Question for the bi guys

njfellow2002

Legendary Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2007
Posts
1,000
Media
0
Likes
1,517
Points
343
Location
New Jersey (United States)
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
Nailz-- if he is open to MFM, (as I am) he is already open minded. I recently was with a couple (I was 2rd male)--While wifey was sucking my cock, she motioned for hubby to come 'over and have a taste" and I let him. I did not recip. Next time you have a male over, invite guest male to suck on your BF and see how BF responds. Make it clear it is a one time, no recip situation. He may enjoy it and next time do more. A Guys self image is something that has developed over years. You can't rip it up in one night. You have to modify it (call it sexual growth) a little at a time.
 

damnimbi

Cherished Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2007
Posts
198
Media
3
Likes
393
Points
543
Location
Huntington Beach (California, United States)
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
thanks for all the replies.

he was watching tgirl porn the other night.. maybe a glimmer of hope? ;)

Think that's how my journey started. Early 20s, looking at the transexual professional papers that used to be found in LA. Was so turned on, I eventually called one. She had a pretty 'ugly' cock (very small, and very bent), but the experience woke something up in me. From that time, I was interested in cock, but only that. A transexual was the perfect middle ground, and came to know a few. I met a few men in the meantime, but all in anonymous situations.

Late 20s my identity started to evolve. I started to meet men in private locations, started to open up more to body contact. Guess opening up to kissing was the real step, as before it would feel unnerving (when seeing it in a movie). Guess I learned to match the sexual act, with the passionate one. Not it's almost a must if I'm meeting a top.

I now consider myself 'bisexual, but hetero romantic'. Only once did I have any semblance of feelings for a man, but thinking that was the euphoria from the amazing experience we had.

But I do believe this. If, for whatever reason, a man says he has a hard limit. Don't push it. You can introduce small things around the edges. But he must grow open to it himself, not be forced in any way....
 

Phil Ayesho

Superior Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2008
Posts
6,189
Media
0
Likes
2,792
Points
333
Location
San Diego
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
I became bi as the result of being genetically pre-disposed toward heterosexuality... but very early on exposed to homosexual contact in my initial sexual experiences. I ended up sexually servicing some older boys... and that imprinted me to resound to cock- but only on a purely sexual level... I never formed any kind of emotional yearnings toward guys.

As I got older and realized I really wanted to be with women, and only fell in live with women, I had to reconcile the sexual fantasies that still arose from those early, formative experiences. I could not deny that I had willingly participated, and gone back for more, week after week for two years... And I came to peace with it as being simply sexually open minded and bisexual... tho romantically heterosexual.
 
9

944592

Guest
I cannot speak to your particular situation, but I wish you luck, because a threesome, whatever the distribution of genitalia, is SO much fun when all three participants are equally interested in touching, sucking, kissing, and fucking the other two. I always thought of myself as straight, because of an overpowering attraction to everything female, be it body, face, hair, smell, touch, brain, anything! Women make me crazy! In a good way. :)

But I have a very curious sexuality, and always wondered what a cock would feel like in my mouth. Or in my ass.

I did some swinging a few years back and got to find out. It turns out that a lot of men, especially in middle age in my experience, are finally ready to try some sort of contact with other guys. Perhaps the middle aged aspect has more to do with my generation (I'm now 61) than with a specific age. Theories aside, at the age of 55, I finally had a guy suck my cock and I tried his. If you care, there's a two part story about it in my blog. His wife was very interested in having two men, but he wanted to play around too.

In the two years I was a swinger, I had several MFMs and one FFM. It was all just so damn much fun! The culmination was an afternoon with a married couple who craved DVP. Given my size, it took a bit to get into her pussy along with her hubby. But it was astounding - being inside her and rubbing cocks together. Oh my, oh my, it was good.

Anyway, I suppose I was always curious about my fellow cock-bearers, so I expect I have always been bi. But my preference is heavily weighted in favor of Women. :p
 

bi_todd

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Posts
1,390
Media
155
Likes
10,288
Points
543
Location
San Jose (California, United States)
Verification
View
Gender
Male
did you always consider yourself bi, or is it something that developed with time/experience/curiosity? what experiences did you have that opened you up to the thought of being with another guy?
My same-sex attractions was there at least from puberty, but I spent too many years trying to deny and suppress them rather than understand and explore them.

I had my first M-M experience with a college roomie. It was fairly tame stuff (masturbating together, showering together, sleeping naked in the same bed together). I was young and every experience was new. Just touching another guy's cock was electrifying. We never did kissing or oral or anal (that would have been "too gay"). My emotions caught fire and I fell in love with him. I was confused and in turmoil. I became needy and possessive which never has a happy outcome. The relationship ended badly and I decided to focus on M-F relationships instead. After that, I lived a completely heterosexual lifestyle for the next 20 years (although my M-M attractions never really went away). I had a number of meaningful M-F relationships with strong emotional and physical attractions. I eventually got married and started a family.

