Question for other gay guys....

[dudepower1982]

I am 25 y/o, gay...but I have never had a boyfriend. Mainly this is because I used to live in a less metropolitan area lacking any major gay social scene....and now I live in suburban Los Angeles, so I think I will have more opportunities. However, I'm not accustomed to dating, and I'm not sure what's the best way of going about meeting other gay guys for potential relationships. I'm reluctant to meet people through online dating services, because I've heard a lot of horror stories...and I'm also concerned about falling for a guy who might have an STD.

I also (rather self-consciously) will admit that I'm mostly a virgin...my only sexual experience has been receiving a blow job from another guy (although i LOVED it!!!). So I'm very sexually inexperienced, and I was wondering what are some pieces of advice you might have for me, based on your own experiences, before I actually have my real *First_Time*?

I'm a little worried, because I'm afraid I'm going to fall for a guy, and then if we get intimate I won't really know what I'm doing.

 

[Dave NoCal]

My recommendation is that you find a service activity that involves the gay community and something that is important to you. Volunteering can be a great way to meet people with similar values and you can get to know them outside of formal "dating." Bear in mind that straight youth generally date people they have previously met and have come to like. The still unfortunate rarity of this for GLTB youth can complicate the development of adult intimate relationships.
Dave

 

[jagerman420]

I agree with NoCal, volunteering is a great way to meet people. I'm also very into the bar scene, but not everyone is. As far as advice in the bedroom, remember "no glove no love". And if you plan on being a bottom for the first time, let the guy know, I'm sure he'll take it slow.

 

[swellguy]

Ditto on the volunteering. Great way to meet like-minded men. As far as meeting someone in a bar; I too always thought that was a dreadful way to meet a potential partner but I have to admit that 19 years ago I met a man in a bar and 19 years later we are still together. It can happen.

Good luck; the best advice I can really give is that meeting the right person can often happen when you least expect it. With my partner, I just was looking to get my rocks off. We were very casual about the whole relationship for the first year; it just sort of grew out of that. We did not move in together until we knew each other for 4 years. When you meet someone, take your time.

 

[HotBulge]

Perhaps you should initially focus on making friends with other guys who are gay first. Then you an worry about relationships. Community building is most important when you start off in a new location. Once you find gay friends, you can then collectively go out and interact in a wider setting. I would also recommend trying to meet gay men of different ages as well, so you can see how they have led their lives and benefit from their advice.

Only go to gay bars with friends. Don't go with the intention of meeting someone for the evening. It's the one highly probable way to encounter disappointment. Gay culture exists beyond the bar scene.

 

[nudeyorker]

I ditto all of the above...When you do meet someone, be honest about your lack of experience and take your sexual encounters one step at a time and build your comfort leval with yourself and your partner(s)
And remember always play safe!

 

[invisibleman]

Only go to gay bars with friends. Don't go with the intention of meeting someone for the evening. It's the one highly probable way to encounter disappointment. Gay culture exists beyond the bar scene.

Yeah, you are most definately right about that. Internet dating is worse than going to a gay bar.

Volunteering for public service is the best advice. Don't rush to have sex. There's always time for that.