In retrospect, I find my choice of desired-man rather questionable, but... one day when I was about 8 or 9, there was a full-page shirtless picture of Emilio Estevez in the newspaper that my parents brought home, and I remember feeling compelled to steal that page after they'd finished with the newspaper, and to keep ogling it while alone in my room. I certainly didn't understand the motivation behind my doing it at the time, but I do remember the feeling of compulsion to do it. :smile:
About a year after that (as I was certainly not quite at high school), I remember sitting with my family when my father started flicking through the television channels --- and for what can't have been more than four or five seconds, a young blond guy appeared on the screen discussing his boyfriend. My father flicked on, but I remember being filled with a simultaneous sense of lust (for the blond guy) and of recognition, albeit a recognition that I wouldn't be able to explain or accept for another 7 or 8 years after that.
