Question For Small To Average Endowed Straight Guys

[spaj8987]

I would have felt far differently over time had I been rejected for being too big but in a certain situation it can be just as demoralizing if the person who rejects you is what you believe to be your soulmate.

I wasn't rejected over size but boy can i sympathize with those who were. That's a specific kind of hurt. Especially when you really think the person who rejected you was the last person you'll ever be with.

 

[DeclanBrent]

I haven’t been very successful unfortunately in carrying it out. Severe substance abuse, 2 suicide attempts and countless ruined moments of my life prove that I’m better at giving advice than taking it. I’m the product of the wrong approach and that’s why I know the opposite would have yielded better results.

Word. And you're not alone. I've been to those dark places too, for different reasons.

 

[hammer75]

Agreed. But I would definitEly argue that that 'problem' is confined to the late Baby Boomers and early Generation Xers who didn't grow up in the porn era or experience the more liberal attitude taken sexually by women. Nowadays, women can reject on penis size even before they see the guy's face, and if they dump him after because of it, there are oceans of horny willing desperate men to take their place. I would say for those women 35 and under in the west, far fewer are in the situation you've mentioned.
For the substantially small, there are dildos and other replacements. But that completely comes down to whether the man can get a sexual kick out of seeing his partner satisfied by something other than his dick. If he can - and I certainly could - then that might go some way towards taking the frustration out of the argument. Communication is key though.

This is the problem when you over sexualize the culture. The media takes on some form of moral authority and pushes what they want. I can not believe how many articles in large publications I found recently that pushed why women love larger cocks. A decade ago you wouldn’t have seen that but that’s the narrative that the culture wants to push. So when people see that they believe it’s the normative response of all women. I’ve only engaged in one purely physical relationship, as short lived as it was, and it was not the cure I was looking for and probably not for most people. I’m not going to “preach from the pulpit” here about societal norms but clearly I don’t think that the idea of a hookup culture and people over obsessing over body parts when it comes to human interaction has been a positive.

 

[hammer75]

I would have felt far differently over time had I been rejected for being too big but in a certain situation it can be just as demoralizing if the person who rejects you is what you believe to be your soulmate.

I have the benefit of now being with someone who doesn’t put size first but accepts reality and loves me for who I am. I’m just the one who beats myself up for not being the man she should have had, and that’s not just penis size but several areas where I fall short physically and financially.

 

[hammer75]

Agreed. But I would definitEly argue that that 'problem' is confined to the late Baby Boomers and early Generation Xers who didn't grow up in the porn era or experience the more liberal attitude taken sexually by women. Nowadays, women can reject on penis size even before they see the guy's face, and if they dump him after because of it, there are oceans of horny willing desperate men to take their place. I would say for those women 35 and under in the west, far fewer are in the situation you've mentioned.
For the substantially small, there are dildos and other replacements. But that completely comes down to whether the man can get a sexual kick out of seeing his partner satisfied by something other than his dick. If he can - and I certainly could - then that might go some way towards taking the frustration out of the argument. Communication is key though.

Me and my wife have tried the toy route, and without a doubt we’re much more beneficial to her physically, she still prefers me because it is me. I also offered to let her get a fwb with a large penis, I actually found a decent guy with a huge one willing to help, and she told me that would end the marriage. So communication is absolutely key not only for the bedroom but successful relationships overall.

 

[DeclanBrent]

This is the problem when you over sexualize the culture. The media takes on some form of moral authority and pushes what they want. I can not believe how many articles in large publications I found recently that pushed why women love larger cocks. A decade ago you wouldn’t have seen that but that’s the narrative that the culture wants to push. So when people see that they believe it’s the normative response of all women. I’ve only engaged in one purely physical relationship, as short lived as it was, and it was not the cure I was looking for and probably not for most people. I’m not going to “preach from the pulpit” here about societal norms but clearly I don’t think that the idea of a hookup culture and people over obsessing over body parts when it comes to human interaction has been a positive.

