Question for Shy Guys...

someperson

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Do you prefer a potential partner take the lead when first meeting/dating?

If no, are you comfortable leading with the right person/connection?

If yes, is it just about initiating enough to make you secure in his/her interest, then you bloom, or does initiating always present as a struggle?

I find assertive women attractive huge turn on too.(can be verbal or nonverbal flirting) But personality is important also, if she has some kind of attitude it's a instant turn off..(too much stress.)


But you are asking someone that has never been on a date or had a GF. much less had sex.


I have been asked out a 4 times but I did decline(6 if you count the two guys lol.) This was in the past 4 years.At the time I was kinda depressed so I did not want to bring anyone into my problems .
 

ClawdineKitten

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I'm a rather foreword person with people I know well. As it seems I have been the one to start things almost all the time. I think it would be sexy if the guy took the lead once in a while.
 

D_Bubba_Butter

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I'm generally pretty confident, sometimes in a 'plotting to take over the world' kind of way - which clearly why I'm here. But when it comes to meeting new romantic interests, I can be pretty shy until I get to know them properly. By being shy initially, I think I do develop more confidence in my new partner's interest in a relationship. Also, there are few things hotter than a woman taking control & initiating sex the first time (to me, at least)... & perhaps there's also an element of allowing her to pace things, so I know she's entirely comfortable when we do get intimate...

But once that's sorted, shyness is out of the window.
 

avg_joe

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Do you prefer a potential partner take the lead when first meeting/dating?

If no, are you comfortable leading with the right person/connection?

If yes, is it just about initiating enough to make you secure in his/her interest, then you bloom, or does initiating always present as a struggle?

I prefer to keep quiet and relax myself when meeting with a potential date.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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I prefer to keep quiet and relax myself when meeting with a potential date.
Have you had the experience where a potential partner interprets your reticence as a sign there's no interest? How do you keep quiet but shtill communicate, "hey, I like you" to the potential date?

I'm a rather foreword person with people I know well. As it seems I have been the one to start things almost all the time. I think it would be sexy if the guy took the lead once in a while.

I agree. Which is why I think blooming, when one has the knowledge someone wants to snog them silly, is an important factor in dating shy people - it takes some of the pressure off.

I find assertive women attractive huge turn on too.(can be verbal or nonverbal flirting) But personality is important also, if she has some kind of attitude it's a instant turn off..(too much stress.)


But you are asking someone that has never been on a date or had a GF. much less had sex.


I have been asked out a 4 times but I did decline(6 if you count the two guys lol.) This was in the past 4 years.At the time I was kinda depressed so I did not want to bring anyone into my problems .
I'm not sure where you will find an assertive person without an attitude or a challenging nature at least some of the time - it kind of goes hand-in-hand, Ime. Bitchy = fun. :tongue:
 

someperson

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I'm not sure where you will find an assertive person without an attitude or a challenging nature at least some of the time - it kind of goes hand-in-hand, Ime. Bitchy = fun. :tongue:

too much attitude and bossing around can be really stressful. There for a turn off.
 

D_JacqueMiHoff

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Quick answers?
Maybe.
Yes.
Yes/No.

I guess it depends on the situation.

I am very shy and anxious when meeting new people. That being said, I don't necessarily need that person to take the lead. All I really need is to feel comfortable being in a person's presence. Once that happens, I can be very flirty and even sort of forward.

When a person is forward with me it actually makes me feel really shy. I mean, even if I really want to kiss someone, if they initiate it I will blush like crazy. Same if they start paying me compliments. This is not to say that it's a turn off because it isn't. It just sort of takes me aback. I think one of the hard aspects of shyness is not being sure how to handle attention, even when it's positive.

This--is it just about initiating enough to make you secure in his/her interest, then you bloom--is very much true for me. Make me feel at ease and it all comes out.

Everything this dude just said except for the blushing part.
 

minimag

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What makes you seem bcreepy?

That's a loooong story. Imagine a 30-something that has never been comfortable in his own skin, not even for a split second. Add in several fun "personality disorders" and a loooong family history of alcoholism and mental illness (including schizophrenics and bi-polars).