Question for straight men about bisexual men

Kotchanski

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Hmm.... If I may allow myself to think out-loud and write to myself.

I just realized that, in the context of my friendships with other straight guys, I AM "straight." Unlike some gay or bisexual guys, I do not want to get straight guys into bed. What I enjoy about friendships/acquaintanceships with straight guys is the lack of sexual tension, and I think that's what straight guys enjoy in one another.

Gay guys have the lack of sexual tension with women. Us bisexual guys virtually have that with no one. I, myself, however, have that lack of sexual tension with straight guys -- because I'm not sexually interested in straight guys.

This!

I get on best with gay men, why? Because I don't want to sleep with them, have no hope in hell of sleeping with them, and they don't want to sleep with me.

In all other groups, I've had people back off either because they wanted more than I was offering, I wanted more than they were, or the best yet... They thought I wanted more when it couldn't have been further from my mind.

There are however many many straight people out there who can accept you for who you are, and couldn't give a toss about what is going on in your head sexually. Unless you flop it out on a plate in front of them, and demand they suck it, it really doesn't even cross their mind that you might be seeking more. (Again, I'm paraphrasing the mumbled rants behind me!)
 

B_henry miller

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It's been weird for me to figure this out. Because, I AM attracted to straight guys -- but in the way straight guys are attracted to straight guys. Not all attraction is sexual. What attracts me to straight guys is the chance to be around people where there is no sexual tension. So, in my relationships with straight men, I suppose I AM "one of them." In my relationships with straight guys I CAN talk about my attractions to women -- because those attractions DO exist. It's honest.

I suppose sometimes I've felt that it may be dishonest to not tell the FULL story, to not say "by the way, I like guys too." But I don't think that's necessary. Thanks. :smile:

This!

I get on best with gay men, why? Because I don't want to sleep with them, have no hope in hell of sleeping with them, and they don't want to sleep with me.

In all other groups, I've had people back off either because they wanted more than I was offering, I wanted more than they were, or the best yet... They thought I wanted more when it couldn't have been further from my mind.

There are however many many straight people out there who can accept you for who you are, and couldn't give a toss about what is going on in your head sexually. Unless you flop it out on a plate in front of them, and demand they suck it, it really doesn't even cross their mind that you might be seeking more. (Again, I'm paraphrasing the mumbled rants behind me!)
 

Charles Finn

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I was one of the first bi guys over 25 years ago but I prefer guys. I am very picky when it comes to having sex with women. that being said i prefer to hang out with women and have sex with guys.
 

B_curiousme01

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I personally think bi-sexual is just what the word implies. You enjoy both sexes. Nothing wrong with that. I like being around bi men. They seem...very comfortable when just hanging out in a group. My husband, on the other hand, thinks bi men are gay. One guy hitting on another equates to "gay" for him. He is totally straight and knows when other men are not. Some of your "straight" friends may also pick up on this. But if you don't hit on them, they'll just ignore it. Bi or gay men like being friendly to beautiful guys. Girls do to, but from what I understand, the signals are totally different.
 

MickeyLee

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you have the warped view of gay men, Mr. Miller.
is the oddest arrangement of homophobia and denial i have ever seen.
add some regimented gender/sexual roles.
kinda unsettling.

enjoy more.
worry less.
ya only got one life.
 

D_Quartered Pounder

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you have the warped view of gay men, Mr. Miller.
is the oddest arrangement of homophobia and denial i have ever seen.
add some regimented gender/sexual roles.
kinda unsettling.

enjoy more.
worry less.
ya only got one life.

How about we all just dance the night away? I don't mind looking like a goofball and shaking by bum to get some smiles on peoples faces :biggrin1:.
 

rawbone8

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It would be refreshing if the comradeship you enjoy was not based on you needing to "pass" as straight. It's somewhat pathetic needing to de-emphasize your enjoyment of the arts and emphasize the enjoyment of sports to impress the dudes.

I'm straight. A real friend (for me) is not a bigot. I don't accept that in people close to me. If they bail after getting to know you as a friend, then my conclusion is they must be bigoted. Not all straight guys are bigots.

I dislike it when females hide their intelligence to be more attractive to males. I find the people worth knowing are true to their convictions. Just be yourself. There will be some rejection, but maybe the loss is theirs.
 
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MickeyLee

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How about we all just dance the night away? I don't mind looking like a goofball and shaking by bum to get some smiles on peoples faces :biggrin1:.

that's kinda the "uurrmmm, okay" unease.

caught dancing, the dude probably felt a lil awkward catching someone in an unguarded moment. Mr. Miller said he was dancing because he thought nobody was watching. on realizing he'd been observed getting his Gaga on, is easy to think Mr. Miller's body language might have conveyed embarrassment or being uncomfortable. random dude made a light hearted comment to break the tension. had nothing to do with anyone thinking Mr. Miller was straight, or that no straight man would be caught dead dancing to Gaga.

same with the Madonna, is not that only a gay man would buy Madonna, or that Mr. Miller seemed to straight to buy Madonna. face it, Madonna has gone to shit since she developed an english accent.. not only that, she took Guy Richie with her!

the idea that all gay men are mincing fancy boys jumping from circuit party to shopping with the "girls" is completely outdated. there is a mythic quality to his perception of gay/bisexual men and straight men. where straight men are an aspiration ideal and gay men are a flawed default.

gay men/bisexual men are men. with every personality/gender/interest variable of any other human being on the planet. creating a caste system of sexuality is ridiculous. and offensive. you limit straight men, and you marginalize gay/bi-sexual men.

sexual tension - if there is no sexual tension, there is no sexual tension. if your straight friends find out you are not straight. most won't give a good god damn. you're currently mixing with a young group of men, you talk about an shift in sensitivities.. well, accepting of your sexuality would be one of the shifted sensibilities. is ya own hang up keeping you from being yourself around people. you won't be one bit less Mr. Miller once your terrible secret it out.
 

