wanted to play around with us, he made sure we knew he had a big dick, even made sure we "accidentally" saw it, lol. It had nothing to do with age, we are both mid 50s, or appearance, he was nice looking, but we just don't fuck outside our relationship, we have great sex and enjoy each other.

    So the last morning I get up early to pee, as I pass through a small hallway to the bathroom I get a glance of Chuck going to the hot tub from his room naked with a big boner hanging. I'm sure it was quite intentional on his part, which was fine because it got me horned up on my way back to bed. Feeling frisky, we decided to mess around. After some initial playing we decided to fuck for a while, on the way to get lube I casually stopped by the window to look out and carefully left the drapes slightly open. While pumping away on my partner from behind I glanced over and saw Chuck outside watching. I couldn't tell if he was jacking off, but he was certainly having a nice watch -- I even stepped it up a bit, turned so he could have a nice view, and made sure we went for a "long ride" that morning.

    On the flight home, my partner mentions that the curtains were open this morning and he thought he saw Chuck outside (I should have pushed his head further into the pillow, lol). I gave in and admitted that I had seen him earlier and intentionally opened them, maybe to give him a little "show". My partner said that was wrong and if we weren't interested in having sex it was simply teasing him and not nice. I didn't view it that way at all.

    The question: Now I'm not saying I was Mother Theresa doing charity work, but I viewed it as maybe just a nice cheap thrill for Chuck if he wanted to have a watch, no harm. Was it that? or was I being a misleading tease?
     
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  2. Vancouver guy

    Vancouver guy New Member

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    I think you did Chuck a favor. Gave him a thrill to watch you plow your bf in any case....
     
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  3. Goose_Eggs

    Goose_Eggs Well-Known Member

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    I guess I viewed it as an alternative to what I know he wanted ;)
     
  4. HotBulge

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    Yes, your did Chuck a favor. AND

    No, you weren’t being misleading b/c the s x was strictly between you and your partner and was not an invitation to a three way.

    ———

    I admit to using “gendered” thinking, but by the time men reach middle age, there isn’t too much new under the sun regarding sex and sexual desires. If Chuck can flash you with a raging boner on the way to the hot tub, he is certainly “resilient” enough to see two guys ducking.

    For example, when I see two guys fucking in the dunes, I just walk by and tell them to carry on and enjoy themselves - seeing a couple fucking in no great mystery after one has been around the block a few times. In this internet porn age, it shouldn’t be a surprise. Chuck probably had a vicarious thrill; your partner soUnds like he’s voicing his own insecurities, even when you were in a private setting.
     
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  5. hvdude

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    I'm the same age as you and know a lot of guys like Chuck. They are flirty sometimes including touching to the point of being rude.

    You gave him the next best thing to actually doing it with him. The only way you could have made it better is to yell out his name as you came!
     
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  6. Goose_Eggs

    Goose_Eggs Well-Known Member

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    LOL, wish I'd have thought of that, he really was a sweetheart, might have made his day. Or maybe turned around and looked right at him when I shot my wad, though that startle might have given him a heart attack!
     
  7. Sklar

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    I guess I'm seeing it differently than everyone else.

    You had a nice, older well hung man who made it obvious that he was interested in both of you.

    Instead of just letting him know you weren't interested, you left the curtains open then, when you saw he was watching, stepped up your game to let him know what he won't be getting.

    "Giving him a thrill."

    More like "Look what you can't have."

    Not cool.

    Sklar
     
  8. bigmanfan

    bigmanfan Well-Known Member

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    I tend to agree, Lord knows I hear no often enough, but I really wouldn't want a pity peer at what I wasn't getting.
     
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  9. Goose_Eggs

    Goose_Eggs Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps I wasn't clear in the OP. Yes, we did make it quite clear to Chuck that there would be no 3-way. It was done in a nice way, he wasn't offended, neither were we, and no feelings were hurt. He just continued to be, "flirty" shall we say. Not to the point of being rude, but persistent.

    I really wanted to get the opinion of people more Chuck's age, to get their perspective on it.
     
  10. Goose_Eggs

    Goose_Eggs Well-Known Member

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    and do keep in mind, he had to walk around the house and peer into the window totally uninvited, we didn't go do it in his doorway, and I didn't bait him or lead him on.
     