I have a theory on why the media has made this acceptable.
In their attempt to be female-friendly, to show they are not part of the patriarchy - in fact that the patriarchy is a vile beast personified by the likes of Roger Ailes and Harvey Weinstein - they have bent over the other way. Their message is that women have been denied their right to sexual pleasure by us pigly, come-too-quickly men. But ladies, the media is desperate to signal, YOU have just as much right to pleasure as a man. So far, so good. But then we get into this territory: if a big dick is what makes you feel good and a small one doesn't, then ladies you have the right, the obligation to your sisters to be loud and proud about that. You don't have to explain to any man why you're dumping his short dick ass or why you're choosing a repulsive fuck buddy because he fills and stretches you with his fleshy Eiffel Tower.
And all the lovely ladies who might really not have cared too much one way or the other start to think: what's all this fuss about dick size? Ah, they're saying I shouldn't be ashamed of loving size? So what is it about size that's so good - I gotta find out.
And so the media drives the cultural grind until eventually the message soaks into the cultural consciousness that big dicks are better than small dicks so you go, girl!
And that's all fine and good and wonderful - but the problem is that it must entail someone - a group - being thrown under the bus. Those small dick motherfuckers. Quit your whining babies, us women have had to put up with your mysogynistic abuse for decade, centuries, so get back in your box. And the small guys go 'Hey that's discrimination. You can't say that! I couldn't get away with saying your vaj makes the Grand Canyon look like a mouse hole But hey I'm sure my bigger bros will step in to speak up for me because they're like my dudes' - but no the bigger bros are getting far too much attention from the girls and the media for looking like porn stars and the average guys don't want to get involved because that'll mean they're defending being small which means everyone will think THEY'RE small, and that would be mortifying, horrifying, absolutely the worst thing in the world, because then girls would snigger and gossip and your so called bros would think you less of a man. And so they say nothing or join the ridicule.
And so is born a type of Incel. And the media is jubilant because they have a cracking news story about embittered horrible hateful young men on the fringes of society that will sell papers like hot cakes and get clicks like Kardashian. And so it continues...

My wildly over generalised and clearly (partly) tongue in cheek take on our fucked up world

 

[hammer75]

I have a theory on why the media has made this acceptable.
In their attempt to be female-friendly, to show they are not part of the patriarchy - in fact that the patriarchy is a vile beast personified by the likes of Roger Ailes and Harvey Weinstein - they have bent over the other way. Their message is that women have been denied their right to sexual pleasure by us pigly, come-too-quickly men. But ladies, the media is desperate to signal, YOU have just as much right to pleasure as a man. So far, so good. But then we get into this territory: if a big dick is what makes you feel good and a small one doesn't, then ladies you have the right, the obligation to your sisters to be loud and proud about that. You don't have to explain to any man why you're dumping his short dick ass or why you're choosing a repulsive fuck buddy because he fills and stretches you with his fleshy Eiffel Tower.
And all the lovely ladies who might really not have cared too much one way or the other start to think: what's all this fuss about dick size? Ah, they're saying I shouldn't be ashamed of loving size? So what is it about size that's so good - I gotta find out.
And so the media drives the cultural grind until eventually the message soaks into the cultural consciousness that big dicks are better than small dicks so you go, girl!
And that's all fine and good and wonderful - but the problem is that it must entail someone - a group - being thrown under the bus. Those small dick motherfuckers. Quit your whining babies, us women have had to put up with your mysogynistic abuse for decade, centuries, so get back in your box. And the small guys go 'Hey that's discrimination. You can't say that! I couldn't get away with saying your vaj makes the Grand Canyon look like a mouse hole But hey I'm sure my bigger bros will step in to speak up for me because they're like my dudes' - but no the bigger bros are getting far too much attention from the girls and the media for looking like porn stars and the average guys don't want to get involved because that'll mean they're defending being small which means everyone will think THEY'RE small, and that would be mortifying, horrifying, absolutely the worst thing in the world, because then girls would snigger and gossip and your so called bros would think you less of a man. And so they say nothing or join the ridicule.
And so is born a type of Incel. And the media is jubilant because they have a cracking news story about embittered horrible hateful young men on the fringes of society that will sell papers like hot cakes and get clicks like Kardashian. And so it continues...

My wildly over generalised and clearly (partly) tongue in cheek take on our fucked up world

I think they do it to make money and continue their relevance. There seems to be a lot of information out there about how little sex we are having as humans and how unhappy we all are. Not sure if there is any correlation but it’s interesting to say the least.