As others in this thread have mentioned, I experienced a significant change at midlife. It wasn't that my M-F attractions changed, rather my desire to suppress my M-M attractions changed. I sensed that windows of opportunity were closing and I needed to act. I'm not the kind of guy who would ever visit a gay bar, but the internet made exploration too easy. I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to start fucking guys in the ass. It started out small with gay chat rooms and watching online gay porn. It progressed gradually (over years) to include kissing, oral, anal topping, anal bottoming, and even mild kink. None of these steps happened suddenly - each took a year or more of acclimatization. It is an insidious process. It chips away at your resistance and perceptions of what is acceptable and even normal. It forces you to live a compartmentalized life as a coping mechanism. It also numbs your conscience. At one time I did feel guilt, but somewhere along this path the guilt disappeared. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

During my 20-year period of heterosexuality, I would classify my attractions as 20 gay/80 straight. If I am being honest, those percentages have now shifted to 90 gay/10 straight. I attribute that to conditioning from a decade of increasingly intense exposure to gay porn and gay sex. I don't doubt that conditioning could also reverse those percentages. I had 20 years to explore my hetero side, and so now I am having these years to explore my gay side. And in similar fashion, I am experiencing a number of meaningful M-M relationships with strong emotional and physical attractions.

Although I keep my M-M attractions a secret, I don't consider myself a closeted homosexual. To dismiss my heterosexual attractions and experiences as inauthentic would be just as wrong as dismissing my homosexual attractions and experiences as inauthentic.

Even among fellow bisexuals, there are widely different viewpoints. Some bisexuals state firmly that they only want M-M physical gratification and are repelled by the thought of emotional intimacy/bonding/attachment with a man. M-M kissing is even too much for some. Everyone is entitled to their own views and feelings I suppose. However, my M-M attractions exist on both an emotional and physical level.

In my option, bonding is the normal and expected outcome of repeated sexual unions with someone (M or F) you find attractive. Humans are just wired that way. In fact, I think something is broken inside when that kind of attachment does not occur (I'm not talking about random hookups and one-night-stands here). I wouldn't want to be the kind of person who remains emotionally detached through intense sexual intimacy.

Above all, I have come to understand that bisexuality is not an easy path. Rather than providing the best of both worlds, bisexuality means that difficult choices much be made about which desires will be fulfilled which desires will remain unfulfilled (or only partially fulfilled). A lack of comprehension, understanding and acceptance of bisexuality exists in both the gay and straight worlds. Neither world feels like home. Both insist that bisexuals are just homosexuals in denial. The kind of support from the gay community is essentially to comfort bisexuals to help them understand they are really gay. The kind of support from the straight community is more akin to total rejection. It can all be terribly frustrating.
 

agentblueuk

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Sep 10, 2006
Posts
602
Media
39
Likes
3,587
Points
598
Location
Croydon (Greater London, England)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
Thanks for sharing your personal experiences bi_todd

I think you explained quite well how uncomfortable the middle ground can be.
I strongly believe that part of the issue is how nobody talks about it. Straight guys in fear that exploring those feelings might be some form of Pandora's box. Gays feeling that because they moved from society's expectations for their sexuality to one they feel better reflects their true feelings, that anyone else must also be on that same path, that excludes them from certain things in life. I think moving from the comfort zone of society's expectations is so unsettling that sometimes people try and rush to conform to a new gay identity.
Sadly it's human nature it would seem to want to classify and label, when the true reality is that sexuality and relationships are way more fluid and varied than we have proper language to describe; though the rise of terms like bromance do give me hope
 

latinluva

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Posts
1,783
Media
221
Likes
14,899
Points
543
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
"developed with time/experience/curiosity"

Yes, that's how it happend for me. One day I'd have sex with a woman and I was like,"That was so good, I'll never be with a man again." Then when I was with a man, I was like,"Oh that was sooo good, I'll never be with a woman again." This back and forth scenario played over and over again for many many years. Then one day I said,"Fuck it, I'm bisexual and that's just the way it's gonna be." I was lucky enough to find a woman who love me and my bisexuality. We've played with other men, but nothing serious. I would love to bring in another man and do many things with him and her together. Good luck!
 

Samantha Hopkins

Loved Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2015
Posts
225
Media
0
Likes
666
Points
138
Location
Boston
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
I would not give up. I would tell him this is something that is important to you. Maybe baby steps is the way to go. First you might try him putting the other guys cock in you or jerking the other guy off or something. Most guys are horny enough to try stuff

Persistent baby steps
 

secretasianman

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2013
Posts
17
Media
0
Likes
13
Points
38
Location
Cambridge, MA
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
I am bi, and a bottom. In the gay/bi men's world, top means someone who prefers to fuck another guy's ass, a bottom prefers getting his ass fucked, and versatile means they like being either a top or a bottom.