  11. bigmanfan

    bigmanfan Well-Known Member

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    Didn't think for one minute you were rubbing his nose in it, while I get watching he does come across as just a bit creepy
     
  12. Tbprivate

    Tbprivate Well-Known Member

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    If the guy was young and fit, he wouldn’t be considered particularly creepy for showing an interest in hooking up or looking through the windows.

    It saddens me when old guys are ridiculed for being sexual hunters just because of their age.
     
  13. bigmanfan

    bigmanfan Well-Known Member

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    I wasn't trying to be ageist, I have a preference for older guys anyway. Certainly an older guy looking for a sexual partner is entirely unremarkable and good for him, I hope it's me one day. If I was being watched through the window by anyone be they 18 or 80 I would be creeped out unless I had chosen to be watched. Sometimes I have but this is generally not the case.
     
  14. Andrue

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    And there it is. Awesome.
    You just made Tbprivate's point quite clear.
     
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  15. KennF

    KennF Well-Known Member

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    If he wasn't enjoying it, he wouldn't have watched. We've all passed by things we don't find interesting and walked on by. Most guys I know have a bit of a voyeuristic streak in them, and many have exhibitionist streaks as well, so all you did was engage those non-physical sexual acts. In fact, you were doing the same... you saw him showcasing his cock and it got you horned up. So, it wasn't a one way activity.

    There was no promise or suggestion that there would be more, so, no... I don't see the harm or misleading part to this.

    It didn't cheapen the act, or the relationship with your partner. Your partner, who was also aware of his presence, could have stopped and shut the curtains.

    Everyone in the incident made a choice to continue.
    Each one acknowledged his thrill in the voyeurism and exhibitionism.
    And everyone of them gave their willing consent with no strings attached.

    If someone has guilt afterwards, it probably is personal embarrassment at their own sexual reaction to the scene.
     
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  16. linniejr

    linniejr Well-Known Member

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    I'll say this, you should have let your partner know what you were doing, however, if the person watching was enjoying himself, I don't see anything wrong with it. Let's be honest, we look at porn don't we? Not that much different.
     
  17. farmhand

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    Possibly only remotely related to this thread: when I out-of-town visiting a friend, he and I slept together (we've played previously), also visiting him was his EX from 12~15 (or more?) years earlier; my friend, we interestingly shared same birthdate, although his six years earlier. And his EX "older" and I think area of 10~15 years additional. EX was in the "other bedroom."
    Sometime wee hours of night I went to bathroom, and "accidentally" returned to the wrong bedroom, climbed in with John's EX, and did some cuddling (no protest) and stroking, then slid under covers and did a BJ {n-i-c-c-c-e dick !, and"operational" for a then "older man."} THEN went back to climb in with my friend.
    I did tell friend John about it. Nothing else was said, although John later told me his EX later told him of it and had thoroughly enjoyed the BJ, and the attention, and sorta please with himself he'd been able to "perform" [apparently the oft-older-person usually ED, which for this event didn't interfere]
     
  18. keenobserver

    keenobserver Well-Known Member

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    Your partner has a right to privacy as well. If you both, as a couple decided to do this then fine, I'm sure the view was enjoyed. However to me it is a serious trust violation to make your partner part of your good deed without his consent. True you did nor put it on line, but you opened the curtains expecting to get a viewer - that's not nice to the person you should be most considerate of. I also think it was as much about saying to the peeper, "Look what you can't have." It's like taking an expensive car into a poor neighborhood and flaunting it to people who can never have it. In the end it does not create hope or inspiration, it leaves a bitter residue.
     
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  19. aldawg

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    For the OP: Goose Eggs, I'm with you on this one. I am by no means a spring chicken myself, and if he was wanting a look, which he obviously was, you did him a favor and made it easier for him. I've done the exact same thing in gym showers-when I can tell someone is trying to look around the curtain, I'll open it a bit and give them a little show. Age has nothing to do with it. Fun for me...fun for them. Innocent fun-don't make too much of it by the overthinking above.....
     
  20. nellon399

    nellon399 Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes older men really push their limits with younger men, more so than when younger men flirt with other younger men. I don't see them acting with the same enthusiasm among other older men however. You don't have to be rude but older men shouldn't be so pushy.
     
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