 

[DeclanBrent]

I think they do it to make money and continue their relevance. There seems to be a lot of information out there about how little sex we are having as humans and how unhappy we all are. Not sure if there is any correlation but it’s interesting to say the least.

Yeah agreed.

 

[carolinagent]

Maybe a little concerned about my size, no pun intended, when undressing in a locker room. But I am content with my dick. I've gotten no complaints.

Now that the internet provides a visual smorgasbord of dicks people have a impersonal guide of what's big. They see & hear porn and are led to believe big dick equals pleasure. Well it maybe but until such time as it's illegal or I don't get erections I will keep my 6×4 dick in action.

 

[DeclanBrent]

Maybe a little concerned about my size, no pun intended, when undressing in a locker room. But I am content with my dick. I've gotten no complaints.

Now that the internet provides a visual smorgasbord of dicks people have a impersonal guide of what's big. They see & hear porn and are led to believe big dick equals pleasure. Well it maybe but until such time as it's illegal or I don't get erections I will keep my 6×4 dick in action.

Good on ya. Healthy attitude, obviously solid self esteem. It's a priceless trait.

 

[carolinagent]

Good on ya. Healthy attitude, obviously solid self esteem. It's a priceless trait.

Thanks! Variety is the spice of life. I offer a pleasurable mid-range alternative

 

[Hawks12345]

Me and my wife have tried the toy route, and without a doubt we’re much more beneficial to her physically, she still prefers me because it is me. I also offered to let her get a fwb with a large penis, I actually found a decent guy with a huge one willing to help, and she told me that would end the marriage. So communication is absolutely key not only for the bedroom but successful relationships overall.

Mate I’ve seen your pics nothing wrong with what you are packing down below.

 

[hammer75]

Mate I’ve seen your pics nothing wrong with what you are packing down below.

Thank you. That is most kind and generous

 

[Llbaker]

Agreed. But I would definitEly argue that that 'problem' is confined to the late Baby Boomers and early Generation Xers who didn't grow up in the porn era or experience the more liberal attitude taken sexually by women. Nowadays, women can reject on penis size even before they see the guy's face, and if they dump him after because of it, there are oceans of horny willing desperate men to take their place. I would say for those women 35 and under in the west, far fewer are in the situation you've mentioned.

For the substantially small, there are dildos and other replacements. But that completely comes down to whether the man can get a sexual kick out of seeing his partner satisfied by something other than his dick. If he can - and I certainly could - then that might go some way towards taking the frustration out of the argument. Communication is key though.

Quite possibly totally correct or at least correct directionally. Some militant feminists have made the case women shouldn't tolerate not being completely sexually satisfied. In many ways, this upfront attitude is probably more distressing for current generations of small men than it was for my generation, but if widespread, would prevent long term spinning of wheels and long delayed frustration and heartbreak.

However, there aren't enough better than average for pairing with all the women who want better than average, assuming more know what they want these days.

PS I recently noticed a number of female singers talking and singing pretty rough about this.

 

[DeclanBrent]

Quite possibly totally correct or at least correct directionally. Some militant feminists have made the case women shouldn't tolerate not being completely sexually satisfied. In many ways, this upfront attitude is probably more distressing for current generations of small men than it was for my generation, but if widespread, would prevent long term spinning of wheels and long delayed frustration and heartbreak.

However, there aren't enough better than average for pairing with all the women who want better than average, assuming more know what they want these days.

PS I recently noticed a number of female singers talking and singing pretty rough about this.

The most shocking thing I've seen is Lily Allen on YT telling thousands of screaming girls at a concert that small men were no good and if they ended up with one, he'd have to go the extra mile to keep them. The silly brainless little fools were jeering along. Imagine, say, Justin Bieber came out and told thousands of cheering blokes that women with small breasts had to do more than most to make up for it. It would be the end of him. We'd next see him crawling over Oprah and Ellen after 10 years in the wilderness, grovellingly have to prostate himself for being a vile male chauvinist pig.

You mention that size may be more distressing for current young men than for our generations previously. I agree with that 110%. But I have also read that average penis size is growing among the young for various reasons - not least I imagine because of natural selection. This may be difficult for some to believe, but average height has increased through the ages and continues to do so, so I don't discount it.