If my gal really wanted me to fuck another guy in the ass, I'd be looking for a tgirl type, or a somewhat femme guy with a nice ass. That's just my preference, if I had to in order to make my gal happy. It's like if you asked him to fuck another girl in front of you, what would be his preference?

So, you might want to ask your guy what's his preference. Who knows, maybe he's a bi bottom like me? Maybe he'd prefer being the one getting fucked?

It's tough to judge by appearance and behavior. I'm typically a manly man, and dominant with women. When it comes to men, I prefer being submissive, and no one would have a clue that's how I am unless I told them.
 

Dex1979

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 28, 2016
Posts
643
Media
65
Likes
12,045
Points
413
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
There are periods in the last ten years that I had attitude of straight...then after a while..changed to bi..since I had active sexual games with both sexes...
And there is also a time that I had watched os much gay porn that I am saying to myself..im gay...but again...im turned on by girls..and yes maybe living with a threesome under one roof..is probably more ideal!lol
 

Curious4Over10inNJ

Sexy Member
Joined
Aug 3, 2016
Posts
9
Media
1
Likes
49
Points
23
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Male
For a long time I've been coming on here and other sites, ogling at massive sizes.. fantasizing about having one, or putting one in my mouth.. but my REAL life persona, I've only gotten with girls (about 15 and most of them VERY good looking with nice bodies) but a part of me was repulsed, I felt awkward touching them, and I am not good at sex... very boring, let me get this over with. Just joined here actually and actually going to do it if the opportunity presents itself, I WANT A GUY to get with me that is really hung. Not sure if I'd be a bottom, but I want to touch and pleasure it with my mouth. I want to see if the inhibitions that I had with women are there with a big guy. It's what I've pleasured myself to for a long time. Am I just not meant to be a take charge guy in bed with women? Maybe the role should be reversed but with a guy I can look in the eye and tell him how much I worship his penis and want to play with it everyday. But then again, no interest in "average" men.
 
  • Like
Reactions: CuriousNJWM

lbmaine

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 17, 2010
Posts
373
Media
3
Likes
206
Points
378
Location
Bangor (Maine, United States)
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
I had some "flings" with a couple of guys when I was younger, as many guys have. Ended up getting married (hetero), had three kids. Started to have feelings for guys. About 20 years ago (yes, I'm old!) Met some guys online (most of whom were also married). Continued until my wife passed, and then I "switched teams". Really enjoy being with a guy, both socially and sexually.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cm4hjl

elixer26

Cherished Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Posts
499
Media
0
Likes
404
Points
208
Location
Toronto, ON, Canada
Gender
Male
As I said before, I'm a hardcore homo. I tend to be more attracted to bi-curious,curious, str8-ish guys (insert label) basically guys who have never thought (admittedly) about or been with another guy sexually. One guy that I had sex with said that he wanted to experiment for sometime but it's not easy to just go out their and meet a guy for sex, especially if you're in the straight world. Those guys don't know how to do that. For some reason str8 guys are also attracted to me, they feel more comfortable opening up (sexually) to me. Theres time tht str8 guys have hit on me in public. I always know when a guy is curious or just curious about me. In contrast, (I'm black) and I did have sex with a redneck (not to be racist but that's that he called himself) So I asked him do you like black guys? he said no. He then said, but I like you. Hmm, so what's so different about me? So, I brought up that example because it seems that sexuality is not so much male or female. It's more about that persons specific quality. Guys like something about me. I've seen guys looks at me in ways they don't look at other guys. So, it's not just physical, sometimes, It's emotional. I've had str8 guys that were friends get really close to me. It's more about how you make a guy feel. I always say I won't know what a guy is really into, until I get him alone. Guys change completely behind closed doors.
 
9

902369

Guest
As I said before, I'm a hardcore homo. I tend to be more attracted to bi-curious,curious, str8-ish guys (insert label) basically guys who have never thought (admittedly) about or been with another guy sexually. One guy that I had sex with said that he wanted to experiment for sometime but it's not easy to just go out their and meet a guy for sex, especially if you're in the straight world. Those guys don't know how to do that. For some reason str8 guys are also attracted to me, they feel more comfortable opening up (sexually) to me. Theres time tht str8 guys have hit on me in public. I always know when a guy is curious or just curious about me. In contrast, (I'm black) and I did have sex with a redneck (not to be racist but that's that he called himself) So I asked him do you like black guys? he said no. He then said, but I like you. Hmm, so what's so different about me? So, I brought up that example because it seems that sexuality is not so much male or female. It's more about that persons specific quality. Guys like something about me. I've seen guys looks at me in ways they don't look at other guys. So, it's not just physical, sometimes, It's emotional. I've had str8 guys that were friends get really close to me. It's more about how you make a guy feel. I always say I won't know what a guy is really into, until I get him alone. Guys change completely behind closed doors.

Or maybe these guys just want big black dick. Lot's of "straight" men are obsessed with black penises and from your posts it doesn't seem like you're the bottom in these sexual escapades.