Question for the Celibate: Voluntary or something else?

killerb

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I was for years while I cared for my ex-wife who has extreme RA. I knew I couldn't commit to any relationship and didn't want to hurt anyone or be hurt. This was my choice as she would have never known and it wouldn't even had been cheating. It mad me very sad and sex was far from my mind.

RA is a horrible thing...I'm sorry you both had to go through that...
 

stormmaker

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I'm curious about this. I have a couple of male friends who have both told me that they haven't had sex in a really long time. It's been 3 years for one and I'm not sure about the other, but he hasn't had a girlfriend in many years. They both say that they want to get married & have kids, but they haven't been dating anyone for quite some time.

My question to those who are celibate, is it because you WANT to be, or is it just that you haven't met anyone of interest?


I have aquestion what kind of celibate are your friends because there is two kinds One the the kind were you don't have sex with anyone but you jerkoff and the other is complete no jerking off and no sex. I have done both and the one with no sex and no jerking off is much harder be the times that I was celibate was voluntary and I put the energy to something else in my life. the only down side was that I was horny all the time.
 

helgaleena

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For me it's because of all the diseases out there so I just choose to keep em closed. But it's also because I'm fat & ugly and no one wants me. That's about it.


I am not celibate even when I have no partner other than myself. Sprinkle, you have to want yourself at the very least. Get comfortable with the way you are and find just one quality about yourself to admire. Classic good taste in avatars comes to mind :wink:
 

ohboyyy

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Im celibate by choice, Ive had sex in the past, but now im done skanking around.
 
D

deleted3782

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My question to those who are celibate, is it because you WANT to be, or is it just that you haven't met anyone of interest?

I live in a pretty small town. I know all the villagers here, I grew up here and know the lay of the land. Unless someone new moves in, or someone's situation changes dramatically, or I import someone from elsewhere...I'm not having any kind of sexual contact any time soon...

my question to you is this: do you WANT to be with someone? or is it just EASIER & SAFER to remain alone?

...and after some time being celibate passes, getting your mojo back becomes more difficult. You do begin to question your desirability, and your ability. It does become MUCH easier to say "to hell with it all" and thereby making it a none issue and something that you don't have to stress about. And is that such a bad thing? You don't have to share the bed, deal with snoring, or get woken up to someone else's schedule. You get to eat what you want, when you want it. No nagging, no bartering, no dealing with suspicions or infidelity. So yes, in some ways it does make life easier and safer by making things simpler and logical. That's a trade-off some are willing to take.
 

airc3

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I have never been with anyone else so I can't compare. All I know is everyone I know in a relationship is miserable. I have become totally self sufficient, and I don't need anyone. Am I happy? No. But neither is anyone else I know, honestly.

I haven't met anyone in years that I would even consider asking out or want to be in a relationship with. Is that odd?

my question to you is this: do you WANT to be with someone? or is it just EASIER & SAFER to remain alone?
 

airc3

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Second this!

...and after some time being celibate passes, getting your mojo back becomes more difficult. You do begin to question your desirability, and your ability. It does become MUCH easier to say "to hell with it all" and thereby making it a none issue and something that you don't have to stress about. And is that such a bad thing? You don't have to share the bed, deal with snoring, or get woken up to someone else's schedule. You get to eat what you want, when you want it. No nagging, no bartering, no dealing with suspicions or infidelity. So yes, in some ways it does make life easier and safer by making things simpler and logical. That's a trade-off some are willing to take.
 

rj285

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I am celibate for both reasons. I don't know of a girl I would consider dating, but I'm not looking real hard either.
 

Charles Finn

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and at 44 my life is far from perfect but I love my life
you only get one go round so make the most of it
if you choose not to have sex or to find the one and you are happy so be it
 

Calboner

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I think hardly anyone is celibate by choice, but plenty of people are celibate because of some combination of lack of opportunity, lack of social skills, lack of morale (to do something about it), lack of interest in casual or loveless sex, and such factors. I think that list would describe my case, anyway.
 

killerb

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I have never been with anyone else so I can't compare. All I know is everyone I know in a relationship is miserable. I have become totally self sufficient, and I don't need anyone. Am I happy? No. But neither is anyone else I know, honestly.

I haven't met anyone in years that I would even consider asking out or want to be in a relationship with. Is that odd?

hmm...i wouldn't say it's ODD...it's just your reality.
 

killerb

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I have aquestion what kind of celibate are your friends because there is two kinds One the the kind were you don't have sex with anyone but you jerkoff and the other is complete no jerking off and no sex. I have done both and the one with no sex and no jerking off is much harder be the times that I was celibate was voluntary and I put the energy to something else in my life. the only down side was that I was horny all the time.

I think they do jerk - I can't be certain...but I'd bet they are...