 

[trulybig]

If you know who Billie Eilish is (or don't) I think she just turned 18 and is perhaps the biggest music star now in the world. It was all intially accomplished with social media and any Youtube video I see of her she is very straight forward, expresses her thoughts very honestly and teenage girls love her. It is like Beatle Mania for adolescent girls. So, she is representative of exactly what I originally posted in terms of girls seeing nudity and penises easily now on the net. She in a couple different videos talks that guys buy fancy cars, or other luxury items because they have small penises. She also talks about some rapper who posted his giant erect cock (even longer than mine so must be well over 9") and how if she had it she laughs and says she would just look at it all day long. My point is she has the perception of size based upon the internet. Thus the average to smaller guy, she like other girls now, have a view that in the past was not within their awareness. So there is a judgement and thus again I wonder how it impacts you. The realities have changed.

 

[3268231]

I have a theory on why the media has made this acceptable.
In their attempt to be female-friendly, to show they are not part of the patriarchy - in fact that the patriarchy is a vile beast personified by the likes of Roger Ailes and Harvey Weinstein - they have bent over the other way. Their message is that women have been denied their right to sexual pleasure by us pigly, come-too-quickly men. But ladies, the media is desperate to signal, YOU have just as much right to pleasure as a man. So far, so good. But then we get into this territory: if a big dick is what makes you feel good and a small one doesn't, then ladies you have the right, the obligation to your sisters to be loud and proud about that. You don't have to explain to any man why you're dumping his short dick ass or why you're choosing a repulsive fuck buddy because he fills and stretches you with his fleshy Eiffel Tower.
And all the lovely ladies who might really not have cared too much one way or the other start to think: what's all this fuss about dick size? Ah, they're saying I shouldn't be ashamed of loving size? So what is it about size that's so good - I gotta find out.
And so the media drives the cultural grind until eventually the message soaks into the cultural consciousness that big dicks are better than small dicks so you go, girl!
And that's all fine and good and wonderful - but the problem is that it must entail someone - a group - being thrown under the bus. Those small dick motherfuckers. Quit your whining babies, us women have had to put up with your mysogynistic abuse for decade, centuries, so get back in your box. And the small guys go 'Hey that's discrimination. You can't say that! I couldn't get away with saying your vaj makes the Grand Canyon look like a mouse hole But hey I'm sure my bigger bros will step in to speak up for me because they're like my dudes' - but no the bigger bros are getting far too much attention from the girls and the media for looking like porn stars and the average guys don't want to get involved because that'll mean they're defending being small which means everyone will think THEY'RE small, and that would be mortifying, horrifying, absolutely the worst thing in the world, because then girls would snigger and gossip and your so called bros would think you less of a man. And so they say nothing or join the ridicule.
And so is born a type of Incel. And the media is jubilant because they have a cracking news story about embittered horrible hateful young men on the fringes of society that will sell papers like hot cakes and get clicks like Kardashian. And so it continues...

My wildly over generalised and clearly (partly) tongue in cheek take on our fucked up world

This. Sorry for jumping back in here, but I’ve really been feeling terrible lately and there are so many things in your post that more eloquently express how I’m feeling.

While I do think that talking with people here and reading threads have given me some perspective, it simply isn’t enough. Media and society today have led to this self internalization of hatred I have for my dick.

I can, without a doubt, state that growing up in this era surrounded by these ideas and ideologies has led me to a mind set where I will never be able to tolerate, let alone be proud of, my penis.

Like I said, speaking with the people on here have certainly helped lighten the feelings I’ve been having. I simply cannot allow myself to think of my equipment as anything other than pathetic and disappointing. And these feelings are constantly reinforced every day by countless outside sources.

It’s gotten to the point that I just think that my dick was natural selection telling me that I shouldn’t breed, lest I pass down this terrible situation to any prospective children.

All in all, to be blunt, the culture and society I have grown up in(I’m 26 currently) has taught me to hate my dick in every regard. And I do. I absolutely can’t stand my penis. I hate it and always will. I would never try to enter a relationship of any kind because I know at the end of the day I’m not good enough. This may seem regressive based on my previous posts in this thread, and maybe it is. But I just can’t let go of the internalized self hatred and despair.