MickeyLee

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It would be refreshing if the comradeship you enjoy was not based on you needing to "pass" as straight. It's somewhat pathetic needing to de-emphasize your enjoyment of the arts and emphasize the enjoyment of sports to impress the dudes.

I'm straight. A real friend (for me) is not a bigot. I don't accept that in people close to me. If they bail after getting to know you as a friend, then my conclusion is they must be bigoted. Not all straight guys are bigots.

I dislike it when females hide their intelligence to be more attractive to males. I find the people worth knowing are true to their convictions. Just be yourself. There will be some rejection, but maybe the loss is theirs.


what Mr. Rawbone said
*humps him vigorously*
 

B_facedownassupboy

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I say it all depends on whether you're the "sissyfag" type of bi, or the "jockfag" type of bi.

Sissyfags will get called "just gay" and persecuted, but jockfags can, and almost always are, still found hot by hot girls who don't give a shit about their swinging both ways, and will still want to grunt out their gorgeous eugenic babies.

Everything in life is about appearances and eugenics. It's all shallow hypocrisy and flagrant double-standards.
 

B_curiousme01

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It's sad that it is a forced requirement that everyone here must be politically correct about everything in their life. What happened to giving someone the benefit of the doubt? People are people. We all have our flaws, insecurities and dislikes. We like to talk about ourselves and discuss things. We share fears and insecurities openly here. That's why most of us come here. Well...except for the galleries of course. Anyways, I try to not force my dislikes constantly down the throats of the membership. No one is perfect and not everyone shares mutually acceptable opinions or even experiences. If you want to really change opinions, a few kind words while stating your own will go a very long way and you'll probably sleep easier too. Otherwise, it's just looks like BS to try and make yourself feel better at the expense of another soul. The internet does not make it okay for us to be hurtful and spiteful towards other people.
 

Kotchanski

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I say it all depends on whether you're the "sissyfag" type of bi, or the "jockfag" type of bi.

Sissyfags will get called "just gay" and persecuted, but jockfags can, and almost always are, still found hot by hot girls who don't give a shit about their swinging both ways, and will still want to grunt out their gorgeous eugenic babies.

Everything in life is about appearances and eugenics. It's all shallow hypocrisy and flagrant double-standards.

Aww and look, you're the reported type of poster!
 

MickeyLee

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I say it all depends on whether you're the "sissyfag" type of bi, or the "jockfag" type of bi.

Sissyfags will get called "just gay" and persecuted, but jockfags can, and almost always are, still found hot by hot girls who don't give a shit about their swinging both ways, and will still want to grunt out their gorgeous eugenic babies.

Everything in life is about appearances and eugenics. It's all shallow hypocrisy and flagrant double-standards.

*blink*
*looks for a particularly sharp pointy parts rock*
 

Intrigue

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I say it all depends on whether you're the "sissyfag" type of bi, or the "jockfag" type of bi.

Sissyfags will get called "just gay" and persecuted, but jockfags can, and almost always are, still found hot by hot girls who don't give a shit about their swinging both ways, and will still want to grunt out their gorgeous eugenic babies.

Everything in life is about appearances and eugenics. It's all shallow hypocrisy and flagrant double-standards.


And that gives you permission to be as offensive as this? I think not. Learn some damned netiquette fool. Four posts since 2009... I wonder why.
 

MickeyLee

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It's sad that it is a forced requirement that everyone here must be politically correct about everything in their life. What happened to giving someone the benefit of the doubt? People are people. We all have our flaws, insecurities and dislikes. We like to talk about ourselves and discuss things. We share fears and insecurities openly here. That's why most of us come here. Well...except for the galleries of course. Anyways, I try to not force my dislikes constantly down the throats of the membership. No one is perfect and not everyone shares mutually acceptable opinions or even experiences. If you want to really change opinions, a few kind words while stating your own will go a very long way and you'll probably sleep easier too. Otherwise, it's just looks like BS to try and make yourself feel better at the expense of another soul. The internet does not make it okay for us to be hurtful and spiteful towards other people.

not sure the post above you felt all that restrained by political correctness.
:rolleyes:

or was ya comment directed elsewhere?
 

Padad7

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Wow this turned out to be a heavy thread..
I was thinking about it and realized that l don't have any bi-male friends. I think it would be cool to share their experiences, insights and perspectives.
 

Bbucko

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Interesting. Thanks. Maybe the answer is: straight men are individuals and the reaction varies by the individual.

You're getting warm here: now apply that same logic to the rest of humanity and you'll be on your way to enlightenment.

Any other comment I could add has already been made by Rawbone and ML.