So I’ve found the only way to alleviate it is just to give up on sex, relationships, and to an extent, happiness completely. I’ve accepted the fact that I have pathetic and useless junk, and while it’s a fact that I hate about myself, I can’t change it. So the only thing left to do is make sure I don’t pass it down to any children I might have. I clearly won’t be or at least feel good enough/worthy of sexual encounters. Ever.

People can tell me that my size is enough, or it’s not that bad(I’ve even shown someone on here who’ve said it isn’t too bad) or I can find other non penetrative solutions...or whatever they want. But at the end of the day I shouldn’t have to. I wish my dick was adequate, but unfortunately it isn’t. And every song, book, interview, joke, show...etc reinforces that view...
It is really disheartening and I’m certainly struggling with it. But there’s seemingly nothing else to do but give up. So at the very least I’m trying to make peace with that..

 

[DeclanBrent]

@Shybiguy No, no, no. I didn't post that bit of satire to justify u hating your dick. That was not ,y intention. I, too, like you hate my dick and resent people who mock small guys in any way. But you gotta find some ego that makes you fight back in your mind. If people know you have a small dick they'll try to bring you down a peg because that's human nature and humans are basically shits. But don't let them win. Have pride in yourself. If you can't love your dick then at least love yourself enough so that other people don't have one up on you before you've even opened your mouth (or your fly). Secretly and not-so-secretly people are always looking for ways to know that they're better than their co-workers, their neighbours, their friends, their siblings. Don't give them that reason on a plate - nobody deserves that gold-dust. They're not going to thank you for it, only know that they're better than you in at least one respect and that YOU think you're less than.

 

[3268231]

@Shybiguy No, no, no. I didn't post that bit of satire to justify u hating your dick. That was not ,y intention. I, too, like you hate my dick and resent people who mock small guys in any way. But you gotta find some ego that makes you fight back in your mind. If people know you have a small dick they'll try to bring you down a peg because that's human nature and humans are basically shits. But don't let them win. Have pride in yourself. If you can't love your dick then at least love yourself enough so that other people don't have one up on you before you've even opened your mouth (or your fly). Secretly and not-so-secretly people are always looking for ways to know that they're better than their co-workers, their neighbours, their friends, their siblings. Don't give them that reason on a plate - nobody deserves that gold-dust. They're not going to thank you for it, only know that they're better than you in at least one respect and that YOU think you're less than.

Why? I don’t see the point in fighting back...especially If they’re right..they do have a one up on me. As far as I’m concerned they’re better and I just need to roll over and get out of the way of the people who deserve it. Im not into sph at all and am discouraged and depressed it, but I %100 agree that I am simply not worthy of sex or a sexual relationship, no matter how much I may want it...

I simply don’t deserve it and need to get out of the way of “real” men who are either more appropriately hung or are proud and confident in being small. As for me, the self-hatred has brought me to a point where I would never be able to develop any kind of “ego” and can’t see a point in trying. I just hate myself so damn much haha.

But that’s just the lot I was given, the straw I drew. It’s clear to me that I just need to let natural selection take its course and remove myself from the potential gene pool...

Edit: I’m sorry if this comes off as whiny or argumentative, just been in a really bad headspace the past few days. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post though

 

[DeclanBrent]

Why? I don’t see the point in fighting back...especially If they’re right..they do have a one up on me. As far as I’m concerned they’re better and I just need to roll over and get out of the way of the people who deserve it. Im not into sph at all and am discouraged and depressed it, but I %100 agree that I am simply not worthy of sex or a sexual relationship, no matter how much I may want it...

I simply don’t deserve it and need to get out of the way of “real” men who are either more appropriately hung or are proud and confident in being small. As for me, the self-hatred has brought me to a point where I would never be able to develop any kind of “ego” and can’t see a point in trying. I just hate myself so damn much haha.

But that’s just the lot I was given, the straw I drew. It’s clear to me that I just need to let natural selection take its course and remove myself from the potential gene pool...

Edit: I’m sorry if this comes off as whiny or argumentative, just been in a really bad headspace the past few days. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post though

I get that you're down, we all go to the dark place at times. But you need to speak to someone about your state of mind. I have bad self esteem but I'd never roll over for anyone - regardless of dick or any other size. Appreciate that you're in a bad place, but in your case I don't think you're going to find the answers you're looking for on this forum or probably anywhere online.